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Friday, 21 September 2012
The World Class Tag and the Futility of Jamie Redknapp
10:00 | 
Posted by
Bappo |
As I was watching the Champions' League goals on Sky Sports, anchored by the wonderful 'I wish you were my dad' Jeff Stelling, a discussion between Graeme Souness, Ruud Gullit and Jamie Redknapp struck me as particularly interesting. It related to Eden Hazard, Oscar and the tag of world class we hand out to players.
Before I go further in-depth, let me first of all establish that Sky Sports manage to combine the thoughtful with the futile.
Whilst I never particularly enjoyed Graeme Souness's time as manager of various clubs and found him to be a dour figure, he has often been pinpoint in his accurate analysis of football events. Even more interestingly, the ex-Liverpool manager is not afraid to put his point across in a dignified yet firm manner. Roy Keane, take note.
Ruud Gullit, the best of the three pundits when they were all players, also provided a better-than-usual opinionated point of view, particularly in his stinging and valid criticism of Zabaleta's defending on Ronaldo in the dying minutes of the Real Madrid- Manchester City game. The Dutchman, despite the absence of his legendary dreadlocks, managed to express his solid views with a good sense of humour and a non-arrogant sense of being right due to his distinguished footballing past.
The discussions between Souness and Gullit were particularly interesting due to the divergence of views, especially when Souness played his usual gruffy role by insisting on not acknowledging Oscar's touch that led to his wonder goal. It was a magnificent to and fro between two recognised football men. It was punditry at its finest, which left me wondering why ITV keep insisting on ignorant pundits like Keano, Southgate and Dixon. Of course the least said about Adrian Chiles the better.
So Sky Sports were doing well and then it all came back to Jamie Redknapp. Now, before I start my stinging criticism of 'Arry's son, let me first of all say that I hold no grudges against the man. I find him to be an articulate, likeable guy (man knows how to wear a suit) and actually thought he used to be a class player whose career was sadly dogged by injuries. I even loved his polite embarrassment and good guy reaction when Richard Keys made his cringing references to his personal life.
But the boy Redknapp is no good pundit. Not only does he tend to be afflicted by Sheareritis ("it's a good run by the striker, he takes a good touch, has a good shot and that's a quality finish') but the guy doesn't seem to do his homework. I might be particularly picky, but there is nothing more annoying to me than pundits who get the basics wrong. So when Souness had a massive go at Barcelona's defence and their mistake at not signing a central defender during the summer, Jamie thought he'd add something by telling us that the only defender they bought was that boy...the left-back who played for Spain....who they signed from Villareal over the summer....oh that's right, Jordi Alba. The hesitation would have been tolerated (after all, we can all have a brain freeze) had it not simply been wrong. Jordi Alba signed from Valencia. Get it right Jamie.
OK, so after this lengthy discussion on pundits and the futility of Jamie Redknapp who was (thankfully) quiet for the rest of the night anyway (who needs 3 pundits???), let me get back to the point raised by Souness.
'World class' is a hard tag to live up to, and one which has to be earned. In my opinion very few players deserve that appreciation and so it should be. Souness rightly claimed that you need consistency and ability at the highest level for a certain number of years to qualify for that trademark. The Scot wasn't being dismissive of Hazard and Oscar's talent but he was right in saying that destroying Wigan (and failing to do so against QPR) does not qualify you as world class.
In my view there is another factor which needs to be taken into account. To be world class, a player needs to have the ability to lead his time by the scruff of its neck. Remember when Zidane single-handedly won the Champions' League for Real and Euro 2000 for France (when he was at his peak)? The man was world class then. Was he world class when he scored two goals in the 1998 final? Not yet, because he had failed to lead the French team through, getting sent off against Saudi Arabia in the group stage and missing the Denmark and Paraguay games.
Was Steven Gerrard world class? You bet he was (notice the use of the past tense)! The man single-handedly drove Liverpool back from the brink of extinction in the Champions' League final against AC Milan and, during the run to the final, was instrumental in scoring vital goals despite playing in a distinctly average side (Igor Biscan and Neil Mellor. Enough said), most notably against Olympiakos, which left us with the best bit of commentator's reaction until Gaz Neville's climax for the Torres goal against Barcelona.
Of course honours aren't the only factor in determining whether a player is world class. Sometimes leadership is shared equally among the team and the talent is so incredibly present that it'd be foolish to not acknowledge it. This is why we can safely say Ronaldo, Figo and others in that Real Madrid team were world class. Which is why we can say that Claude Makelele, for revolutionising a position, was world class. But Pavon and Helguera? No thanks.
Of course the world class label has a very subjective aspect to it. Two English players are perfect examples of that subjectivity.
Let's start with David Beckham. The man undoubtedly had a world class skill in the way he crossed the ball. It was beautiful, it was unlike anything anyone had ever done. It was consistently excellent and he did deliver....once against Greece in the World Cup qualifiers. Apart from that, was Goldenballs world class? I personally disagree. The man was without question a good player. World class? No sir-ee. Becks never led a team to glory. He was a consistently good performer in 1999 but that team depended on collective excellence, with inspiration from Schmeichel, Keane, Scholes, Giggs and toughness from Stam. Becks? Not a leader, just a good player.
Similarly, Beckham managed to 'lead' England's most talented team for decades to years of under-achievement. Yes I'm talking about World Cups 2002 to 2006, with an incredibly frustrating Euro 2004 in-between. Sure he wasn't helped by Sven and the other players' lack of accountability for their very own failures (Stevie G, can you NOT pass it back to Henry please?). But Becks was also notable in his numerous failures at the highest level. Of course I'm talking about penalty misses people. What else?
Even at Real Madrid the man was no leader. Granted he wasn't helped by a condescending dressing-room and coaches who didn't really value him during his time there. But the man wasn't leading an unbalanced side to excellence. He was second fiddle.
So am I harsh when looking back at Sir Beckham (as he will undoubtedly become known) and his distinguished career? You bet I am. But was he world class? Not in my view.
Now let's look at a more recent English player. Let's have a look at Wayne Rooney. Just like Beckham, but perhaps even more so, talent isn't in question. Rooney is, on his day (and that's a statement which needs to be added), a very good creative player. He has displayed tremendous technical ability and scored goals at the highest level.
But is he truly world class?
Once again I'd like to voice my personal objections. Sure the boy has won many honours, but has he ever led his team to these trophies? His petulance clearly doesn't make him stand out as a leader, but it's also interesting to note that he has never been the main man for Manchester United. His Champions' League win was inspired by Ronaldo's excellence and key contributions from Van der Sar, Ferdinand-Vidic, Scholes and others.
Was Rooney ever the main man? Did he ever save Manchester United in the same way Gerrard did for Liverpool?
Of course it's easier to look best when you're the big fish in a small pond, as Gerrard has nearly always been at Liverpool. But Stevie G's performances in that run were also helped by superb football from Luis Garcia, Xabi Alonso, Jamie Carragher and Jerzy Dudek. He wasn't entirely alone but still managed to constantly push the team higher.
Did we ever see Rooney do that for Manchester United? We're seeing it again with RVP's presence as the alpha dog despite Rooney's childish reactions and claims to the contrary. And, of course, the least said about Rooney's distinctly unimpressive England career the better.
Let me set this straight though. Despite my personal dislike of the burly striker, there is also no shame in playing second fiddle to very talented players. It's not a criticism of Rooney's talent, nor was it of Beckham's. It's a criticism of their personality. Their submissive side is, for me, what separates these very good players from ever attaining that world class tag.
The Americans and NBA followers call the supremely good players 'franchise players' because they are the face of their team and their unquestioned leader on the court. Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant now, and Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson and Larry bird in their prime are and were 'franchise players'. Of course it's easier to be designated as such when there are only 5 players on the court.
But tell me, would you call Rooney, Beckham, Hazard and many others 'franchise players'?
This is not a criticism of many players' talent. This is just a simple wish: that we use the world class tag with parcimony and after years of excellence. Then we can truly distinguish the players that make us dream. Then we can truly recognise them for their impact.
Before I go further in-depth, let me first of all establish that Sky Sports manage to combine the thoughtful with the futile.
Whilst I never particularly enjoyed Graeme Souness's time as manager of various clubs and found him to be a dour figure, he has often been pinpoint in his accurate analysis of football events. Even more interestingly, the ex-Liverpool manager is not afraid to put his point across in a dignified yet firm manner. Roy Keane, take note.
Ruud Gullit, the best of the three pundits when they were all players, also provided a better-than-usual opinionated point of view, particularly in his stinging and valid criticism of Zabaleta's defending on Ronaldo in the dying minutes of the Real Madrid- Manchester City game. The Dutchman, despite the absence of his legendary dreadlocks, managed to express his solid views with a good sense of humour and a non-arrogant sense of being right due to his distinguished footballing past.
 |
| Memo to Ruud: please come back to that look. |
The discussions between Souness and Gullit were particularly interesting due to the divergence of views, especially when Souness played his usual gruffy role by insisting on not acknowledging Oscar's touch that led to his wonder goal. It was a magnificent to and fro between two recognised football men. It was punditry at its finest, which left me wondering why ITV keep insisting on ignorant pundits like Keano, Southgate and Dixon. Of course the least said about Adrian Chiles the better.
So Sky Sports were doing well and then it all came back to Jamie Redknapp. Now, before I start my stinging criticism of 'Arry's son, let me first of all say that I hold no grudges against the man. I find him to be an articulate, likeable guy (man knows how to wear a suit) and actually thought he used to be a class player whose career was sadly dogged by injuries. I even loved his polite embarrassment and good guy reaction when Richard Keys made his cringing references to his personal life.
 |
| The man can wear a suit. Shame about the lack of football knowledge. |
But the boy Redknapp is no good pundit. Not only does he tend to be afflicted by Sheareritis ("it's a good run by the striker, he takes a good touch, has a good shot and that's a quality finish') but the guy doesn't seem to do his homework. I might be particularly picky, but there is nothing more annoying to me than pundits who get the basics wrong. So when Souness had a massive go at Barcelona's defence and their mistake at not signing a central defender during the summer, Jamie thought he'd add something by telling us that the only defender they bought was that boy...the left-back who played for Spain....who they signed from Villareal over the summer....oh that's right, Jordi Alba. The hesitation would have been tolerated (after all, we can all have a brain freeze) had it not simply been wrong. Jordi Alba signed from Valencia. Get it right Jamie.
OK, so after this lengthy discussion on pundits and the futility of Jamie Redknapp who was (thankfully) quiet for the rest of the night anyway (who needs 3 pundits???), let me get back to the point raised by Souness.
'World class' is a hard tag to live up to, and one which has to be earned. In my opinion very few players deserve that appreciation and so it should be. Souness rightly claimed that you need consistency and ability at the highest level for a certain number of years to qualify for that trademark. The Scot wasn't being dismissive of Hazard and Oscar's talent but he was right in saying that destroying Wigan (and failing to do so against QPR) does not qualify you as world class.
