Wally with a Brolly

A few months back, we started the Tour de France of the Ligue 1 clubs, to let you get a feel of what French football is like. With the arrival of Cavani and Falcao (amongst others), we thought we'd continue this little tour. Of course, we'll update you with news of Ajaccio, Bastia and Bordeaux (although the latter are mostly unchanged). In the meantime, you can rediscover them by clicking on their links.

Our first step for the return of the Tour is the Haute-Savoie region, in the Alps, with the little-known club of Evian Thonon-Gaillard.

 

Evian TG and their difficult, uninspiring history, captured adequately by their boring, multi-named badge.

Yes, Evian come from the water city. By the way, where is Buxton? Thanks to anyone who comes up with that info.

If I had to compare Evian to a British club, it would be MK Dons. For Evian used to be known as Croix-de-Savoie. Of course, we're not talking about the same kind of pedigree as the famous Dons of the Crazy Gang, but still. That's because Croix-de-Savoie were always languishing in the National (League One) or lower.

And then Franck Riboud, the CEO of Danone, took over in 2007. With him came the small financial support of old French legends (Zidane, Lizarazu and Dugarry), and all of a sudden, we had a club on the up. Finally rebranded as Evian TG (even though the team plays in Annecy), the club embarked on successive promotions from the National to Ligue 1 between 2009 and 2011. Led by the eccentric Bernard Casoni, who kept living in Corsica even though his club was from the Alps (don't ask me how this works...), Evian finished a highly impressive 9th in their first season in the top flight, aided by their combination of Scandinavian imports (Kahlenberg, Wass) and old veterans (Barbosa, Sorlin). Despite a slightly boring game, Evian were efficient, losing against the big teams but competing favourably against the smaller ones.

Casoni: carried Evian to promotions and survival. Just loves Corsica too much. A bizarre situation.

And yet Casoni was relieved of his duties, most notably due to his constant baffling reluctance to relocate and his open conflicts with the club's President. Memo to managers: don't alienate your boss. This advice works in every walk of life by the way.

Desperate for attractive football, the Evian fans (if they exist), unable to recognise their old club, were hoping for an outgoing and enthusiastic manager. They got Pablo Correa instead. Think of the most machine-like manager possible. That's Pablo: no skill permitted in his teams, no imagination. Just pure efficiency. Kind of like a Skoda (by the way, XZibit, what happened?). Am I allowed to compare a football manager to an uninspiring car? You bet I am.





The only problem with Pablo was that he didn't get he results. At all. So Evian turned to their director of football, Pascal Dupraz. An absolute unknown in the world of French football. A man who had never managed and hadn't exactly set the world alight with his signings. But think about it: if you're a president of a football club, don't you want to put the guy who signed all your players on the spot?

Pascal Dupraz: wouldn't you give all football matters away to this man?

To his credit, Dupraz did what was asked of him and secured a third season in Ligue 1. But, with a small budget and no real stars (the mercurial and moody Khlifa having bailed to Marseille), Evian will struggle to last in the top flight.

The problem with Evian TG is that, clearly, no-one cares about them. They don't play attractive football, they don't represent anyone (are they Evian? Thonon? Gaillard? Annecy? All of them?). To recap, they're the fusion of Thonon and Gaillard's clubs, but call themselved Evian and play at Annecy. No wonder no-one watches them or wants to play for them.

In a sense, it is a shame. Despite Danone's careful backing and prudent building on and off the pitch (which should be praised for letting the club grow by itself), and the fact that the team has got to where they are on merit and a real collective identity, Evian are an afterthought and headed for Ligue 2 again. It will take a miracle or some great signings for them to stay up. Uninspiring, they won't be missed. 20th.

The 2013-2014 team. Heading for the drop.

Le Parc des Sports d'Annecy (15,600 seats): not really a temple of football. Also in need of proper fans.

The Veteran: Cedric Barbosa

Cedric is one of those players who just glides through the leagues. A long-time member of the yo-yoing clubs of Montpellier, Troyes and Metz and part-time player at Rennes, Barbosa joined Evian in National in his early thirties in 2009. Now 37, he has just completed his most accomplished Ligue 1 season ever, with 8 goals in 30 games from midfield. An elegant and tidy midfielder with versatility, Barbosa hasemerged as a leader for Evian. His experience of tough times will once again prove valuable.

Barbosa: a valuable veteran of relegation battles.

The Newcomer: Nicolas Benezet

A pocket-sized winger (1m72, 61kgs), Benezet was voted best Ligue 2 player for Nimes by the esteemed magazine France Football last season. Still only 22, he will be asked to carry the creative spark for a club lacking firepower up front. A tall task, but others have done it before him (Ribery, Valbuena). With an eye for goal (16 league goals over the last two seasons), he will have to translate his Ligue 2 form earlier rather than later if Evian are to survive. A lot rests on his adaptation to the bigger stage.

Wally are already massive fans of Benezet's 'style'.