Wally with a Brolly

We return with the traditional Round Table, we're happy to be talking Super Mario, Eden Hazard and we discover somebody truly loves Martin O'Neill. But who doesn't? 

FYI these questions were asked to all the guys before the week-end and the predictions were definitely made before the games were actually played. Some people also replied before the end of deadline day, but we'll have a special round table dedicated to the January Transfer Window. Sorry for the delay.

1- Reading came back from the dead against Chelsea and are now out of the drop zone. Do they have what it takes to stay in the Premier League?

Westy: Probably not unfortunately. Although McDermott's doing a good job, they don't have the quality in my opinion. Le Fondre's scoring a couple of great poached goals for them at the moooment (hello Lawro), but unless Pog starts reproducing his beastly early form for Fulham I just can't see them getting the goals. Carrico looks a decent buy however.


Chaka Demus: Team Le Fondre. He is the next Oli Gunnar Solskjaer. They did NOTHING all game by the looks of the MOTD highlights but they got a point. I think they have a bit of a fight in them but I am still very doubtful that they have the overall talent to stay up.

Le Fondre: he's impressed many but opinions on Reading's survival are bleak.

Cam: Reading have got an unbelievable record of scoring late goals recently and if it can continue, they will stay up. However, it cannot and will not continue and I think they will definitely find themselves in the thick of the relegation scrap. I would quite like to see them stay up as they are a well run club that has laudably shown faith in BMac (*cough Southampton) and has not splashed obscene amounts of cash around (*cough QPR)

Bappo: I don't think they're that great. They basically have a Championship team punching above their weight. But good news for them is that all the teams surrounding them are at least as sh*te as them, if not worse (I'm looking at you Villa). And I do love Brian McDermott: he's calm, he's bald, he's likeable and he's quiet. The man just gets on with his business. I hope they stay up, if only because they're one of the best-run clubs in the land. It'll be toight. Like a tiger.



2- The French Revolution started with a win for Newcastle against Villa. What did you think of Alan Pardew's recent cash splash?

Westy: France is a great hunting ground at the moment due to the cash issues with so many clubs; Moussa Sissoko is someone we had £20m quoted for a couple of months back, and looks a steal at £3m - he's been renowned for ages as a quality box-to-box midfielder. Otherwise, Debuchy is also class - he played seriously well against England and others at Euro 2012, although I don't know much about Mbiwa. I don't think this is as much a coup for Newcastle's scouting as it is other clubs' inability to spot that these players were going cheap. Ridiculo!

Chaka Demus: It was a necessary cash splash and looks to have paid off (admittedly they were playing Villa though).

Cam: Newcastle should have strengthened in the summer. They had a small squad and then when they lost Cabaye to injury and Demba Ba to Chelsea things were pretty desperate. Then their captain Coloccini seemed to want out and the club was in all sorts of trouble. However they have spent wisely and clearly know the French market well. As Pards correctly said, he bought 4 or 5 good quality hungry and athletic French players for the price of Wilfried Zaha. I think their French revolution will continue and they will finish mid-table. Still a long way off the highs of last season though.

Bappo: They desperately needed new players to add depth to the squad. I think they've done even better than that. They've actually bought a lot of talent. I find it kind of funny that Sissoko has been deployed as a number 10. If it worked for Yaya, why not for Moussa?

Moussa: The new Yaya? At £3m, we agree he's a steal.

3- Leighton Baines scored two in mid-week against West Brom. If you were Roy Hodgson, would you pick him ahead of Ashley Cole?

Westy: No. Cash may be a terrible person, but he's still a better left back in terms of all-round consistency. Baines is class in his own right and I think in a season he'll have ousted Cole, but for the moment, it's ahrd to put him ahead of the Chelsea man. Typical England though, can't find a good LM for toffee (Stewart Downing? Ashley Young? We even put Milner there ffs) but have two class LBs...

Chaka Demus: Yes. He has unbelievable sideburns and he actually scores penalties. I'd like to see him and Leon Osman called up for the friendly against Brazil. Also talk on 5 Live during this evening's game of Ricky Lambert getting the nod which would be deserved I think.