In my view there is another factor which needs to be taken into account. To be world class, a player needs to have the ability to lead his time by the scruff of its neck. Remember when Zidane single-handedly won the Champions' League for Real and Euro 2000 for France (when he was at his peak)? The man was world class then. Was he world class when he scored two goals in the 1998 final? Not yet, because he had failed to lead the French team through, getting sent off against Saudi Arabia in the group stage and missing the Denmark and Paraguay games.
Was Steven Gerrard world class? You bet he was (notice the use of the past tense)! The man single-handedly drove Liverpool back from the brink of extinction in the Champions' League final against AC Milan and, during the run to the final, was instrumental in scoring vital goals despite playing in a distinctly average side (Igor Biscan and Neil Mellor. Enough said), most notably against Olympiakos, which left us with the best bit of commentator's reaction until Gaz Neville's climax for the Torres goal against Barcelona.
Of course honours aren't the only factor in determining whether a player is world class. Sometimes leadership is shared equally among the team and the talent is so incredibly present that it'd be foolish to not acknowledge it. This is why we can safely say Ronaldo, Figo and others in that Real Madrid team were world class. Which is why we can say that Claude Makelele, for revolutionising a position, was world class. But Pavon and Helguera? No thanks.
 |
| Does this mean Pavon had a fan club? Probably the only people who thought he was world class |
Of course the world class label has a very subjective aspect to it. Two English players are perfect examples of that subjectivity.
Let's start with David Beckham. The man undoubtedly had a world class skill in the way he crossed the ball. It was beautiful, it was unlike anything anyone had ever done. It was consistently excellent and he did deliver....once against Greece in the World Cup qualifiers. Apart from that, was Goldenballs world class? I personally disagree. The man was without question a good player. World class? No sir-ee. Becks never led a team to glory. He was a consistently good performer in 1999 but that team depended on collective excellence, with inspiration from Schmeichel, Keane, Scholes, Giggs and toughness from Stam. Becks? Not a leader, just a good player.
Similarly, Beckham managed to 'lead' England's most talented team for decades to years of under-achievement. Yes I'm talking about World Cups 2002 to 2006, with an incredibly frustrating Euro 2004 in-between. Sure he wasn't helped by Sven and the other players' lack of accountability for their very own failures (Stevie G, can you NOT pass it back to Henry please?). But Becks was also notable in his numerous failures at the highest level. Of course I'm talking about penalty misses people. What else?
Even at Real Madrid the man was no leader. Granted he wasn't helped by a condescending dressing-room and coaches who didn't really value him during his time there. But the man wasn't leading an unbalanced side to excellence. He was second fiddle.
 |
| Only time when Beckham won something as one of the leaders. Shame that the MLS Cup isn't a real trophy. |
So am I harsh when looking back at Sir Beckham (as he will undoubtedly become known) and his distinguished career? You bet I am. But was he world class? Not in my view.
Now let's look at a more recent English player. Let's have a look at Wayne Rooney. Just like Beckham, but perhaps even more so, talent isn't in question. Rooney is, on his day (and that's a statement which needs to be added), a very good creative player. He has displayed tremendous technical ability and scored goals at the highest level.
But is he truly world class?
Once again I'd like to voice my personal objections. Sure the boy has won many honours, but has he ever led his team to these trophies? His petulance clearly doesn't make him stand out as a leader, but it's also interesting to note that he has never been the main man for Manchester United. His Champions' League win was inspired by Ronaldo's excellence and key contributions from Van der Sar, Ferdinand-Vidic, Scholes and others.
Was Rooney ever the main man? Did he ever save Manchester United in the same way Gerrard did for Liverpool?
Of course it's easier to look best when you're the big fish in a small pond, as Gerrard has nearly always been at Liverpool. But Stevie G's performances in that run were also helped by superb football from Luis Garcia, Xabi Alonso, Jamie Carragher and Jerzy Dudek. He wasn't entirely alone but still managed to constantly push the team higher.
Did we ever see Rooney do that for Manchester United? We're seeing it again with RVP's presence as the alpha dog despite Rooney's childish reactions and claims to the contrary. And, of course, the least said about Rooney's distinctly unimpressive England career the better.
 |
| "Well done for getting sent off Wayne, you're no leader like me" says JT. A whole nation subsequently throws up. |
Let me set this straight though. Despite my personal dislike of the burly striker, there is also no shame in playing second fiddle to very talented players. It's not a criticism of Rooney's talent, nor was it of Beckham's. It's a criticism of their personality. Their submissive side is, for me, what separates these very good players from ever attaining that world class tag.
The Americans and NBA followers call the supremely good players 'franchise players' because they are the face of their team and their unquestioned leader on the court. Lebron James, Kobe Bryant, Kevin Durant now, and Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson and Larry bird in their prime are and were 'franchise players'. Of course it's easier to be designated as such when there are only 5 players on the court.
But tell me, would you call Rooney, Beckham, Hazard and many others 'franchise players'?
This is not a criticism of many players' talent. This is just a simple wish: that we use the world class tag with parcimony and after years of excellence. Then we can truly distinguish the players that make us dream. Then we can truly recognise them for their impact.
Wednesday, 12 September 2012
The law of averages means 1-1: The England-Ukraine Recap
So, as I realised this was World Cup Qualifying and it was September already, here was my thought process as I turned on the telly to watch the game:
1) Damn, it's on ITV. That means Adrian Chiles, Gareth Southgate, Lee Dixon and Roy Keane. Talk about mediocrity. When will they learn?
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| ITV: Incompetent TeleVision |
2) We're already into the second game of World Cup Qualifying! Didn't Ukraine-England take place yesterday during the Euros? Do these guys ever stop? Am I getting close to an overdose of football?
3) Is this really the best England has to offer? Is that their actual bench? Wow.
With hindsight, it was probably fitting that ITV were the broadcasters for tonight's game. After all, when you propose mediocre/awful punditry and presenting then you only deserve an average team. And that's exactly what we got.
Now I don't think I need to explain how dreadful ITV is. I mean, two of their star pundits were shocking managers and poor at international level (Southgate for obvious reasons, Keane for committing the ultimate sin of giving up on his country) and the new arrival (Dixon) left MOTD because he couldn't dislodge Alan Shearer of all pundits! And the least said about Adrian Chiles the better.
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| Dixon: fled the BBC due to Shearer's clearer analysis. Now there's something I never thought I'd write. |
Now let me get to England. I have to say I am a fan of Roy Hodgson. This is probably, deep down, due to my Fulham bias. But I appreciate what he's got to work with. Between the natural lack of quality players at his disposal (only 32% of starters in the Prem are English) and some players' shocking attitude (hello Carrick and Crouchy!), the man has had more problems than many other managers.
But it is time England fans wake up and realise that their team has goals which they will not attain any time soon. In fact, except if England 'does a Greece' (cue shudder due to realisation of Greece's win at Euro 2004), I feel confident in saying that England will not even be serious contenders until at least World Cup 2018. That is because England are in a transition and their fans/journalists/pundits are delusional regarding the new crop of talent coming through.
Even though I had thought about it, this realisation struck me as I was watching The Footballers' Football Show on Sky Sports. Despite its early 90s-NBA program-look the show raises interesting points and brings together interesting characters who make astute observations. Glenn Hoddle was there last thursday and basically complained about the way young players are trained in the UK.
"But wait, England has a couple of exciting, amazing youngsters!" Let me set things straight; England has decent young players. But so do many other countries. And please tell me how many of them start for their teams. The most talented (and mercurial) of them all can't even get a game for Chelsea at the moment. And yes, that's Daniel Sturridge I'm talking about.
Tom Cleverley? Overrated after only a few games for Man Utd. Was badly outplayed against Southampton, when Man U only started playing well once Scholes came back on.
Ryan Bertrand? Played well in the Champions' League but still not a starter for his club.
Oxlade-Chamberlain? Not a regular yet.
Danny Welbeck? Not gonna play much this season.
Phil Jones? The guy needs to learn the basics of defending first.
Jordan Henderson? OK, that one's a stretch. He's not even better than Jonjo Shelvey. And that's saying something, even though I have a soft spot for the bald midfielder.
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| Henderson: rubbish yet an England cap after a few Premier League games. A common problem. |
Am I harsh? Certainly. After all, there is no shame playing second fiddle to players like Ashley Cole, Scholes, RVP, Rooney and Walcott. Actually, there's a lot wrong being second choice behind Walcott, but that's also down to Wenger's weird obsession with playing the ex-Southampton man.
I guess all I'm trying to say is that young English players get an over-hyped reputation once they start playing a few games for big teams.
I understand these players are young and need time, and that is what Roy would be doing in an ideal world. But he also to blood them early due to the lack of any decent experienced figure to guide them along.
Because where are all the golden oldies of (ironically) the ex-'Golden Generation'? What has happened to them? And didn't they also fail at international level as well? So how would these guys be great examples?
It is now only down to Lampard and Gerrard to guide the England youngsters, and that is both reassuring and scary at the same time. Reassuring because Gerrard has proven his leadership in the past and Lampard is still producing at a high level and has had the merit of adapting his game. Scary because they don't have much left in the tank, especially Gerrard (we'll get to that point later).
And where else is leadership and mentoring going to come from? Terry? Ferdinand? These were world class players. But notice the use of the past tense.
Who else then? Jagielka? Lescott? Johnson? These men have never been and never will be great international class players. Whilst they have been decent, England shouldn't actually ask them to pass on the torch and take added responsibility.
The only outfield world class player England now possesses is Ashley Cole but he is no leader, we all now that. And yes, I'm not counting Rooney as world class. the man has never taken over Man Utd and that's due to a lack of accountability on his part. Despite his super-sized ego Rooney will never lead his own team. And, considering his habit of failing in the big moments, especially at international level, that's perhaps for the best.
So, with that in mind, the near future is bleak for England, and tonight's performance demonstrated it. But with the right manager in charge, and with time, better times will come. But England fans be warned: out of the current crop of youngsters I don't particularly see one becoming world class. I sincerely hope I'm wrong as we're getting closer to 50 years of hurt.
THE LINE-UPS
ENGLAND: Worryingly, this was probably the best team Roy could put out. Organised in a 4-4-1-1 with Cleverley playing behind Defoe, this team clearly had the Hodgson feel. Playing deep, with wide midfielders asked to help with the defending, which explained the selection of Milner, England set out exactly like at the Euro. Considering they had (luckily) beaten Ukraine in that very tournament, it was probably wise on Hodgson's part. Not exciting, not particularly confident considering you're playing at home, but wise.
