Wally with a Brolly

Last week, we started a weekly chat between Cam and myself. Several questions were sent to Cam every day about the main football topics of the day, just to gauge his reaction. This week, we're delighted to have welcomed Chaka Demus to the party. We'll try and keep this going as long as possible. In the meantime, enjoy.

Wigan-Swansea tonight [Tuesday]. And, if Wigan win this game in hand, they will be even on points with Newcastle, and close to survival. Do you think they can stay up? If so, who will get relegated? And which surviving team will have the better season next year?
 
Chaka Demus: Unfortunately I don't think Wigan will do 'The Great Escape' again. Their defensive errors on Monday were truly awful. A few of their players have really shined this year (Maloney in particular) and will surely leave over the summer - as will their manager, I hope, but overall they deserve to go down.

Gary Caldwell and Roberto Martinez might finally be caught out.

Surely Newcastle can't have such a shockingly bad season again? I think they will improve next year and get back to where they should be.

Cam: Massive game. I think everyone is going to be glued to the TV tonight to see if the Premier League's greatest escape artists can do it again. I'm hoping Martinez & Co can get the three points tonight, firstly because I love Roberto Martinez and what he has done at Wigan, but secondly because I would love to see the relegation battle go right to the wire. Plus, a lot of teams have had terrible seasons and rightly find themselves fighting for their lives. Newcastle for example have been poor especially when you look at their players (Krul, Coloccini, Gutierrez, Cabaye, Tioté, Cissé) and the season they had last year it really is inexcusable from the Toon. That said I would hate to see them get relegated as they are a massive club with great fans and unrivalled passion that befits the Premier League. For me Wigan can stay up but simply have to win tonight. As to who will get relegated, I honestly have no idea. Norwich, Newcastle, Sunderland, Wigan and Southampton are all bang in trouble and even Fulham and Villa are precariously positioned despite reaching the hallowed 40 point mark.

Bappo: Huge game for Wigan. Even if they lose today, I think there is a possibility (! Clive Tyldesley voice) that they can save themselves. Their last game is against Villa, and that will be a massive crunch game. Wigan have been there, done that and their players have no fear really, because they're not going to move clubs should they get relegated. None of them really are of Premier League quality. That is, except James McCarthy, Shaun Maloney, Arouna Kone and Emerson Boyce. One of those was a typo. The other thing going for Wigan is that the other teams around them are equally crap. I mean, Newcastle? What a shambles. I could see Sunderland sneaking into the relegation zone on the last day, leaving us with Paolo Di Canio reacting in a way we've never seen a man react before, and imploring La Mamma, Dio and Benito for help. Great, politically incorrect entertainment in store.

Bappo has a twisted desire to see this man's reaction if Sunderland go down.

Out of the surviving teams, I do see Villa as having the better season next year. Should they keep Bentekkers and Weimann, and with their youngsters gaining experience and progressing (particularly the impressive Lowton), they could make a decent climb up the table. Lambert seems to have turned things around, and the majority of the players seem to enjoy playing for him. Stoke, however, will go down. Good riddance to them.

Swansea have had a pretty great season. Do you think Michael Laudrup can recreate the same magic next year?
 
Chaka Demus: I don't see why not. It can't be bad having one of the most majestic, skillful and graceful midfielders of all time as your manager, can it? They're a good group of players and when they can be bothered play very attractive possession football.

Cam: Swansea's success this season has been both surprising and impressive even if they appear to have taken their foot off the gas recently. Michael Laudrup has worked wonders and deservedly received a lot of credit as have many of Swansea's players. However, the biggest challenge facing the club is that infamous second season syndrome which will undoubtedly kick in around August time. The other Premier League clubs will have studied Swansea with interest this year and figured out what to expect and how to effectively combat their slick passing game. Plus they will probably lose a player or two this summer (Michu, Hernandez, De Guzman, Vorm, Williams…) and some players may be content to rest on their laurels as they have been following the Carling Cup success.

Look at that man. And you think Swansea can't keep up their success?

European football will prove to be a challenging distraction, Cardiff's promotion will add two hotly contested derbies to their fixture list, and I'll go on record and say that there is little to no chance of them winning any silverware next season. Plus in terms of improving their league position, I do not see them breaking into the top 5 (Man U, Man City, Chelsea, Arsenal, Spurs) and nor do I see them leapfrogging either of the Merseyside clubs. So without trying to come across as "The Grinch" I do not believe that Swansea's 2013/14 season will be as successful as their 2012/13 season and I unfortunately doubt whether this season's magician will be able to recreate the same magic next year. This is a shame because I have really enjoyed watching them play truly great football at times this season but as a realist, I just feel that they have exceeded their capabilities this season and will struggle to repeat this next year. Success is difficult to obtain but even harder to maintain.