Great sideburns, great player. But opinions are divided on his place in the England team.

Cam: Not for me. Ashley Cole is still the better defender. He may be one of the most unpopular Englishmen in football but his ability and consistency cannot really be questioned. Leighton is a top player with a sweet left peg who is having a brilliant season but let's not forget what Ashley has done and won in the game. Ashley's international and European experience is also invaluable and is something that Leighton Baines can only dream of.

Bappo: No. Cashley fits the Hodgson wing back mould perfectly: he's a great defender and he doesn't bomb forward too much. And he's got the experience, he's been there before. Even though he's still a bit of a c**t. But Leighton is putting a lot of pressure. He's been incredible this season again.

Cashley: we're fans of his game. Not fans of the man though.

4- QPR got a good draw at home against Man City. They're now only 4 points behind 17th and are definitely signing a few players, maybe Samba and Crouch. What do you make of Redknapp's potential signings, and will that save them?

Westy: Everyone knows my thoughts on 'Arry, and QPR must be hoping that his dog's been signing his contracts for him! Having come in and lambasted the wages paid to Bosingwa (£60k a week) - admittedly ridiculous - he was absurdly quick to sign Remy on £80k and Samba on £105k! I really, really, really want them to go down, but I'd feel gutted if 'Arry bankrupts another club. Bring back Mark Hughes?

Chaka Demus: I don't think they need Samba because Nelsen and Clint Hill (what a beauty) are doing a sterling job at the back for them but Peter Crouch has 'elped 'Arry out before and isn't getting all that much time at Stoke. I don't see how he and Remy would play together though. The key man for QPR at the moment is Julio Cesar - the man is unbelievable.

Cam: QPR are frankly marmite. Either you love what they are doing or you hate them!  I personally applaud Redknapp's and Fernandes's ambition. They have got cojones! The club was in a mess paying top money to players with big reputations that they weren't justifying on the pitch (Bosingwa, Green, Granero, Park). 'Arry has made some good changes (getting rid of Anton Ferdinand for one) and seems to be giving it a real go. It would still be miraculous if they can escape the drop but with players like Samba, Julio Cesar, Remy...it is starting to look possible. I think good luck to them; it is definitely intriguing for us punters to watch this saga unfold. I just hope that 'Arry and Fernandes don't both jump ship and leave them facing bankruptcy if they do get relegated.

Fernandes: he's got cojones.

Bappo: Yawn. 'Arry is so unimaginative it's unbelievable. I'm expecting bids for Defoe, Kranjcar, Dawson and maybe the return of Corluka while we're at it. Do they need certain players? Ideally they need a whole new team where all the players know each other already. But that doesn't exist. They do need to buy a centre back probably, because Ryan Nelsen has done the sensible thing and has bailed. I don't blame him. I'm also pissed off at their decision to get rid of Faurlin. He's their only ball playing midfielder with Granero (now sitting on the bench). I know where this is heading. It's not gonna be pretty football at QPR.

5- If you could pick one player to start your Premier League Team, who would it be?

Westy: Yaya Toure would be my main building block as he adds so much dynamism to any team. Yes, he's not had the best season, but in terms of dominating the middle of the park, there's no one better.

Chaka Demus: Frank Lampard.

Some manlove for Frank from Chaka Demus. Ergo the dedicated Michael Buble-style autograph.

Cam: Best PL player? At the moment RVP is the MVP. Still can't believe "Le Prof" decided to sell his best player to his fiercest rivals. Incroyable Jeff! Sacré Bleu!

Bappo: Vincent Kompany any day. Great defender, great leader, great man. I'm guessing we've only heard snippets of what Super Mario did at the club. And that's down to Kompany. He's unflappable. He'd be my captain and leader.

6- It might be a bit old, but with Chelsea appealing for clemency from the FA, what do you make of the Hazard shenanigans? And what have you made of his season?