Cue the usual England performance:
- An inability to keep the ball,
- Defensive midfielders (Gerrard and Lampard) who don't know and don't actually try to defend and cover their defenders,
- Glen Johnson bombing forward and forgetting to defend,
- Centre-backs looking to pass the ball to their midfielders who don't come to help and
- Gerrard trying a long ball every 2 minutes
Whilst the tactics weren't that surprising, I was nevertheless myself a bit baffled by some of the players on show and on the bench. Tom Cleverley hasn't really set the world alight for Man Utd but is starting. James Milner has been poor and has lacked imagination for Man City yet started. Players like Adam Lallana and Raheem Sterling are very young and inexperienced even at Premier League level. So why isn't a player like Nathan Dyer, who has been on fire for Swansea this season, given a chance? After all, he's only been part of the best passing team in the country for the last year or so. Surprising.
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| Nathan Dyer: should probably be picked if selection was based on form and talent. |
Similarly, why bring back a disgruntled Carrick when this was the perfect game for him to showcase his talent? Say what you say about Carrick, but the man knows how to position himself and is 200% more tactically aware than Gerrard in the deep midfielder role. And he doesn't mind covering his defenders.
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| Carrick: why bring him back to not play him? |
Despite his statements to the contrary it seemed as though Roy Hodgson had partially succumbed to calling the big names rather than call players on form and/or ability. And it showed.
UKRAINE: I'll be the first to admit that I don't know much about Ukraine and many of their players. But I did remember a few things from the Euros:
1) Their wingers are dangerous and combine well with their wing-backs.
2) Serhiy Nazarenko is my favourite bald player with Jonjo Shelvey.
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| Nazarenko: one of my favourite Ukrainian players of all time. |
Unfortunately, whilst we didn't get to see much of Nazarenko, the first point happened throughout the game. Konoplienka and Yarmolenko were dangerous throughout and their 5-man midfield controlled the game, if not in terms of possession then surely in terms of protection and counter-attacking fervour. If you're Oleg Blockhin that's all you're asking of your team when playing away at Wembley. A shrewd set-up and defined tactical plan by Blokhin to make his team hard to beat.
THE GAME
So here are our conclusions:
* If England had a typical England game, then Gerrard had a typical Steven Gerrard game. And that's not meant to be a compliment when I'm talking about the 'looking-seriously-washed-up' version of Stevie G. Whilst you can't complain about his commitment and wilful running throughout the game, Gerrard demonstrated everything that was wrong about his game. The Liverpool captain provided no cover to his defenders, lost the ball countless times trying numerous Hollywood balls and even managed to get sent off stupidly. Yes, stupidly. Because, when you're already on a yellow (which could have been a red), you don't go diving in like that. And that's what irks me with Gerrard; he enjoys the 'statement' plays. So he'll never track his man throughout the game but he'll put in a big tackle to show his commitment. It'd be fine if he wasn't letting his player go 99% of the time. A match to forget for a player who looks more and more like he's lost in a deep midfield position.
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| Gerrard and the 'statement tackles': unfortunately there is no photo of him not tracking/tackling his man 99% of the time. |
*Another player who had a typical game was Glen Johnson. I have been a staunch defender of Johnson in the past and I do feel that he ahs never actually let England down. But tonight epitomised Johnson at his worst. The right-back was out of position numerous times, rarely tracked the exciting Konoplienka and didn't defend properly. Sure, he wasn't at fault for the goal or any truly dangerous plays. But he probably deserved to due to his lazy efforts on the defensive front.
* I would honestly love for there to be some sort of consistency when it comes to diving. Of course Yarmolenko faked an injury and got a perfectly good goal disallowed. And he was rightly castigated by a quite fair Tyldesley who himself surprisingly balanced out the cancellation of Defoe's goal with a reminder of Devic's own disallowed goal at the Euros in a rare show of objectivity. But can we also call a dive a dive when it's done by an English player? When Welbeck clearly dived in a very Pires-like fashion around the 80th minute, the first assumption by Townsend was the classic argument of 'he's been too honest and it's gone against him', which somehow only seems to be levelled at English players. However, when replays showed that Welbeck had shamelessly dived, both commentators kept quiet. I'm personally getting tired of that discrimination which happens every week-end. English players dive: we've all seen Gerrard, Rooney and now Welbeck do it. So can we please call them out when they do it?
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| Yes Danny that was a dive. Sorry? You're English? You were too honest then. |
* This was a great chance for Leighton Baines to show that he wasn't strictly a very good Plan B to Ashley Cole. Unfortunately the Everton man was poor. Curiously jaded, and afraid of Yarmolenko running behind him, Baines stuck to defending and didn't even do it all that well. A strangely subdued performance, and Leighton lost a lot of points. Hodgson's decision to replace him with Bertrand was telling.
* Defoe was nowhere to be seen apart from his disallowed goal. It's telling that he's the only real striker England have: his link-up play was awful and he never really made a run at the cumbersome Ukrainian centre-backs. Surely the criticism levelled at Darren Bent can also be aimed at Jermain: if he doesn't score he will bring nothing to the game. Tonight, that was clear for all of us to see.
* Similar to my position on Johnson, I had been a staunch defender of what Milner brings to the team. Tonight however, he was very poor. No creativity, no width, no dangerous passes and not even great cover on Konoplienka. Very poor.
* You look at how England players play, and no wonder they can't keep the ball. Whenever Lampard and Gerrard dropped deep to get the ball, they would just pass it back and start running. Look at Spanish players; they pass the ball and look to get it back in their feet in return. They also don't run 10 miles away from the ball carrier. No good options and no tactical awareness means no good passing. Until English players comprehend that they need to offer solutions to the ball carrier (and by solutions I don't mean a 45 yard pass) then the England team will be condemned to lose the ball. Compare that to a lesser Ukrainian side which never really panicked when in possession.
* Similar to the diving incident, can we please hand out the Man of the Match award to someone who truly deserves it? Lampard was decent in possession and scored a pen, but Konoplienka was everywhere throughout the game and was the most dangerous player on both sides. He, and not Lamps, deserved the man of the match award. And his goal was a peach.
* The Konoplienka goal, if I'm being picky, was the epitome of how Hodgson's approach can backfire. By defending deep and not offering decent protection to his defenders in the middle of the park, Roy leaves England at the mercy of a decent long-range strike. And boy was that one more than decent.
* Let's give Roy credit where's due though: his substitutions were spot on and quite brave. Whilst the introduction of Bertrand was negligible apart from a statement aimed at Baines, the arrivals of Sturridge and Welbeck livened up England. Full of running, unafraid of taking on defenders, and with a decent physical presence combining pace and power, both strikers became a handful for a tiring Ukraine defence. Whilst his dive is unforgivable, Welbeck was the catalyst for England's good reaction in the second half. If only these two were regulars for their clubs.
* Seriously, Livermore, Lallana and Sterling on the bench? A combined total of 36 Premier League appearances. And that's 28 for Livermore only. Scary.
* Konoplienka and Yarmolenko were just superb. Cutting inside and opening space for their wing-backs to burst through (especiallt the impressive Gusev) or taking players on on the outside, both wingers were imperial and tormented Baines and Johnson. They were good at the Euros and impressive tonight again. It'd be good to see what happens to them in the near future. There are certainly worse players in the Premier League. Even players like Walcott don't show the same appreciation of when to cut inside or go on the outside.
* Konoplienka is not only good on the ball but boy can he run! The man took on Johnson and made him look like a very slow Paul Parker-esque version of a right-back. Impressive.
* Whenever I have seen Pyatov play he has looked like a disaster waiting to happen. But tonight the goalkeeper was solid and his save to deny Johnson was superb.
* How good was that miss by Tom Cleverley? Open goal and all he could do was shoot straight at Pyatov. Despite ITV's duo's attempts to condemn Defoe for an admittedly bad header, this was a shocking miss by an overrated player.
* Can anyone please tell me when Tymoschuk was actually meant to be class? Of course he's old and slow now, but who convinced Bayern to spend so much on an average holding midfielder? Tonight he played second fiddle to the impressive Rotan in midfield.
PLAYER RATINGS
ENGLAND
HART: A solid performance. The Manchester City goalkeeper didn't have a lot thrown at him but did well when asked to actually do something. He could do nothing for Konoplienka's wonder goal, but the good sign is that he seems to exude confidence and his defenders trust him. And that can only be a good thing. 6/10
JOHNSON: As mentioned earlier, a typical 'Liverpool Johnson' performance. Poor defensively, he never found the right balance between bombing forward and staying back. He simply couldn't handle Konoplienka. Good going forward, but that's to be expected if he doesn't spend any time defending. Drew a good save from Pyatov. 5/10
JAGIELKA: Didn't actually have too much to do but tried to do it effectively and cleanly. A laboured start with a few passes going astray, but he grew in stature. Still not particularly impressive but he didn't make major mistakes. To his credit he tried to keep the ball but never really had good options to pass to. 6/10
LESCOTT: Was solid apart from his misplaced pass straight to Yarmolenko which later led to the goal. Continued on his run from the Euros but looked a little less assured. 6/10
BAINES: A strange subdued performance. Poor going forward and found Yarmolenko to be a handful. A night to forget. 4/10
Replaced by Bertrand who didn't actually do too much.
MILNER: A poor performance by a player who seems to become less technically astute week in, week out (admittedly I didn't see the Moldova game). He didn't really help Johnson out on the defensive front either. His critics will say that he shouldn't start. On this evidence, they have a point. 3/10
GERRARD: A sub-standard performance from the captain. We already touched on it, but Gerrard was wasteful and didn't offer any good solutions. He was also a headless chicken throughout the game, never playing intelligently enough to help out his defenders or attacking players. Meant to be the shield and link between defence and attack, the Liverpool player failed in both aspects. 3/10
LAMPARD: Definitely didn't deserve to be named man of the match, but the Chelsea man has definitely adapted well to playing the deep midfielder role. Compare that to Gerrard. An effective if not flashy performance. A solid penalty as well. 6/10
OXLADE-CHAMBERLAIN: The young man (as Ray Wilkins would say) showed his age in an underwhelming performance. He didn't really help out Baines with dealing with Yarmolenko, and he never seemed particularly dangerous on the ball. 4/10
Replaced by Sturridge who made a clear difference. The arrogant Chelsea man took on his defender with aplomb and put in several dangerous balls into the box. Lively and creative, he helped destabilise a tiring Ukrainian defence. 6/10
CLEVERLEY: Didn't offer anything apart from his howler and another chance gone begging. Did well to hit the post but seemed to constantly lose the ball. 2/10
Replaced by Welbeck who was the catalyst for England's reaction. Produced an outrageous dive but also real moments of quality, and he deserved to be awarded a penalty in his favour. A definite option for England as his movement and power make him a good target man. 7/10
DEFOE: A disallowed goal and then he disappeared. No link-up play and few good runs. I guess it is hard to perform when you're not given any good balls to run on to, but the Spurs striker was poor and didn't get involved. 4/10
UKRAINE
PYATOV: Reliable, serious and solid. Didn't have too many saves to pull off but he did produce a good one from a Glen Johnson low strike. Directed his defence well and seemed to be a more assured presence. A good game. 7/10
GUSEV: Solid defensively and enthusiastic going forward, the right wing-back put in a good performance, especially in the first 20 minutes when Ukraine were all over England. Pressed hard, held his own and helped out going forward. Gusev found the balance Glen Johnson didn't. 7/10
KACHERIDI: Quick to hit the floor when touched by Defoe, but the tall lanky defender put in a good performance. Headed and cleared everything out, and wasn't afraid to pop out of defence to get the team moving. A good match only tarnished by his handball which led to England's penalty. 6/10
RAKITSKIY: The other half of a solid partnership at the back for Ukraine. Didn't put a foot wrong all game. 7/10
SELIN: Found Johnson to be more of a handful than Milner and wasn't always helped by Konoplienka. A serious, solid performance even though he didn't venture out of defence too much. 6/10
Replaced by Shevchuk who helped Ukraine weather the storm.