Bappo: Why not? Although that might prove to be quite difficult. I'm torn between a prediction of seeing Swansea continuing to progress or expecting them to go down. Seriously. They're going to be stretched, and big players like Vorm, Williams and Michu might leave this summer. In any case, it'll be near-impossible for that team to keep up that level of performance. Michu won't score 20 goals again, De Guzman is only here on loan, and Boy Flowers won't perform like that again. Relegation might be a possibility, but I sincerely see them as having a drop-off. Expect a 12th or 14th place next season. Michael Laudrup is too good to take them down.

Sir Alex Ferguson's retirement: your view.

Chaka Demus: It has come as a bit of a shock, I must admit. SAF has been manager at MU since before I was born so it hard to imagine anyone else at the helm but I think Moyes is a very good choice. Deciding to retire in a year when your team has won the league with weeks to spare isn't a bad time to go either... He's not always been my favourite person and the word 'legend' is thrown about a little too loosely these days but you can't deny that he is a true great

Cam: I can't say I was surprised by this news to be honest. I mean come on it's been on the cards for a few years now. The man is 71 and in need of a hip replacement, he can't carry on forever. What did surprise me is the way everyone (the media included) has been so shocked, flabbergasted and devastated. Take a look at Peter Schmeicel's interview where he only just stops short of breaking down and crying! He is a great man who has worked wonders at Old Trafford and left a legacy that will probably never be repeated. He has at times worked wonders, he has won countless trophies and records and he will go down as one of the world's greatest ever managers. However, lets not forget the fact that his success did come at a price and he did spend and waste an awful lot of money including: £30m for Veron, £30m for Berbatov, £20m for Nani, £20m for Anderson, £20m for Hargreaves, £15m for Young, £15m for Valencia….

Do I have the utmost respect for him and what he has done for football and the Premier League? Yes.
Am I surprised he has announced his retirement now? No.
Wil I miss him? No.
Am I looking forward to seeing how Man U now evolve under a new manager (David Moyes)? Yes.
Was I pleased to see David Moyes get the job and be awarded a 6 year contract? Yes.
Do I think David Moyes has got a tough job on his hands? Yes.





Bappo: I've made my feelings clear here. It hasn't been a shock though. He's 71 and has dedicated his life to this club 24/7 for 26 years. That'd be knackering for anyone really. I can't say I'll miss him, what with his lack of grace and inability to genuinely take the moral high ground sometimes. The hardest thing for his successor will be to ensure that Man Utd still get preferential treatment from refs everywhere they go. Now THAT will be difficult.

Spurs-Chelsea tonight. If you had to pick a side from both teams, who would make it?

Chaka Demus: A team from Spurs and Chelsea - TOUGH:
Cech - Walker -Ivanovic -Vertonghen -Cole
                           Luiz
Hazard                Lampard                  Bale
                    Mata                Defoe

You guys are probably going to disagree with that but it's the best I've got just now - my subs bench is unreal though!

Cam: Chelsea & Spurs best team:

Cech, Walker, Vertonghen, Ivanovic, A Cole, Hazard, Mata, David Luiz, Lampard, Bale, Defoe

Bench: Lloris, Azpilicueta, JT, Dembele, Ramires, Oscar, Torres

There's love for Branislav from all of us. But then again, looking at that picture, why wouldn't there be?

Bappo: Definitely a tough one in my book, and I'll go for a good old-fashioned 4-2-3-1.
Cech in goal, even though I'm a huge fan of Lloris and think he'll become the Premier League's best goalkeeper in the next few years. but Cech is goalkeeping royalty.

In defence, Walker-Ivanovic-Vertonghen-Cole. Pretty self-explanatory here. Please don't kid me and put JT in there. He's not worth it anymore. And Gary Cahill is a bit of a joke. I'd obviously put Ivanovic as my captain. He's a Serb, so he's tough as nails. But he actually seems like a nice guy, and he's one hell of a pro! Just like a this reaction at the Suarez bite. Glorious.

In midfield, my two 'holding players' would be Sandro and Dembele. They have a good understanding, are both more dynamic than Lampard (overrated) and Mikel, and are technically better than Ramires. Sandro is one of the Prem's best shields, and Dembele one of the best dribblers from midfield and an underrated physical presence and tackler. They both offer more than all other central midfielders at Tottenham and Chelsea. Even Josh McEachran. I like David Luiz but he's not there yet. And he's incredibly lazy.