Westy: Actually don't think Eden did that much wrong - the ball boy is clearly a spoilt brat who eyed his 15 seconds. In the late stages of the game you're supposed to win, when nothing's going right, you can't blame him for trying to get the kid to do his job and give the ball back. It's just another pathetic example of this wriggling around on the floor rubbish. What a tit.

Hazard: not as bad as this, but the "ballboy" certainly made it look like it.

Hazard started brilliantly but has faded equally quickly - Chelsea's Three Amigos just hasn't worked as people thought it would. Obviously they just need to buy some more players - that usually solves it...

Chaka Demus: It was hilarious. The kid's expression afterwards was just priceless. He was so obviously not injured in any way it was a joke. Having said that, it was a stupid thing to do and a red card was deserved given the action itself. 3 games is easily enough. I think he has been exceptional. Oscar has been a bit of a disappointment though.

Cam: Hazard was in the wrong and deservedly got a 3 match ban. But come on that "ballboy" was a disgrace. Lying on the ball, wasting time, mocking Hazard, not doing his job and feigning injury! And then it turns out that he is a 17 year old wannabe gangster son of a Swansea director and heir to a multi-million pound fortune!! Think Swansea need to change their ballboy policy. Embarrassing.

As for Hazard's season, the boy has got a lot of talent and he more than showed that at the start of the season. However recently he has tended to go missing in some important games but he is a class act that's for sure.

Bappo: 3 game ban is already way too much. I don't condone violence, but that wasn't really violence. The 'boy' (he's freaking 17!) was a wimp. He made 2004 Didier Drogba look like a warrior. A red card is enough in my book, especially as Terry only got 4 games for racially abusing Anton Ferdinand. I'd also like to make an appeal for a lifetime ban for the ball boy. Seriously. What a disgrace. Kid deserved a good kicking. As for Hazard, he's been hit and miss. More hit than miss, but he's been a bit inconsistent. That's to be expected from his first season. He's one hell of a talent though so I'm not worried for him.

You're 17, you're a ballboy and you're a wimp. You're a disgrace.

7- No more Super Mario Balotelli. Will you miss him? And who will replace him as the Premier League's main mischief man?

Westy: No. He became annoying a long time ago. New bad boy will probably be Luke Shaw, who's going to start attacking cripples, raiding the homeless and stealing Sir Alex's pension. You heard it here first.

Luke Shaw: a candidate for the position of future douche bag/bad boy. Westy's done his research.

Chaka Demus: I will not miss him at all and am happy we will no longer have to hear about his boring sh*t chat and behaviour. He was an overrated, firework-wielding, cash-throwing, gaffer-fighting, press conference-interrupting, attention-seeking muppet who never did anything to impress me. Next mischief man will be Giorgios Karagounis.

Cam: Not really. He needs to play more football so hopefully the "bad apple" settles at AC Milan and starts to fulfil his potential. New bad boy - Luis Suarez.

Suarez: Cam's contender for Super Mario's succession. A good nominee with a great pedigree.

Bappo: I'm not going to miss the made-up stories about him or the press's fascination for Mario. It was getting too much for me. What I will miss is just the sheer unpredictability that surrounded him whenever he entered the pitch. Was he going to score a blinder? Was he going to get a red card within two minutes of game time? You just never knew what you were going to get with Mario. Damn that was entertaining! And that T-shirt. Classic. New mischief man? I'm hoping it will be David 'Sideshow Bob' Luiz. He's got all the necessary qualities for the job.

8- Wigan - Southampton at the week-end. Which players have impressed you the most for each of these relegation candidates?

Westy: Puncheon has done really well at Soton, not only to work his way back into the fold, but to cement a starting place and score a few crackers. Lallana has also been really good for them and they haven't reaped what they deserved this season. As for Wigan, Kone was a handful at the start of the season - they'll miss him a lot. Maybe Di Santo can now break his 5 goals a season barrier...

Chaka Demus: Sean Maloney is a very tidy little player even though he looks like one of the pikeys from Snatch. Adam Lallana or Ricky Lambert for Saints. They (Saints as a whole) were very impressive against Man Utd - committing a lot of people forward which is a bold move at Old Trafford. I still think the Adkins sacking was a disgrace though.