TYMOSCHUK: Slow, cumbersome, wasteful in possession, the Bayern Munich man seemed past it tonight. 3/10
ROTAN: Impressive stuff from the midfielder. He controlled the tempo in the first half, rarely wasting possession and probing forward a few times, bursting past Gerrard and Lampard on regular occasions. More withdrawn in the second half as Ukraine protected their lead and hit England on the break, but Rotan shielded his defence effectively and without fuss. A very effective and impressive performance. 7/10
Replaced by Nazarenko. Always good to see his bald head, but only came on in the 90th. Not enough time to shine (apart from his shiny bald head, obviously).
 |
| Rotan: on the floor, but had the upper hand on Gerrard all game long. |
GARMASH: Solid stuff from the midfielder. Didn't spend much time in the limelight due to his defensive job but did everything well. Tired as the game drew to a close but he protected his defence well. 6/10
YARMOLENKO: Outrageous play-acting aside, the winger was a thorn in England's side throughout the game. He combined extremely well with Gusev in the first half and gave Baines fits. A very impressive performance. 7/10
KONOPLIENKA: The obvious man of the match, despite what ITV says. Constantly running at Johnson (when the England right-back wasn't out of position), Milner or Jagielka, the Dnipro man (who plays for Juande Ramos, as Tyldesley repeated 74 times) was superb. His pace and creativity proved dangerous all game long and he scored a sublime goal. Won himself a lot of admirers for his old-fashioned wing play. 8/10
 |
| Konoplienka: superb all game long, and a scorcher as well. |
ZOZULYA: Full of running and tried to help his team out defensively. Fed off scraps but still caused problems to Lescott and Jagielka. Perhaps should have done better with a late chance but he clearly wasn't as lucid as early on due to tiredness. 6/10
Replaced by Devic who only came on for 2 minutes and didn't have time to prove anything.
Wednesday, 5 September 2012
An open letter to Patrick Swayze: The Manchester City Preview
I used to like Roberto Mancini. Maybe it was due to the fact he actually was a very good player back in the day. Maybe it was because of his gorgeous hair, which looked even more unflappably better when I saw him in the flesh at a Fulham game. Maybe it was because he finally bested Fergie at mind-games where the Scot and Man U are meant to excel. It was also, I'm sure, because Man City beat the obnoxious Utd after their neighbours basically threw the title away, something which they normally claim to never happen to them despite evidence to the contrary.
 |
| Man that was sweet. |
Basically Roberto: I liked you because you beat Man U and Fergie at their own game, and with the cruellest of wins. It was sweet. Even your celebration with Brian Kidd was better than Fergie's own celebration with the same man (harsh to call him a mercenary?). I mean, you jumped into his arms and locked your legs around his waist. It was like seeing a live re-enactment of Dirty Dancing and you were Patrick Swayze. It was gorgeous.
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| 'Nobody puts Mancini in the corner' |
I liked you so much at that point that I had even overlooked your annoying habits. I had been willing to forgive you for not standing your ground with Tevez after taking the moral high ground. I had forgiven you for constantly putting on that air of constant unhappiness despite being in what is surely the easiest job in world football. I had forgiven you for bringing Mario Balotelli to the UK. Actually, that's a lie, I actually loved you for it. So, like an old couple, we actually had a good run. I was even willing to acknowledge you winning the title as an 'achievement' despite your club spending more money in two seasons than anyone else in the world.
And then it all changed. I saw your press conferences before the season. You should have been refreshed after some 'well-earned' holidays. After all, you had the best team in the land. You had riches other clubs or leagues would dream of. You had authority in the dressing-room. People were respecting you more now. And then you started to whine. You started to complain about having to sell before buying. You started to complain about not having enough players, of having too many players.
And that's when it hit me. You had won the Premier League. You were no longer the also-rans. I was not willing to overlook the fact you bought your way to the title (like every other Premier League winners). Your team became just like Chelsea when they started winning. You had become unlikeable. You had become a winner, and goodness me you were annoying.
So there we are Man City: you've won, and I'm happy for you. But you better start enjoying being hated. That's the price of success.
THE TRANSFER REVIEW
Man City's ins and outs is like reading a 'Who's Who' of failures. Out of the club are Adebayor, Bridge (he still plays football!), Owen Hargreaves, Adam Johnson, Stuart Taylor, Vladimir Weiss, Nigel de Jong, Stefan Savic, Dedryck Boyata and Roque Santa Cruz. Only De Jong can be considered a success at Man City. A few of these players could have gone on to become very valuable players at the club if patience was a virtue at the Etihad. Yes I'm thinking of you Adam Johnson. No, not you Stefan Savic. The rest are a mixed bunch of flops and overpaid average players. So let's consider who's come in.
JACK RODWELL
Let's consider the ipad. Let's be honest: who needs an ipad? They're expensive, and all they do is basically combine an ipod with a laptop. But it looks nice and snazzy. So people buy it. People who have laptops and ipods buy ipads. They also buy iphones, but that's another issue. You don't need an ipad when you have all those things, but it's some sort of statement to have one. And this is where Steve Jobs was a genius (a commercial, money-grabbing, black turtle-neck-wearing-jumper-scumbag-genius). And this is where we're all suckers. because we buy ipads and iphones when we don't need them.
Jack Rodwell is Man City's ipad. Overrated and not needed at that club (you had de Jong for goodness sake!). But it's a statement to buy a player who is supposedly the Rio Ferdinand of the future despite never playing centre-back. It's a statement to buy a player you're not going to play much, just to say you can. I sort of understand it somehow, especially when you consider ipads and the fact we're talking about football. After all, why did Man Utd buy Phil Jones when they had Chris Smalling heading there? Clubs do it all the time.
However, if you're Rodwell, seeing Adam Johnson head out as you're signing your contract should be a warning sign. You might have a burgeoning reputation but that doesn't mean you're going to play. You think Adam Johnson thought in 2010 that he'd be playing for Sunderland in 2012? Where is Rodwell going to be in 2014?
Best case scenario: A cross between Gareth Barry and Yaya Touré
Worst case scenario: Stefan Savic and de Jong's lovechild.
JAVI GARCIA
It was actually pretty reassuring to see Javi Garcia come to Man City for a disproportionate amount of money (£16m!). It meant that Man City didn't get Javi Martinez of Bilbao. It also meant that they weren't willing to stump up the cash as they used to. Maybe the Financial Fair Play rules are causing concern. And that's good.
Anyway, back to Javi Garcia. What Man City got is a solid holding midfielder, which sounds ridiculous considering they let go of de Jong and bought Rodwell already. But Javi Garcia has pedigree which Rodwell doesn't have: a solid few years learning the ropes and eventually playing over 20 games for Real Madrid, Champions' League experience with Benfica and even a cap with Spain. I've got to say that's pretty solid.
But will Javi Garcia play? He's facing enormous competitiveness at his position and has never played in the Prem. It's going to be interesting.
Best case scenario: the lovechild of Gareth Barry and de Jong
Worst case scenario: David Pizarro
MAICON
It's always good to buy a marauding right-back with no defensive skills, especially when you already have one at the club (hello Micah Richards!). Let's make it clear: Maicon was a beast. Now he's just porky. And he still can't defend. I'm sure Roberto will enjoy working with him whilst Maicon and David Platt will finish off the pies. That's not because David Platt is fat, it's because he speaks Italian and it's a nice way of bonding with Maicon whilst introducing him to local cuisine.
Anyway, it's baffling for ManCity to have actually acquired Maicon. After all, he is 32 now, coming on big wages and has never played in the Prem. And where is the sense in all this considering Man City already have Richards and Zabaleta (very underrated, solid defensively and good going forward)? Unless Roberto plans on playing Micah at centre-back. And that would be even more baffling.
Best case scenario: a more explosive Zabaleta
Worst case scenario: Man City's Winston Bogarde
SCOTT SINCLAIR
Sometimes players are ungrateful. Actually, instead of 'sometimes', I should have written 'often'. And if there's one ungrateful player out there, it's Scott Sinclair. Let's rewind back to 2010. After about 74 loan spells at lower league clubs (yes I include Wigan as a lower league club. Not much better than Blackpool), nobody wanted Scott Sinclair. The guy was 21 but was washed up; he'd never proven anything to anyone at a decent level. Rejected by everyone, he found his way to Swansea, an up and coming club willing to take a chance on him. It was a match made in heaven; Sinclair found a role which suited him in a team which played a style of football any footballer would like to play. An impressive debut season in the Prem followed with 8 goals and several convincing performances. Scott Sinclair had managed to claw his way back. And then he forgot who he owed for his rise, refusing to sign a new contract with the only club which put faith in him. He preferred going to Man City instead, not heeding the numerous warning signs over the years for English wingers going there. A sad tale and I for one will not cheer Scott Sinclair on the rare occasions he gets to play.
Best case scenario: Adam Johnson
Worst case scenario: Shaun Wright-Phillips (second time round)
MATIJA NASTASIC
Wow. That one came out of nowhere. My reaction was 'Oh I won't get to see Stefan Savic again', followed by 'Who the hell is Matija Nastasic?', followed by '£12m!'. This sums up pretty much all I've got to say about this transfer. 26 games in Serie A for one of the worst Fiorentina teams of the last few years, and the guy is worth £10 (£12m + Stefan Savic)! Looks like Italian owners are tough negotiators. Nastasic for £12m and Borini for £11m. Talk about maximizing average talent.
So what do we know about Matija Nastasic? He's Serbian, so he's got to be tough. He's still only 19, so he's got age on his side. And he's not Stefan Savic.
Is it too much to ask for a Savic for £12m and Nastasic transfer in a year's time?