My three attacking mids would be Mata-Bale-Hazard, in no particular order or position. They'd be allowed to do what they want. Hazard is silky smooth and has had a better season than people think. Bale is Bale and Mata is Mata. Just please stop the 'It doesn't Mata to Juan that he's played so much' headlines. Oscar is not good enough yet and whilst I'm a big fan of Lennon, he's just not as good as the other three. But there's no shame in that. As for Dempsey, I used to love him at Fulham but he's just not good enough for this team. Same thing for Gael Kakuta. Actually, not the same thing for Kakuta. He's just crap.

Finally, up front will be Romelo Lukaku. Crap, I'm not allowed to put him in. OK, I'll settle for Jermain Defoe. He's better than Adebayor and Torres put together. That's an uninterested Adebayor I'm talking about. In terms of pure talent Adebayor is up there but he just focuses on his pay check. As for Torres, he's a shell of his former self, can't be bothered and simply doesn't have the same enthusiasm for goal that he used to have. I feel bad for Demba Ba but thre's just somethng in my head which tells me he's not as good as people think he is.

Surprisingly, McEachran is left out. £5 to any man who knows where McEachran is playing at the moment.

David Moyes: the right appointment at Man Utd?

Chaka Demus: A lot has been made over the last few days about Moyes not having won anything at Everton. I don't think that really matters given how he consistently over-achieved with regards league position and has finished above the red side of Liverpool for the last 2 seasons. The fact that mid-way through this season there was talk of Everton making the Champions League is astonishing. I think he is a very good appointment and will do great things at Man Utd - certainly very big shoes to fill though!

Cam: I was very pleased to see Moyesy get the job and the way in which he was swiftly awarded a 6 year contract demonstrates the faith shown in him by the club. The plan is that he carries on the SAF dynasty and while this is no small task, he is undoubtedly a top Premier League manager with a decade of Premier League experience and being a tenacious Scot he is clearly cut from the same cloth as Fergie. He has worked wonders with Everton and deserves his chance to manage a top club.

What does he lack? In my opinion David Moyes lacks a couple of things. European experience for starters and also that knack of winning games when your team's not playing particularly well, something which SAF absolutely mastered. However, Fergie will still be at Man U advising his hand-picked man as much as possible and lets give David Moyes a chance. It is harsh to compare his tenure at Everton to SAF's at Man U given the difference in resources as much as anything else. However, do I believe that Moyes will complete the newly signed contract and still be there in 2019? No. He has massive shoes to fill and the only way is down (not Essex).

How did this band of useless human beings end up being referenced on Wally?

Bappo: Call me harsh, but who else was going to come? Mark Hughes? Steve Bruce? Jose Mourinho wasn't wanted, mostly because he has an annoying habit of thinking he's bigger than the clubs he works for (seemingly true for Chelsea, where they've been begging him to come back, as shown by Lampard and Terry's continued forays into the press praising Jose. Funny it's happening at a time when they're becoming irrelevant for Chelsea), and Klopp loves Dortmund too much even though he fits the bill. I would have loved to have seen Man Utd go for someone like Pellegrini, who has all the right credentials. Carlo Ancelotti could have been a sneaky signing as he's a proven manager. David Moyes was the right choice in that context, and I'm happy for him. I think he'll do well although he's got big boots to fill. He's a proven Premier League manager, has worked long-term for a club, develops young players and Fergie likes him and will guide him early on. His lack of European experience doesn't worry me, as Man Utd are miles away from winning the Champions League. And it's not as if Klopp had huge experience before this season, and he's done ok hasn't he? I'm just disappointed for Kenny Jackett who took a huge risk by resigning from Milwall and thinking he was on the short list. Unlucky Kenny.

Jackett: big gambler. Didn't pay off. Obviously.

Leicester-Watford: who do you think will go through, and who do you want to see go through?

Chaka Demus: I listened to the 5 Live commentary of the game last night and Leicester were really on top. I am glad they got the goal at the end and would like to see them (against Palace) in the final. 8 of Watford's starting XI last night were Udinese loan players and I just don't think that is right - Ian Holloway had a good rant about this in January. If Palace were using that many players from another club to win us promotion, I would struggle to really get behind my team.

Cam: After Leicester won 1-0, this game is evenly poised and could go either way. I think Watford are the stronger team and I hope that they go through mainly because of my love for Gianfranco Zola, one of the greatest players to ever grace our shores.

Bappo: I'd like to see Leicester go through, and I think they will. Watford are hungover from that season finale and their keeper's slippery hands. And that's not even taking into account that Manuel Almunia is their usual keeper. Yikes. I like Pearson and he's bought British, whilst I think Zola is a bit overrated and is presiding over a team made up of Udinese loanees. They're just a more exotic Peterborough who, somehow, have ended up with a lot of Man Utd loanees. Just like Hull as well. Funny that. I think Leicester will go through, and look out for Anthony Knockaert, a young French U-21 who's done very well. He could be the key.

