Wally with a Brolly

Euros are always a good footballing proposition due to the geographical proximity of the teams involved. This always means that we are guaranteed a few rivalries or grudge matches during any European tournament, and this version hasn't disappointed.

France-England has always been a competitive rivalry based on a love/hate relationship between the two countries. The English always secretly admire the French for their culture and food. The French secretly admire the English because they created football and stood up to the Nazis. Yes, I'm dealing in stereotypes, but we all know this is true.

So when the two teams meet, it obviously always means something more, but in a playful, banter sort of way. The French hate nothing more than losing to the arrogant English whilst the English hate nothing more than losing to the pompous French. We all love each other in the end though.

Russia-Poland has never been a competitive rivalry. It's always been a true grudge match based on the common History between the two countries. Centuries of discord and atrocities between Russia and Poland have meant that there is no love lost between fans of each country. More so than Ukraine and its schizophrenic uncertain identity, Poland has always hated Russia. And Russia has always enjoyed bullying little Poland.

You could tell this rivalry had deeply rooted origins when we witnessed the violence between both sets of fans prior to the game. The football match was secondary. It was Poland vs Russia on a grander scale. In footballing terms this fixture has never had particular relevance and never been a rivalry. It's always been about something more than football.

Germany-Holland is a mixture of both previously-mentioned rivalries.

It is of course competitive, as evidenced by the numerous incidents between the teams over the years.

The 1974 World Cup final was thus meant to be a consecration of Total Football, and Dutch arrogance resembled Hungarian confidence from 1954. In both cases, no-one told the Germans about the pre-approved script, and certainly the 1974 West Germany team deserved more credit, as it possessed two fine players in Beckenbauer and Muller. For this reason both sets of fans still have a feeling of unease over that final: the Germans for never having been considered worthy winners by neutrals, and the Holland for, well, losing the final.

Beckenbauer beating Cruyff: something we tend to forget

The 1988 Euro semi-final was also overshadowed by the actions of Ronald Koeman at the end of the game. Swapping shirts with Germany's Mr Nice Guy Olaf Thon, Koeman pretended to wipe his pale Dutch arse over it. This was unashamed provocation from one of Holland's finest players of the time. What's more, the fact Olaf Thon was the victim made it even worse, as he was the most likeable and classy players Germany had (as evidenced by the fact he agreed to swap his shirt at the end of the game).

Not your best moment Ronald.

That West Germany team was full of absolute douche-bags, and Koeman picked Olaf Thon. We wouldn't have been so aggrieved if he had wiped his arse with Matthaus's shirt, that would have been nice. But not Olaf Thon. It was unashamed bullying from Koeman, and the lack of dignity in victory was shocking.
It also overshadowed a good game of football between two really fine teams once again competing at the highest international level.

Matthaus: we're guessing we'd be laughing if Koeman had wiped his arse on that douche-bag's shirt. A better target than Olaf Thon.

Finally, the World Cup 1990 quarter-final between the two teams was once again full of fire. Both teams were part of the favourites to lift the World Cup, and many knew that the winner of this game would have great chances of going through and winning the whole damn thing.
Once again the Dutch didn't cover themselves in glory, with Frank Rijkaard spitting an outrageous amount of gob into Rudi Voller's hair.
Now don't get me wrong. Voller's hair was so ridiculous it deserved someone or something to wake the German from his hair-related coma and make him take drastic action. I'm just not sure spitting in it twice was the best option.
Once again, the actions of certain players made us forget that these were two great teams fighting for the World Cup.

What's more ridiculous: the obscene amount of spit or both men's hairstyles? We're not sure either.

So we know that this rivalry has always been competitive. It also has always had Historical repercussions based on WWII (what else?). No need to expand here, but the Dutch have been pretty slow in forgiving the Germans. We could tell it still hurt them when they turned up at the 2006 World Cup wearing 'We want our bicycles back!' shirts, a clear reference to the Wehrmacht's decision to confiscate all bikes at one point.

The source of so much tension between Dutch and Germans. We tend to simplify things.

(On a sidenote, the BBC coverage of that rivalry was, for once, spot on. I particularly enjoyed that random German fan's remark of 'We haven't won anything for 16 years and haven't even been to a final for...what...48 months!'.)

So there we were. Germany-Holland. The two beaten finalists of the last two major international tournaments, going face-to-face in a game with particularly distasteful history. It was the first real clash of Euro 2012. And it didn't disappoint.