Best case scenario: Nemanja Vidic
Worst case scenario: Stefan Savic
RICHARD WRIGHT
Oh wow. Richard Wright is still a professional football player? I thought he was shooting some sort of pseudo-fictional s**t TV series in Essex. What is there to say about Richard Wright. He's been to goalkeepers what Francis Jeffers has been to strikers: an absolute unconditional flop. That's a nice way of saying he's incredibly crap. By the by, Jeffers is currently training with Tranmere after being released by Motherwell and Newcastle Jets (of Australia) in consecutive seasons. The only difference? A good agent for Richard.
It does bother me that the 3rd keeper spot is not given to someone from the youth team. After all, Man City have about 63 players under; I'm sure one of them is a slightly promising young goalkeeper. even if he's not remotely promising he'll still be better than Richard Wright.
Best case scenario: Stuart Taylor
Worst case scenario: Richard Wright
WALLY'S ADVICE
Keep your players happy
That is so freakingly obvious I feel bad even typing it up. With so many players and so many egos at his disposal, Roberto is going to have a lot of work on his hands. That should never mean, however, that Kolo Touré gets to start ahead of Lescott or Kompany.
Don't start with the 3-5-2
OK, it's worked out well for you in a few games. But you won the league playing 4-2-3-1, so keep that formation as it works wonders.
Who's going to play on the wings?
Nasri isn't a winger, Adam Johnson is gone and Milner is Milner. So, apart from Scott Sinclair, who's going to play on the wings? Or does that mean we're heading towards a system with no wingers?
THE LINE-UP
In our view
Hart
Zabaleta Kompany Lescott Clichy
Touré Yaya Javi Garcia/Barry/Rodwell
Silva Aguero Nasri
Tevez/Dzeko
How they probably will line up
Hart
Zabaleta Kompany Lescott Kolarov/Clichy
Touré Yaya Barry
Silva Aguero Nasri
Tevez
PREDICTIONS
Man City are still the best team with the best squad. For that reason alone they should finish 1st and it probably shouldn't even be a contest. It will be tight, they will be pushed, but they should win.
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| This might be a Sunderland banner but it could read 'This is what Man City does to you'. Adam Johnson: what Rodwell should have considered. |
Best case scenario: A cross between Gareth Barry and Yaya Touré
Worst case scenario: Stefan Savic and de Jong's lovechild.
JAVI GARCIA
It was actually pretty reassuring to see Javi Garcia come to Man City for a disproportionate amount of money (£16m!). It meant that Man City didn't get Javi Martinez of Bilbao. It also meant that they weren't willing to stump up the cash as they used to. Maybe the Financial Fair Play rules are causing concern. And that's good.
Anyway, back to Javi Garcia. What Man City got is a solid holding midfielder, which sounds ridiculous considering they let go of de Jong and bought Rodwell already. But Javi Garcia has pedigree which Rodwell doesn't have: a solid few years learning the ropes and eventually playing over 20 games for Real Madrid, Champions' League experience with Benfica and even a cap with Spain. I've got to say that's pretty solid.
But will Javi Garcia play? He's facing enormous competitiveness at his position and has never played in the Prem. It's going to be interesting.
 |
| An uncertain role to play |
Best case scenario: the lovechild of Gareth Barry and de Jong
Worst case scenario: David Pizarro
MAICON
It's always good to buy a marauding right-back with no defensive skills, especially when you already have one at the club (hello Micah Richards!). Let's make it clear: Maicon was a beast. Now he's just porky. And he still can't defend. I'm sure Roberto will enjoy working with him whilst Maicon and David Platt will finish off the pies. That's not because David Platt is fat, it's because he speaks Italian and it's a nice way of bonding with Maicon whilst introducing him to local cuisine.
Anyway, it's baffling for ManCity to have actually acquired Maicon. After all, he is 32 now, coming on big wages and has never played in the Prem. And where is the sense in all this considering Man City already have Richards and Zabaleta (very underrated, solid defensively and good going forward)? Unless Roberto plans on playing Micah at centre-back. And that would be even more baffling.
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| 'Please God, help me find a club where I don't have to play and can earn crazy amount of money' |
Worst case scenario: Man City's Winston Bogarde
SCOTT SINCLAIR
Sometimes players are ungrateful. Actually, instead of 'sometimes', I should have written 'often'. And if there's one ungrateful player out there, it's Scott Sinclair. Let's rewind back to 2010. After about 74 loan spells at lower league clubs (yes I include Wigan as a lower league club. Not much better than Blackpool), nobody wanted Scott Sinclair. The guy was 21 but was washed up; he'd never proven anything to anyone at a decent level. Rejected by everyone, he found his way to Swansea, an up and coming club willing to take a chance on him. It was a match made in heaven; Sinclair found a role which suited him in a team which played a style of football any footballer would like to play. An impressive debut season in the Prem followed with 8 goals and several convincing performances. Scott Sinclair had managed to claw his way back. And then he forgot who he owed for his rise, refusing to sign a new contract with the only club which put faith in him. He preferred going to Man City instead, not heeding the numerous warning signs over the years for English wingers going there. A sad tale and I for one will not cheer Scott Sinclair on the rare occasions he gets to play.
 |
| I couldn't put a picture of Adam Johnson twice, so here's Shaun Wright-Phillips to hammer home my point. |
Worst case scenario: Shaun Wright-Phillips (second time round)
MATIJA NASTASIC
Wow. That one came out of nowhere. My reaction was 'Oh I won't get to see Stefan Savic again', followed by 'Who the hell is Matija Nastasic?', followed by '£12m!'. This sums up pretty much all I've got to say about this transfer. 26 games in Serie A for one of the worst Fiorentina teams of the last few years, and the guy is worth £10 (£12m + Stefan Savic)! Looks like Italian owners are tough negotiators. Nastasic for £12m and Borini for £11m. Talk about maximizing average talent.
So what do we know about Matija Nastasic? He's Serbian, so he's got to be tough. He's still only 19, so he's got age on his side. And he's not Stefan Savic.
Is it too much to ask for a Savic for £12m and Nastasic transfer in a year's time?
 |
| He's gone and I'm sad. |
Best case scenario: Nemanja Vidic
Worst case scenario: Stefan Savic
RICHARD WRIGHT
Oh wow. Richard Wright is still a professional football player? I thought he was shooting some sort of pseudo-fictional s**t TV series in Essex. What is there to say about Richard Wright. He's been to goalkeepers what Francis Jeffers has been to strikers: an absolute unconditional flop. That's a nice way of saying he's incredibly crap. By the by, Jeffers is currently training with Tranmere after being released by Motherwell and Newcastle Jets (of Australia) in consecutive seasons. The only difference? A good agent for Richard.
It does bother me that the 3rd keeper spot is not given to someone from the youth team. After all, Man City have about 63 players under; I'm sure one of them is a slightly promising young goalkeeper. even if he's not remotely promising he'll still be better than Richard Wright.
 |
| Richard Wright trying to save a penalty for England. Yes, this actually happened. |
Best case scenario: Stuart Taylor
Worst case scenario: Richard Wright
WALLY'S ADVICE
Keep your players happy
That is so freakingly obvious I feel bad even typing it up. With so many players and so many egos at his disposal, Roberto is going to have a lot of work on his hands. That should never mean, however, that Kolo Touré gets to start ahead of Lescott or Kompany.
Don't start with the 3-5-2
OK, it's worked out well for you in a few games. But you won the league playing 4-2-3-1, so keep that formation as it works wonders.
Who's going to play on the wings?
Nasri isn't a winger, Adam Johnson is gone and Milner is Milner. So, apart from Scott Sinclair, who's going to play on the wings? Or does that mean we're heading towards a system with no wingers?
THE LINE-UP
In our view
Hart
Zabaleta Kompany Lescott Clichy
Touré Yaya Javi Garcia/Barry/Rodwell
Silva Aguero Nasri
Tevez/Dzeko
How they probably will line up
Hart
Zabaleta Kompany Lescott Kolarov/Clichy
Touré Yaya Barry
Silva Aguero Nasri
Tevez
PREDICTIONS
Man City are still the best team with the best squad. For that reason alone they should finish 1st and it probably shouldn't even be a contest. It will be tight, they will be pushed, but they should win.
The Chris Browns of the Premier League: The Liverpool Preview
I remember a time, during my second year at university, when Chris Brown was on top of the world. No, I'm not talking about the journeyman striker last seen at Doncaster Rovers after memorable stints at Sunderland (9 goals in 66 games), Norwich (18 games/1 goal) and Preston (106 games/18 goals). No, I'm not talking about the modern-day Danny Dichio. I'm of course talking about the 'singer' Chris Brown. Yes, 'singer' because, if you've ever had the displeasure of listening to one of his 'songs' there's enough auto-tune in there to microwave a chicken to death. Too far, and totally irrelevant, and impossible? Probably, but you get my point.
But we're not here to discuss Chris Brown's 'musical' 'merits'. We're here to conlude my analogy.
Anyways, in 2008-2009, Chris Brown was on top of the world. He had released his successful breakthrough album in 2005 and his 2007 album had done really well as well. Not only was he selling out, but the man was going out with the hottest piece of candy on the planet at the time, namely Rihanna.
And then it all came crumbling down. I don't want to assume anything, but I'm guessing mixing drugs, alcohol and a high libido didn't go well for both Rihanna and 'CB', and he ended up punching her. Well, 'punching her' is being kind. The guy completely beat her up.
Of course, being a celebrity, he blatantly got away with it, but his return to the musical scene since then has been greeted with indifference. The guy is a nobody and he's drifted into irrelevance. Let's just hope it happens to Will.i.am next. But I digress.
If you don't see the comparison with Liverpool then I can't honestly believe I have to spell it out for you but here we go.
In 2008-2009 Liverpool should have won the Prem, as simple as that. With a superb spine of Reina, Carragher, Xabi Alonso, Mascherano, Gerrard and Torres, Liverpool were solid, fluid and heading somewhere. They had the ability to attract top players, a manager renowned on the international scene, and regularly performed well in the Champions' League. Liverpool had loads of promise.
And then it all went Pete Tong. We're talking about Potato Head's outrageous ego and power struggles, players and fans giving up on Roy Hodgson too early and the debacle that was Kenny Dalglish. I mean, they didn't kill anyone, but the club's support of one of football's most annoying and despicable characters in a racism row of all things was outrageous. At football level, that's as close as it gets to beating up a hottie.
And where are they now? Drifting into irrelevance, even more than Arsenal. Liverpool simply are not competitive anymore for the time being, whether it be in attracting top players or simply walking all over teams. They're the Chris Brown of the Premier League. They even managed to involve a court case to make the analogy even more appropriate. And, just like Chris Brown, the club still thinks it's entitled to greatness. Delusional to say the least.
So where do they go from here? Well, the only way is up, but it'll take time. Bringing Brendan Rodgers was a good appointment, but only giving him at least two years to learn from his mistakes and purge the team of mistakes from past regimes will ensure Liverpool are heading somewhere. Will he be given the time to do it? I truly hope so because Liverpool used to represent something.