Cam: Starting with the Wigan Boyce (see what I did there?!) I like Gomez and I was a big fan of Ivan Ramis until he got injured (mainly for THAT goal). At Southampton, Lallana, Lambert, Puncheon and Ramirez.

Bappo: You mean, apart from Emerson Boyce, scorer of great goals? I'm a fan of James McCarthy at Wigan. He's a good ball playing midfielder and should play for a better club. As for Southampton, I love Maya Yoshida. Simply because he's so utterly rubbish. In all seriousness, I'm going to nominate Morgan Schneiderlin. He's a young holding mid who does a lot of work for a side which considers defending to be a chore rather than a duty.

There's a lot of love for Emmerson Boyce.

9- Sunderland have slowly made their way back up the table. How do you rate them? How high can they finish, and what do you think of Martin O'Neill?

Westy: It's been tough for Martin but, to be fair, the squad is poor. When Sessegnon, your second striker, doesn't score in 22 games, things are looking pretty grim. Graham should be a good signing though, as should N'Diaye, and I'd expect them to finish 12th-13th.

Chaka Demus: Let me start with Martin. What a lovely man. I would like him to read me bedtime stories. As for Sunderland - they work hard and are a well-organised team but I wouldn't go out of my way to watch them. They are not an exciting team to watch. They'll finish at the top of the bottom half I think.

Cam: Sunderland have turned a corner and now they have bought Danny Graham to take some of the goalscoring pressure away from Fletcher things should continue to improve. I think they'll stay up but will find themselves towards the bottom of the table. Martin O'Neill has definitely struggled this season.

Danny Graham: he should help Sunderland. They're still boring though.

Bappo: They rank just behind Stoke in terms of boring play. I don't understand why, because they've got some pretty nifty players in Johnson (overrated), Sessegnon and Larsson. And I always enjoy watching Craig Gardner play. The man just hates the simple 5 yard pass but loves a good shot. Martin O'Neill is my hero. Why is he at a dump like Sunderland? He's a great motivator. But please lose the tracksuits and wear a freaking suit Martin. You're not 30 anymore.

10- England vs Brazil on the 6th February. What are you looking forward to in this match?

Westy: 7-4 England. Come on, when has this prediction failed me yet?

Chaka Demus: Just a good game of entertaining football. I really don't care if we get a result or not. Maybe see Wilf Zaha get a bit more time than he did against Sweden?

Cam: Classic mashup of football styles and cultures. I've got a lot of time for Brazilians...

Bappo: Ronaldinho looking fat and uninterested until he casually merks Steven Gerrard with an outrageous touch/dribble/anything. Other than that, maybe see Neymar play. Or David Luiz just doing what David Luiz does.


LAS PREDICTIONES DEL WEEK-END

QPR vs Norwich
Chaka Demus (1-1), Cam (2-1), Westy (1-1), Bappo (1-1)

Newcastle vs Chelsea 
Chaka Demus (1-2), Cam (1-2), Westy (1-3), Bappo (2-2)

Everton vs Aston Villa
Chaka Demus (2-0), Cam (2-1), Westy (3-1), Bappo (2-0)

Arsenal vs Stoke
Chaka Demus (0-0), Cam (2-0), Westy (2-1), Bappo (0-0)

West Ham vs Swansea 
Chaka Demus (2-2), Cam (2-1), Westy (1-1), Bappo (1-1)

Reading vs Sunderland
Chaka Demus (2-1), Cam (2-1), Westy (1-1), Bappo (1-2)

Wigan vs Southampton
Chaka Demus (2-3), Cam (2-1), Westy (2-2), Bappo (2-1)

Fulham vs Manchester United
Chaka Demus (1-3), Cam (0-2), Westy (1-2), Bappo (2-0 come on you Whites!)

West Brom vs Tottenham
Chaka Demus (2-4), Cam (1-2), Westy (1-2), Bappo (1-1)

Manchester City vs Liverpool 
Chaka Demus (3-3), Cam (3-1), Westy (1-2 SHOCKER!), Bappo (1-1)