          HOW THEY LINED UP

GERMANY: Why change a winning team? This was surely what Joachim Low was thinking, as he put out the same team that had beaten Portugal. Germany had perfect balance: a good ball-playing defence, and efficient and creative midfield and a potent strikeforce. This was the simplest decision Low ever had to make, and it came as no surprise that he put his faith in players he knew inside-out. Podolski in particular could be grateful: his performance in the first game hadn't particularly set the world alight, and whilst I was hoping to catch a glimpse of Gotze, Schurrle or Reus, Low's decision was vindicated.


HOLLAND: 'Why change a winning team?' was also probably Van Marwijk's thinking. Except they hadn't won their first game, so it wasn't technically a winning team. The Dutch coach, however, hadn't forgotten that these were the players that had taken Holland to the World Cup Final (to the exception of Willems) and had qualified brilliantly for the Euros.

People had been calling for the introduction of Van der Vaart over Van Bommel in central midfield. VdV's technical and passing brilliance, combined with De Jong's tenacity and fighting spirit (and legs...Van Bommel is slooooow), would be enough to control the midfield. Or so people thought. But Holland had looked vulnerable with both Van Bommel and De Jong against Denmark. Surely Van Marwijk wasn't going to let any gaps for Ozil and co to exploit. And let's just say VdV isn't the best at tracking his man, or simply at tracking back.
Van Marwijk went for the safe option, but let us not forget two things as well:
 
    1. Van Bommel is Van Marwijk's son-in-law. Are you going to create a rift in the family? What if Van Marwijk wants to see his grandchildren in the future? People are so inconsiderate of the potential repercussions on Van Marwijk's family of dropping Van Bommel.

Van Bommel's children: one reason for his continued inclusion in the Dutch team.

    2. Van Bommel is Holland's captain. Only Denmark don't play their team captain. But he's Christian Poulsen. And he's rubbish.

Of course both teams played in a 4-2-3-1. Because is there another formation being used at the moment in big games? I didn't think so either.


          THE GAME ITSELF
Once again, we'll go for observations and conclusions rather than an actual recap of the game.

* This was a game of ego vs team ethic. The Dutch have often been blighted by the egotistical nature of their big players. Think Edgar Davids (arrogant Edgar? Surely not) being sent home at Euro 96 for being a tool. Think of any team having Arjen Robben in its rank. And of course Huntelaar made it clear he was sulking like a big baby. Difficult to have cohesion when you care more about yourself than the team. Germany, on the other hand, is a team patiently built over the last few years, with players knowing exactly their roles and sticking to them. This is what makes them scary good. And this is why Mario Gomez didn't cry like a baby when he got subbed (denying him a hat-trick) whilst Robben threw his shirt (the equivalent of handing in a resignation letter whilst going on an expletive-filled rant directed at your hierarchical superior) and walked off steaming despite producing nothing whatsoever.

* There is no better left-back in the world than Philip Lahm. Only Ashley Cole is his equal. Lahm not only had Robben in his back pocket all game, he was also a willing runner and didn't misplace a single pass all game. A great player.

* Are we genuinely surprised that Holland are that bad? They were clearly split into a defensive unit (the back 7) and an attacking unit (Robben, Sneijder, Van Persie and Afellay). Germany, on the other hand, have midfielders in Khedira and Schweinsteiger who fulfill both defensive and attacking duties brilliantly. Germany are a very fluid team.

* Is that the best back 4 Holland can muster? A decent right-back, two centre backs who don't play for any elite teams in Europe (sorry Everton and Malaga) and an 18-year old left-back who has played the grand total of 45 games for PSV! That will never be enough at international level, even though they did get to the World Cup final. Put that back 4 in the Premier League or SPain and they would be torn apart.

* Speaking of being torn apart, Jetro Willems really showed his age yesterday. How can I tell? Thomas Muller is not a natural winger. He's not the fastest and doesn't have the greatest touch. He does, however, have a footballing brain. This was highlighted by the number of times he got past or in behind Willems yesterday. The young Dutch left-back had a nightmare of a first half. I'm guessing it didn't help that Afellay was utterly disinterested in tracking back and helping him out. Cheers Ibrahim.

Willems struggling to contain Muller: Welcome to international football Jetro!