His first steps have been both sensible and confounding. Sensible in the fact he brought Joe Allen and got rid of Andy Carroll. Confounding in the fact that he brought Fabio Borini (still young but overrated) and didn't get the help he deserved in bringing another striker.
More importantly for Rodgers, he will need players on his side. That's partly why Allen and Borini were brought to the club, but he's going to need the elephants to back him up. And those are Gerrard, Carragher (despite crossing the line into retirement in everything but name) and Suarez. These players need to help him and, in Gerrard's case especially, adapt their game.
Gerrard has a big role to play. For years he has delighted us with Hollywood passes, great goals and incredible leadership. Unfortunately, doing the first is detrimental to the new team and he's not capable of the second on a regular basis. This leaves leadership, and this is where Gerrard has to step up again. He gave up too soon and too publicly on Hodgson. He can't afford to do it to Rodgers.
It's going to be a difficult season, especially with players like Henderson still at the club. But if Liverpool do what they used to be renowned for (backing their manager and having an identity) then better times will come sooner rather than later.
THE TRANSFER REVIEW
I know we haven't talked about players who have left their clubs in previous previews, and most notably in Arsenal's (partly due to writing it before RVP left) but I have to say I find Rodgers' purge of Dalglish flops refreshing and justified. It was clear that Bellamy, Kuyt, Maxi and Adam didn't have it in them and weren't top class players. Of course not all of them were Dalglish players, but they still played a big part for Kenny. As for Carroll, the guy is just not good enough with the ball at his feet. Yes, he's young and he's a great header of the ball. But, unless you plan on playing a la West Ham/Bolton/Stoke then his lack of movement, pace, touch and finishing ability will count against you. And he'd be considered crap if he wasn't English. Nothing shocking about letting go an overrated player who can only fit in one system. Oh, and the least said about Spearing and Aquilani the better we breathe.
JOE ALLEN
I for one am a big fan of this signing. If Allen was English he would walk straight into the national side. Yes, that's a bold statement, but little Joe represents everything young English players should aspire to be. OK, I'm maybe getting carried away a bit, but Allen has many Xavi-like attributes. Spotless technique? Check. Tactical awareness? Check. Keeping the team ticking? Check. Keeping the ball (something which even Gerrard is incapable of)? Check. Small in stature? Check. A superb partner for a newly fit Lucas.
Best case scenario: Jon Mjallby without the fat. Or Xabi Alonso without the long range passing.
Worst case scenario: Lucas
FABIO BORINI
So the man scores 9 goals in 24 goals for Roma and he's worth £11m? And that's after being let go by Chelsea's reserves? That's exactly what's wrong with the transfer market. As you can tell, I'm not such a huge fan of this signing. OK, he's been called up to the Italian team, but Pierluigi Casiraghi was a mainstay of late 90s Italy and he was sh**e at Chelsea. It's nothing against Borini who, I hope, will prove me wrong and is still young. But it's puzzling to say the least. And the early signs aren't good. Definitely one for the future, even if he's going to have to play a lot this season.
Best case scenario: a faster Dirk Kuyt with goals
Worst case scenario: a faster Dirk Kuyt without the goals.
NURI SAHIN
Nuri Sahin is a typical case of 'it's hard to refuse [Real?Barca/Man U/Man City/Juve/AC] but I should have]. After dominating the Bundesliga with Borussia Dortmund and playing the Jurgen Klopp way, Sahin was tempted by the bright lights of Real Madrid and playing under Mourinho. What followed was a year of injuries and lack of playing time due to Sami Khedira and Xabi Alonso being mainstays of that team. Nuri even fell behing Granero (now of QPR) and Lassana Diarra (now of Anzhi and dead to me) in the pecking order.
So what does Liverpool get in Sahin? They get a ball playing central midfielder in the Joe Allen mould, capable of creating chances and goals as well as ably protecting the back four. The only problem? He's on an expensive loan with no clause to buy him. So he's basically a one-year rental. He would have been a much better signing if he had joined permanently. He will however help institute the Rodgers way.
Best case scenario: Xabi Alonso
Worst case scenario: a smaller Bruno Cheyrou.
OUSSAMA ASSAIDI
Haa the Eredivisie. You have given us Robben, Kuyt, Kezman, Van Nistelrooy, Ron Vlaar (new favourite here), Afonso Alves. The main thing to learn? There's no middle ground once you pluck someone out from Holland. They're either good to very good or bad to absolutely incredibly awful. Assaidi? Maybe the first middle-gound player from Holland?
Capable of playing on both wings or as a striker, Oussama has had two good seasons for Heerenveen, with 19 goals in 58 games, also known as 1 in 3. Not great but not bad either. At £4.5m he's rather low-risk and he's playing in a position of need. And he's only 24 so not a bad signing from Rodgers. Let's just hope he's more Robben than Afonso Alves (FYI now banging the goals in at...Al-Rayyan. Bless you.)
Best case scenario: a faster, better version of Dirk Kuyt
Worst case scenario: Stewart Downing
SAMED YESIL
I've got nothing against the boy (still 18) but I'm getting tired of signings like Samed Yesil. Sure he's only 18 and he's already played in the Bundesliga (albeit only one game). But Premier League reserves are crammed with players like Yesil, somehow bought based on their potential. And at the detriment of young English players. At best he will 'do a Borini', leave Liverpool and play at a decent level for another club. Rant over. But needless to say, I don't care about this signing. If he was THAT good we would have heard about him by now.
Best case scenario: don't care
Worst case scenario: don't care
WALLY'S ADVICE
Give some players a chance
OK he had a diabolical season. He was so bad I can't even compare him to anyone THAT bad. That's how awful Downing was. But you're telling me he's going to be that bad again this season? Why, instead of talking about him as a left-back, doesn't Rodgers simply aspire to giving him confidence once again. I mean, he was overrated at Villa (just like Ashley Young) but he was still a very good versatile winger. So please give Downing a chance n consecutive games. If it doesn't work out Rodgers will be able to blame it on Dalglish. A win-win situation really, especially in a position where Liverpool lack good players.
Give confidence back to Joe Cole as well. I'm guessing he's refreshed and still has something in the tank.
And please give a chance to Shelvey (convincing against Man City), Kelly, Robinson, Flanagan, Coates and of course Sterling (which he already has). Not so much to Henderson. He is really that crap.
Hold senior players accountable
That means telling Gerrard, Suarez, Reina and Glenn Johnson when they've been crap, which has happened quite a lot over the last 18 months. And no need to talk about Carragher. Good influence in the dressing room, but washed up as a player.
Tell Suarez to shut up and stop acting up
Please do it Brendan. Pretty please?
Keep blaming Kenny, but in a nice way
Because the guy really did untold damage to the club and made your job that much harder.
THE LINE-UP
In our view
Reina
Kelly Skrtel Agger Jose Enrique/Robinson/Johnson
Lucas Allen
Gerrard
Downing Joe Cole/Sterling/Suarez
Suarez/Borini
How they probably will line up
Reina
Johnson Skrtel Agger Jose Enrique
Lucas Allen
Gerrard
Borini Sterling/Downing
Suarez
PREDICTIONS
It is going to be hard season for Liverpool. It's already started badly enough. But, considering how difficult it is to implement a different culture at a club, Liverpool will pick up eventually. This is a rebuilding season. A disappointing yet good 9th considering all the shenanigans.
 |
| No, not that Chris Brown. |
Anyways, in 2008-2009, Chris Brown was on top of the world. He had released his successful breakthrough album in 2005 and his 2007 album had done really well as well. Not only was he selling out, but the man was going out with the hottest piece of candy on the planet at the time, namely Rihanna.
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| Unfortunately, that Chris Brown. |
Of course, being a celebrity, he blatantly got away with it, but his return to the musical scene since then has been greeted with indifference. The guy is a nobody and he's drifted into irrelevance. Let's just hope it happens to Will.i.am next. But I digress.
In 2008-2009 Liverpool should have won the Prem, as simple as that. With a superb spine of Reina, Carragher, Xabi Alonso, Mascherano, Gerrard and Torres, Liverpool were solid, fluid and heading somewhere. They had the ability to attract top players, a manager renowned on the international scene, and regularly performed well in the Champions' League. Liverpool had loads of promise.
And then it all went Pete Tong. We're talking about Potato Head's outrageous ego and power struggles, players and fans giving up on Roy Hodgson too early and the debacle that was Kenny Dalglish. I mean, they didn't kill anyone, but the club's support of one of football's most annoying and despicable characters in a racism row of all things was outrageous. At football level, that's as close as it gets to beating up a hottie.
And where are they now? Drifting into irrelevance, even more than Arsenal. Liverpool simply are not competitive anymore for the time being, whether it be in attracting top players or simply walking all over teams. They're the Chris Brown of the Premier League. They even managed to involve a court case to make the analogy even more appropriate. And, just like Chris Brown, the club still thinks it's entitled to greatness. Delusional to say the least.
So where do they go from here? Well, the only way is up, but it'll take time. Bringing Brendan Rodgers was a good appointment, but only giving him at least two years to learn from his mistakes and purge the team of mistakes from past regimes will ensure Liverpool are heading somewhere. Will he be given the time to do it? I truly hope so because Liverpool used to represent something.
His first steps have been both sensible and confounding. Sensible in the fact he brought Joe Allen and got rid of Andy Carroll. Confounding in the fact that he brought Fabio Borini (still young but overrated) and didn't get the help he deserved in bringing another striker.
More importantly for Rodgers, he will need players on his side. That's partly why Allen and Borini were brought to the club, but he's going to need the elephants to back him up. And those are Gerrard, Carragher (despite crossing the line into retirement in everything but name) and Suarez. These players need to help him and, in Gerrard's case especially, adapt their game.
 |
| Stop trying the Hollywood pass Stevie! |
Gerrard has a big role to play. For years he has delighted us with Hollywood passes, great goals and incredible leadership. Unfortunately, doing the first is detrimental to the new team and he's not capable of the second on a regular basis. This leaves leadership, and this is where Gerrard has to step up again. He gave up too soon and too publicly on Hodgson. He can't afford to do it to Rodgers.
It's going to be a difficult season, especially with players like Henderson still at the club. But if Liverpool do what they used to be renowned for (backing their manager and having an identity) then better times will come sooner rather than later.
THE TRANSFER REVIEW
I know we haven't talked about players who have left their clubs in previous previews, and most notably in Arsenal's (partly due to writing it before RVP left) but I have to say I find Rodgers' purge of Dalglish flops refreshing and justified. It was clear that Bellamy, Kuyt, Maxi and Adam didn't have it in them and weren't top class players. Of course not all of them were Dalglish players, but they still played a big part for Kenny. As for Carroll, the guy is just not good enough with the ball at his feet. Yes, he's young and he's a great header of the ball. But, unless you plan on playing a la West Ham/Bolton/Stoke then his lack of movement, pace, touch and finishing ability will count against you. And he'd be considered crap if he wasn't English. Nothing shocking about letting go an overrated player who can only fit in one system. Oh, and the least said about Spearing and Aquilani the better we breathe.