Knockaert: look out for him, says Bappo

Crystal Palace-Brighton: who do you think is the better manager between Gus Poyet and Ian Holloway, and who are the players to look out for?

Chaka Demus: I think right now that Ian Holloway is still the better manager of the two. Having said that, I think Poyet will become a better manager in the future with a few additional years of experience. Players to look out for: LuaLua, Mackail-Smith - Murray, Dobbie, Zaha, Phillips, Bolasie, Dikgacoi. I don't like our chances to be brutally honest but I am trying to remain optimistic.

Cam: Both great managers full of energy and charisma but I think Poyet has got more potential. Holloway has had his stint in the Premier League and I would like to see how Gus would fare in the top league. Players to look out for include Zaha, Mackail Smith, Vicente, Bolasie.

Gus and Ian sharing a giggle. Reports that this was based on a 'knock-knock' joke prove unfounded. Allegations that this laugh was at Wayne Bridge's career over the last 4 years are, however, not denied.

Bappo: I think Gus is the better manager, and the one with more potential. I've always seen Holloway as a likeable clown overrated for his time at Blackpool. Yes, they did play good football. Yes, it was brave. No they did not have any balance to their team. He's done the same thing at Palace, where his team can't defend. He's actually done quite poorly at Palace in all fairness. Players to look out for? Mackail-Smith, Barnes, David Lopez, Vicente and Liam Bridcutt for Brighton, and Zaha, Bolasie and Parr for Palace. It'll also be good to see how crap Wayne Bridge is now.

FA Cup final week-end: where will the game be won and lost for either team? And what is your prediction (actual score and scorers)?

Chaka Demus: The game will be won and lost by Wigan's defense as they are the weak link in the equation. Giving the ball away, stumbling over one another, being far too casual in front of goal, losing concentration at the wrong moment - these have been the causes of their current league position.

If their back 4 stay switched on it could be a reasonable game but I still think Man City will win at least 3-1. Scorers: Maloney (Wigan take a shock lead through a well-hit free-kick by the pint-size Irishman and the commentators start saying "Could it happen?" etc). However, the inevitable will happen and Man City score from the resulting kick-off. Yaya Toure loves an FA Cup goal so he'll get one. As will Zabaleta after running the length of the pitch he strikes a loose ball first time from the right channel about 25 yards out and nearly puts a hole in the back of the net. Joleon Lescott will then finish his playing days at City with a monstrous header from outside the box. Don't ask me how I know all this. I just do.

Lescott bearing the mark of that header Chaka Demus is talking about. You can't tell me no-one's ever made this joke before.

Cam: The game will be won by Man City as they are the much stronger team all over the pitch. In goal, defence, midfield and attack they are streaks ahead of minnows Wigan. As much as I'm rooting for the underdog, I just can't see Martinez's men doing it. Wigan's defence is not the best to put it kindly, they were a shambles against Swansea midweek, and City's midfield with the beast that is Yaya Touré will dominate the play.

I predict City to win 3-0, two goals from Aguero where he will dribble 4 players and scream it into the top corner and one from Yaya, a thunderbolt from outside the box after a 63 yard gallop. Wigan to lose the final I'm afraid then lose to Arsenal and need to beat Villa on the final day to have a chance of surviving.

Bappo: The game will be lost and won depending on Man City's players' moods. If they all behave like Samir Nasri, then it'll be a shock win for Wigan. If they all behave like Kompany, then it'll be a rout. City's team is just too good, and I fear for McCarthy against Toure. It will be 3-1 Man City: Aguero will open the scoring before James Milner adds a second through sheer hard work (what else?). Kompany will score a header before showing us his guns and making me feel overwhelmed by how awesome he is. With 5 minutes left, Nasri will try to dribble Al-Habsi three times over, will fall on his arse, Wigan will counter and Kolarov, who will have just come on, will forget that he's meant to be a left-back and will leave a gaping hole down his side. Arouna Kone will run into space, shoot 3 times straight at Pantilimon (Hart will be controversially dropped to teach him a lesson) before Franco di Santo swoops in and shoots wide. Except the ball will bounce off Kolo Toure (brought on for some unexplainable reason) and head straight into goal. Di Santo will earn himself a goal bonus and a summer move to Liverpool where he'll partner Borini in a new-look attack. Glorious.



                                           Exhibit A of why Wigan might be in trouble.