* Can we stop referring to players based on one game we've seen them play all season? Yes Mario Gomez had a bad game in the Champions' League final. Yes, he had been poor at Euro 2008, which was the last time any BBC commentator watched him play. There is no doubting he is world class though. His two goals were brilliantly taken. Gomez has the Ibrahimovic syndrome in the BBC's commentators' eyes: doesn't play well when we watch him, so must be totally rubbish. Do your homework boys. Both are world-class players infinitely better than any English striker bar Rooney.

* It sounds simple, but people need to stop giving Schweinsteiger so much time or he will destroy you. Need I say more? He had two assists yesterday, never panicked in possession and was the metronome of his team. Spotless performance by one of the best midfielders in the world.

* I know I am going to get slated for this, but Schweinsteiger is the type of player Steven Gerrard could have been. Don't get me wrong, Gerrard was world-class and one of the best number 10s in the world. But when you see Schweini's tactical awareness and desire to never shirk his defensive duties, it makes you wonder whether Gerrard could have been as complete. Schweinsteiger is the complete centre midfielder. Gerrard could have been had he not been asked to play a bit higher up the pitch and if he hadn't picked up bad habits. England could have done with a player of Schweinsteiger's ilk, and Gerrard definitely could have been that player.

* Are people still wondering why Khedira was signed by Real and plays in all the big games? An absolute tour-de-force yesterday by Sami. He was everywhere, defensively and offensively.

* Mats Hummels has flown under the radar but he is a great centre back. Good with the ball at his feet, never panicks. Only made one mistake yesterday in the first half. There won't be many more. Look out for him during the rest of Euro 2012.

* Ozil just finds space. A superb Number 10. No need to add anything really.

* If there is one Dutch player whose desire and enthusiasm you can't doubt, it's Wesley Sneijder. He's the only Dutch player who lived up to his name yesterday, constantly probing the German defence, and showing a bit of fire and the same time. Doesn't deserve to head home so early. An outstanding player.

* How can I tell Van Persie is stressed? He rushes when he plays for the Netherlands, and forgets to bring other players into play. A good goal nonetheless. But he'll be disappointed with his performance.

* Holland only started becoming dangerous once Van Persie played the Number 10 role. RVP is a great striker but he was not playing on the shoulders of the last defenders, and nobody was getting into the box. We've seen the same problem with Spain and France in this tournament.

* This is probably the end of Van Bommel. Can't say we'll miss him.

* On a sidenote, I for once enjoyed Lawrenson's punditry. The reason? He kept things to a minimum, and was at his acerbic best. Jonathan Pearce on the other hand? Talks too much. We get it Jonathan, you love the Dutch fans' singing, everybody has been nice to you in Ukraine, and the cities are surprisingly lovely. Can we get back to the football please?


          PLAYER RATINGS

GERMANY

NEUER: Dealt with everything thrown his way, which wasn't much. Not to blame for Van Persie's goal. 6/10

BOATENG: A bit wasteful with the ball, but held his own in a right-back role he doesn't particularly appreciate. Started to find it tough once Sneijder drifted onto the left. 6/10

HUMMELS: Apart from a lazy mistake at the start when he let a long ball fall into the path of Van Persie, the Dortmund man put up an accomplished performance. Was turned on Van Persie's goal, but he's not the first and only defender who's suffered that ignominy. Was calm when Holland threatened. A confident tackle in the box on Van Persie. A solid performance. 7/10

BADSTUBER: Underrated centre back who put another solid performance. The young man has progressed immensely since being trusted with the centre-back role at both club and international levels. Didn't put a foot wrong. 7/10

LAHM: What can we say about the German captain? Clearly relished the opportunity to face Robben, and was never in any danger against the Dutch winger. Always ideally placed, and offered great support going forward. The usual from Lahm, which says a lot about his abilities. 9/10

Sensational

KHEDIRA: A complete performance. A great understanding with Schweinsteiger as to who drops and who bombs forward. Provided a physical presence and didn't misplace a lot of passes. Very underrated. 8/10

SCHWEINSTEIGER: A maestro performance (Remember Didier Zokora? His middle name is Maestro. Couldn't be further from the truth!). Probably didn't misplace a single pass, didn't shirk his defensive responsibilities, and had two assists. The complete midfielder. 9/10

Schweinsteiger getting the better of Sneijder. A complete performance from the German

MULLER: Tormented young Willems with his clever runs and use of the ball. Does a lot of unrecognised work, such as helping out Boateng defensively. Impressive, especially considering right-wing isn't his preferred position. 7/10
Replaced by Sven Bender. Great name, and mastered the run-down-the-line-to-waste-time move. Did exactly what he was asked to do.