JOE ALLEN
I for one am a big fan of this signing. If Allen was English he would walk straight into the national side. Yes, that's a bold statement, but little Joe represents everything young English players should aspire to be. OK, I'm maybe getting carried away a bit, but Allen has many Xavi-like attributes. Spotless technique? Check. Tactical awareness? Check. Keeping the team ticking? Check. Keeping the ball (something which even Gerrard is incapable of)? Check. Small in stature? Check. A superb partner for a newly fit Lucas.
 |
| Allen to Liverpool: good signing. |
Worst case scenario: Lucas
FABIO BORINI
So the man scores 9 goals in 24 goals for Roma and he's worth £11m? And that's after being let go by Chelsea's reserves? That's exactly what's wrong with the transfer market. As you can tell, I'm not such a huge fan of this signing. OK, he's been called up to the Italian team, but Pierluigi Casiraghi was a mainstay of late 90s Italy and he was sh**e at Chelsea. It's nothing against Borini who, I hope, will prove me wrong and is still young. But it's puzzling to say the least. And the early signs aren't good. Definitely one for the future, even if he's going to have to play a lot this season.
 |
| Fabiuigi Borinaghi |
Worst case scenario: a faster Dirk Kuyt without the goals.
NURI SAHIN
Nuri Sahin is a typical case of 'it's hard to refuse [Real?Barca/Man U/Man City/Juve/AC] but I should have]. After dominating the Bundesliga with Borussia Dortmund and playing the Jurgen Klopp way, Sahin was tempted by the bright lights of Real Madrid and playing under Mourinho. What followed was a year of injuries and lack of playing time due to Sami Khedira and Xabi Alonso being mainstays of that team. Nuri even fell behing Granero (now of QPR) and Lassana Diarra (now of Anzhi and dead to me) in the pecking order.
So what does Liverpool get in Sahin? They get a ball playing central midfielder in the Joe Allen mould, capable of creating chances and goals as well as ably protecting the back four. The only problem? He's on an expensive loan with no clause to buy him. So he's basically a one-year rental. He would have been a much better signing if he had joined permanently. He will however help institute the Rodgers way.
 |
| Sahin: expensive rental. |
Worst case scenario: a smaller Bruno Cheyrou.
OUSSAMA ASSAIDI
Haa the Eredivisie. You have given us Robben, Kuyt, Kezman, Van Nistelrooy, Ron Vlaar (new favourite here), Afonso Alves. The main thing to learn? There's no middle ground once you pluck someone out from Holland. They're either good to very good or bad to absolutely incredibly awful. Assaidi? Maybe the first middle-gound player from Holland?
Capable of playing on both wings or as a striker, Oussama has had two good seasons for Heerenveen, with 19 goals in 58 games, also known as 1 in 3. Not great but not bad either. At £4.5m he's rather low-risk and he's playing in a position of need. And he's only 24 so not a bad signing from Rodgers. Let's just hope he's more Robben than Afonso Alves (FYI now banging the goals in at...Al-Rayyan. Bless you.)
 |
| Alves also came from Heerenveen (Liverpool fans collectively shiver) |
Worst case scenario: Stewart Downing
SAMED YESIL
I've got nothing against the boy (still 18) but I'm getting tired of signings like Samed Yesil. Sure he's only 18 and he's already played in the Bundesliga (albeit only one game). But Premier League reserves are crammed with players like Yesil, somehow bought based on their potential. And at the detriment of young English players. At best he will 'do a Borini', leave Liverpool and play at a decent level for another club. Rant over. But needless to say, I don't care about this signing. If he was THAT good we would have heard about him by now.
 |
| I typed 'random' in Google because that's what I think Samed Yesil is. Unfortunately, that's what came up. |
Worst case scenario: don't care
WALLY'S ADVICE
Give some players a chance
OK he had a diabolical season. He was so bad I can't even compare him to anyone THAT bad. That's how awful Downing was. But you're telling me he's going to be that bad again this season? Why, instead of talking about him as a left-back, doesn't Rodgers simply aspire to giving him confidence once again. I mean, he was overrated at Villa (just like Ashley Young) but he was still a very good versatile winger. So please give Downing a chance n consecutive games. If it doesn't work out Rodgers will be able to blame it on Dalglish. A win-win situation really, especially in a position where Liverpool lack good players.
Give confidence back to Joe Cole as well. I'm guessing he's refreshed and still has something in the tank.
And please give a chance to Shelvey (convincing against Man City), Kelly, Robinson, Flanagan, Coates and of course Sterling (which he already has). Not so much to Henderson. He is really that crap.
Hold senior players accountable
That means telling Gerrard, Suarez, Reina and Glenn Johnson when they've been crap, which has happened quite a lot over the last 18 months. And no need to talk about Carragher. Good influence in the dressing room, but washed up as a player.
Tell Suarez to shut up and stop acting up
Please do it Brendan. Pretty please?
 |
| Make him stop that. |
Keep blaming Kenny, but in a nice way
Because the guy really did untold damage to the club and made your job that much harder.
THE LINE-UP
In our view
Reina
Kelly Skrtel Agger Jose Enrique/Robinson/Johnson
Lucas Allen
Gerrard
Downing Joe Cole/Sterling/Suarez
Suarez/Borini
How they probably will line up
Reina
Johnson Skrtel Agger Jose Enrique
Lucas Allen
Gerrard
Borini Sterling/Downing
Suarez
PREDICTIONS
It is going to be hard season for Liverpool. It's already started badly enough. But, considering how difficult it is to implement a different culture at a club, Liverpool will pick up eventually. This is a rebuilding season. A disappointing yet good 9th considering all the shenanigans.
Welcome to Punxsutawney: The Everton Preview
(Having been quite busy lately these season previews have taken a while to go through. And yes I understand that these aren't really season previews anymore, what with the Prem having already played 3 games. But, with the transfer deadline now gone, it is easier to get a clearer picture. So I'll try and finish those. Next up is Everton).
I remember watching a film called Groundhog Day when I was a kid. It starred Bill Murray, Andie McDowell and other 90s actors. The storyline followed a cynical local journalist (Bill Murray) who heads to Punxsutawney to cover the Groundhog Day, when the local groundhog comes out of his home and, according to how he reacts, locals can predict the weather. And no, this is not a legend, this kind of stunt genuinely happens every year. You gotta love America.
Anyways, Bill Murray is a disillusioned jerk to start with, hated by his crew and everyone else who surrounds him. But the twist is that he wakes up after the beaver incident, and every day is the same day. So he tries different things knowing he can predict what's going to happen again. Sort of like a full feature of Craig Daaaviiiidd's '7 days' video. Ergo the term 'Groundhog Day' (and the title of course). Now back to the football.
Every year must feel like Groundhog Day for David Moyes: no money is ever available and Everton tend to lose their best players. The worst thing for Moyes/Bill Murray is that there is no Andie McDowell to target. Yes I just compared the Premier League to Andie McDowell (stupid debate: which one would you rather have?). But, in all seriousness, Moyes's drive is admirable considering the only possibility for Everton is to be considered the 'Best of the Rest' and finish 5th or 6th. And that's in a particularly good year.
It is easy to marvel at his accomplishments whilst at Everton. Since taking over from Walter Smith (a dour manager if ever there was one, sort of late 90s Alex McLeish), Moyes has not only brought unprecedented results to the club but also a certain playing identity. Sure, Everton might not be the best looking team in terms of the way they play, but they mix up the long ball game with intricate passing. In short, Moyes has found the right combination over the years between the muscle of Fellaini and Distin, the nastiness of Gravesen and Carsley, and the guile of Osman and Pienaar. It's an approach which has worked superbly, and makes you wonder what he would have achieved had he been given more money to spend. His signings of Beattie and Johnson for quite a lot of money didn't turn out to be amazing, but his capture of Fellaini has been inspiring. And no manager can always get it right. Just ask Sir Alex Ferguson what he thinks of Djemba-Djemba, Kleberson and Bebe and you'll see that even the best can get it wrong sometimes.
And contrast Everton's past seasons with their next-door neighbours. Whilst Liverpool have arguably had more (limited) success, they have also spent crazy money on players like Aquilani, Riera, Johnson, Torres, Henderson and Downing, and the majority of them have been busts. Moyes, on the other hand, has developed players like Osman and Hibbert whilst adding Jagielka, Distin, Baines, Howard, Jelavic and Pienaar for a pittance.
So where do Everton go from here?
Well, most importantly, they've got to be satisfied with Moyesy's loyalty and the lack of offers for him. To think that Tottenham got rid of Redknapp only to bring it AVB when Moyes would have been an ideal candidate is staggering. I mean, Moyes is a proven manager in the Prem (something which AVB is not) and talks a lot of sense (something which AVB clearly does not), AND he can manage a team on a (relative) budget. So kudos Daniel Levy for making as much sense as your new manager.
Everton can also be pleased that in Moyes, they have a manager who breeds loyalty amongst his own players. Apart from an overrated Jack Rodwell doing what is commonly known as 'a Wright-Phillips' (leaving a solid club to go nowhere), which will also be known in the future as 'doing a Sinclair' (no, not in that sense. Notice the 'a' between 'doing' and 'Sinclair'), no major players have left Goodison Park. More importantly, several players have come in for a fraction of the price paid by Man City for Rodwell, adding competition and flair throughout the team.
So all in all, a lovely, comfortable summer. As Gary Neville tweeted (god I hate myself for even typing these words. Anything which includes Twitter and Gary Neville gives me shivers), good clubs do their business early. And this is what Everton did, for once staying away from all the transfers shenanigans.
Everton might not be headed for the top of the Prem but, with one of the ablest managers in the game, and with a settled team, they will cause a lot of trouble around. They have become an example to follow. Perhaps their neighbours would do well to learn from them.
THE TRANSFER REVIEW
STEVEN NAISMITH
Whenever a player signs from the Scottish leagues, a huge warning sign accompanies them. This is due to the poor level of football up there. In terms of skills, technical and tactical, it compares unfavourably to League 1 in England. No kidding. I mean, Ally McCoist, Neil Lennon, Walter Smith and Alex McLeish (gasp!) all won titles in Scotland. How ridiculous is that! And to be honest I'd rather have my team managed by Di Canio, Karl Robinson (of MK Dons, great manager already) and others. It's partly due to these facts (and many other, but we don't have time) that Scottish football is seen as it is: a big joke.