PODOLSKI: Not the best of performances again from Lukas, which should worry Arsenal fans. But his pedigree is enough, even though I wished we could have caught a glimpse of Mario Gotze. A player you can trust to follow instructions though. 5/10

OZIL: A silky touch, and an innate ability to find space. Ozil bamboozled Van Bommel and De Jong with his running between the lines. Lacked a bit of end product but always looked dangerous. Put a shift in for the team. 7/10
Replaced by Kroos, who simply helped shore up the midfield.

GOMEZ: Probably had about 2 touches in the game and scored both. Lethal. Reminds me of Van Nistelrooy. 8/10
Replaced by Klose, who had great energy and pressurised Mathijsen into silly mistakes. Gave Stekelenburg a fright with his endless running. A good cameo. 7/10


HOLLAND

STEKELENBURG: Nearly gifted Klose a ridiculous goal. Maybe dived early on Gomez's second goal. Otherwise didn't actually have much to do. 5/10

VAN DER WIEL: Weak defensively, and didn't bring much going forward. Wasn't helped in any way by Robben, who refused to track back and to pass the ball. 4/10

HEITINGA: There is a reason the big scary Dutchman has never played or been linked with one of the big European clubs. A limited centre-back at this level, he was in trouble all game long. To be fair to him, he wasn't much helped by his team-mates' refusal to help defensively. Kept going to the end though. 4/10

MATHIJSEN: Came back from injury and looked rusty. Obviously better than Vlaar (not difficult) but still looked weak. It doesn't help his stock that an ageing Ooijer was preferred at the World Cup, which shows how little faith the Dutch have in Mathijsen. And this lack of faith was justified. Out of his depth. 4/10

WILLEMS: A boy playing alongside men. Was repeatedly torn apart in the first half, and his positioning was more than suspect. Did OK in the second half, but Germany were coasting by then. Showed his naivety many times in the way he used the ball. 2/10

VAN BOMMEL: Slow both in his tracking and with the ball at his feet. Brst forward in the first half, which surprised everyone watching, including the Germans. Anonymous. 2/10
Replaced by Van der Vaart, who brought a little bit more fluidity to the Dutch midfield. Not great defensively though. 5/10

DE JONG: Played his socks off. Not there to distribute, and it shows, but he kept going and produced an outstanding last-ditch tackle on Ozil in the second half. You can't doubt his commitment to the cause. One of the few Dutch players to deserve better. And it hurts to type that sentence, as it's still De Jong. 6/10

AFELLAY: Completely anonymous. Didn't help out Willems one bit, and I honestly forgot he was on the pitch. Produced nothing, and was rightly subbed at half-time. 2/10
Replaced by Huntelaar, who's just like Gomez: not the best at holding the ball up, but lethal if given the chance. The difference with Gomez is that Huntelaar didn't score and, in that case, his contribution is borderline meaningless. His introduction did help to free Van Persie a little bit, but that's not really what was asked of him. 3/10

ROBBEN: Petulant, inefficient. Was completely dominated by Lahm. An infuriating player. Blessed with superb technical ability, he too often made the wrong decisions. A great player when it works, but it didn't work for him yesterday, and his  individualism then becomes a major hindrance to the team. A shameful exit as well. 3/10
Replaced by Kuyt, who I'm not sure actually touched the ball. A typical 2012 Dirk Kuyt cameo.

Robben: petulant, useless, rubbish, egotistical

SNEIJDER: Deserved better. Was always creative, and took matters in his own hands (or feet) when he realised his team-mates gave up. A sublime shot just past the post. Willing to sacrifice for the team when he drifted wide to let Van Persie play in the hole. His reputation will not diminish after this Euro. 7/10

Sneijder: a superb effort in a losing encounter

VAN PERSIE: An inefficient first half despite good intentions. He never tried to run behind the defenders, which explained their ease in dealing with him, as well as Holland's static attack. The introduction of Huntelaar allowed him to play in the hole, and he came to life a little it. A good goal which helps save his game. Otherwise disappointing. 5/10