So how does this apply to Steven Naismith? Well, scoring goals for fun in the Scottish Premier League is easy when you have two feet and a head. Just ask Michael Mols. But Naismith wan't even prolific, despite playing in a free role at Rangers. However, you can also see why this has the potential to be a great signing for Everton. Versatile, strong, selfless: Naismith represents everything Moyes wants in his players. And, as a free transfer, he is a typical low-risk/high-reward gamble by Moyes. Sounds like a typical sneaky good Everton signing to me. Especially considering Moyes's success with Jelavic. Nikica and Steven might be able to rekindle their Rangers partnership in Merseyside. Clever.
Best case scenario: A cross between Tim Cahill and Leon Osman
Worst case scenario: James McFadden and Bilyaletdinov's lovechild
KEVIN MIRALLAS
Honestly, I'm really not sure about this one, especially for a reported £6.5m. I remember Mirallas from his times at Lille and Saint Etienne in France. Moody, arrogant, inefficient, Kevin didn't exactly set the world alight. I bet you'd agree that 13 goals in 129 Ligue 1 games doesn't really strike you as prolific. We're entering Emile Heskey-at-Aston-Villa territory here. And whilst his scoring instincts suddenly popped up at Olympiakos with 34 goals in 52 league games, I'm also guessing that was down to facing goalkeepers like Charles Itandje and teams like Atromitos, Panionios and Athenatiopoulos (one of them is made up. Which one?).
Of course, there's also a lot to like. Still only 24, Mirallas had probably settled down and worked harder at Olympiakos, ergo his success there. He can also play on the wings, behind the striker, or he can lead the line and play on the shoulders of the defenders. A slightly more risky move than Naismith, but in Moyes I trust (despite not being an Everton fan), and his performance in the Capital One Cup raised expectations. I still have to see it to believe it.
Best case scenario: A more mobile Tim Cahill.
Worst case scenario: A smaller inefficient version of James Beattie.
STEVEN PIENAAR
Haaaa Tottenham. The classic player-waster club, especially under Redknapp. Kranjcar, Bassong and Pienaar were symbols of 'Arry's bulimic approach to signing players (nothing to do with signing-on fees 'Arry?). It's all good and dandy signing good players to make the dquad more competitive, but then there must be some sort of rotation to keep them interested. Unfortunately for Kranjcar and Pienaar, this meant being second fodder to Modric and Bale respectively. Nothing disrespectful about that, but still a waste of good talent.
So Moyes sniffed an opportunity. And what did he get? A player who loves the club, knows the system, knows the players, understands everything and is grateful for a second chance at a club he should never have left in the first place. Isn't that precisely what strikes you as a sign of a top quality signing? Oh yeah, and the guy can play too. With a free role down Everton's left hand-side, Steven will play liberated. And, with Leighton Baines, Pienarr will help form the Premier League's most fearsome left side. A great signing.
Best case scenario: an even better version of first time round Steven Pienaar
Worst case scenario: Steven Pienaar
BRYAN OVIEDO
Who? Fear not, my Everton friend. A 22 year-old Costa Rican left-sided player (that means either left-back or left-midfielder), Bryan has Champions' League experience with FC Copenhagen and has just been named 2012 Danish Cup Player of the Year. At £5m he might be a bit of a gamble, but that's not been value for a young player with legitimate upside and versatility. What's more, he should be able to settle in nice and slowly by backing up Pienaar and Baines. Probably a transfer for the post-Baines future (sorry Everton fans, it will happen!)
Best case scenario: can I say Paulo Wanchope? OK that's too far-fetched. Probably a young Middlesbrough Stewart Downing (when he played both LB and LM)
Worst case scenario: Lars Jacobsen
MATTHEW KENNEDY
Once again Moyes has tapped into the Scottish market, this time snapping up a 17 year-old winger with Premier League experience (14 games). Don't expect fireworks but a few seasons on loan, or simply developing in the youth and reserve teams, will help the young man. Another clever low risk/high-reward signing from the Everton manager. Too early to tell what he'll become.
WALLY'S ADVICE
Keep doing what you're doing
Honestly, what better advice am I going to give to one of the Premier League's best managers?
Maybe give youth a chance
One of the criticisms which perhaps can be aimed at Moyes is that, despite a great youth system, he has been quite slow sometimes to give a chance to his young players. But, with Ross Barkley, Magaye Gueye, Seamus Coleman and Shane Duffy raring to go, it could be a good thing to test them this season.
THE LINE-UP
In our view
Howard
Hibbert Jagielka Distin Baines
Neville Fellaini
Coleman Osman Pienaar
Jelavic
How they probably will line up
Howard
Hibbert Jagielka Distin Baines
Neville Osman
Naismith Fellaini Pienaar
Jelavic
PREDICTIONS
Partly due to the lack of serious competition, and partly due to their stability, Everton will finish an impressive 5th, with maybe a decent cup run to go with it.
I remember watching a film called Groundhog Day when I was a kid. It starred Bill Murray, Andie McDowell and other 90s actors. The storyline followed a cynical local journalist (Bill Murray) who heads to Punxsutawney to cover the Groundhog Day, when the local groundhog comes out of his home and, according to how he reacts, locals can predict the weather. And no, this is not a legend, this kind of stunt genuinely happens every year. You gotta love America.
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| Phil the groundhog is worried. Americans are crazy. And yes, the groundhog is always called Phil. |
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| Could this look any more like a 90s film poster? |
It is easy to marvel at his accomplishments whilst at Everton. Since taking over from Walter Smith (a dour manager if ever there was one, sort of late 90s Alex McLeish), Moyes has not only brought unprecedented results to the club but also a certain playing identity. Sure, Everton might not be the best looking team in terms of the way they play, but they mix up the long ball game with intricate passing. In short, Moyes has found the right combination over the years between the muscle of Fellaini and Distin, the nastiness of Gravesen and Carsley, and the guile of Osman and Pienaar. It's an approach which has worked superbly, and makes you wonder what he would have achieved had he been given more money to spend. His signings of Beattie and Johnson for quite a lot of money didn't turn out to be amazing, but his capture of Fellaini has been inspiring. And no manager can always get it right. Just ask Sir Alex Ferguson what he thinks of Djemba-Djemba, Kleberson and Bebe and you'll see that even the best can get it wrong sometimes.
 |
| Moyes: he's smiling because he knows he's awesome. |
So where do Everton go from here?
Well, most importantly, they've got to be satisfied with Moyesy's loyalty and the lack of offers for him. To think that Tottenham got rid of Redknapp only to bring it AVB when Moyes would have been an ideal candidate is staggering. I mean, Moyes is a proven manager in the Prem (something which AVB is not) and talks a lot of sense (something which AVB clearly does not), AND he can manage a team on a (relative) budget. So kudos Daniel Levy for making as much sense as your new manager.
Everton can also be pleased that in Moyes, they have a manager who breeds loyalty amongst his own players. Apart from an overrated Jack Rodwell doing what is commonly known as 'a Wright-Phillips' (leaving a solid club to go nowhere), which will also be known in the future as 'doing a Sinclair' (no, not in that sense. Notice the 'a' between 'doing' and 'Sinclair'), no major players have left Goodison Park. More importantly, several players have come in for a fraction of the price paid by Man City for Rodwell, adding competition and flair throughout the team.
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| Jack Rodwell: not necessarily needed but nice to have. Man City's ipad. |
Everton might not be headed for the top of the Prem but, with one of the ablest managers in the game, and with a settled team, they will cause a lot of trouble around. They have become an example to follow. Perhaps their neighbours would do well to learn from them.
THE TRANSFER REVIEW
STEVEN NAISMITH
Whenever a player signs from the Scottish leagues, a huge warning sign accompanies them. This is due to the poor level of football up there. In terms of skills, technical and tactical, it compares unfavourably to League 1 in England. No kidding. I mean, Ally McCoist, Neil Lennon, Walter Smith and Alex McLeish (gasp!) all won titles in Scotland. How ridiculous is that! And to be honest I'd rather have my team managed by Di Canio, Karl Robinson (of MK Dons, great manager already) and others. It's partly due to these facts (and many other, but we don't have time) that Scottish football is seen as it is: a big joke.
So how does this apply to Steven Naismith? Well, scoring goals for fun in the Scottish Premier League is easy when you have two feet and a head. Just ask Michael Mols. But Naismith wan't even prolific, despite playing in a free role at Rangers. However, you can also see why this has the potential to be a great signing for Everton. Versatile, strong, selfless: Naismith represents everything Moyes wants in his players. And, as a free transfer, he is a typical low-risk/high-reward gamble by Moyes. Sounds like a typical sneaky good Everton signing to me. Especially considering Moyes's success with Jelavic. Nikica and Steven might be able to rekindle their Rangers partnership in Merseyside. Clever.
 |
| No comment. |
Worst case scenario: James McFadden and Bilyaletdinov's lovechild
KEVIN MIRALLAS
Honestly, I'm really not sure about this one, especially for a reported £6.5m. I remember Mirallas from his times at Lille and Saint Etienne in France. Moody, arrogant, inefficient, Kevin didn't exactly set the world alight. I bet you'd agree that 13 goals in 129 Ligue 1 games doesn't really strike you as prolific. We're entering Emile Heskey-at-Aston-Villa territory here. And whilst his scoring instincts suddenly popped up at Olympiakos with 34 goals in 52 league games, I'm also guessing that was down to facing goalkeepers like Charles Itandje and teams like Atromitos, Panionios and Athenatiopoulos (one of them is made up. Which one?).
Of course, there's also a lot to like. Still only 24, Mirallas had probably settled down and worked harder at Olympiakos, ergo his success there. He can also play on the wings, behind the striker, or he can lead the line and play on the shoulders of the defenders. A slightly more risky move than Naismith, but in Moyes I trust (despite not being an Everton fan), and his performance in the Capital One Cup raised expectations. I still have to see it to believe it.
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| Kevin Mirallas when he played in Ligue 1. |
Worst case scenario: A smaller inefficient version of James Beattie.
STEVEN PIENAAR
Haaaa Tottenham. The classic player-waster club, especially under Redknapp. Kranjcar, Bassong and Pienaar were symbols of 'Arry's bulimic approach to signing players (nothing to do with signing-on fees 'Arry?). It's all good and dandy signing good players to make the dquad more competitive, but then there must be some sort of rotation to keep them interested. Unfortunately for Kranjcar and Pienaar, this meant being second fodder to Modric and Bale respectively. Nothing disrespectful about that, but still a waste of good talent.
So Moyes sniffed an opportunity. And what did he get? A player who loves the club, knows the system, knows the players, understands everything and is grateful for a second chance at a club he should never have left in the first place. Isn't that precisely what strikes you as a sign of a top quality signing? Oh yeah, and the guy can play too. With a free role down Everton's left hand-side, Steven will play liberated. And, with Leighton Baines, Pienarr will help form the Premier League's most fearsome left side. A great signing.
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| Pienaar: will either be better than Pienaar or as good as Pienaar. |
Worst case scenario: Steven Pienaar
BRYAN OVIEDO
Who? Fear not, my Everton friend. A 22 year-old Costa Rican left-sided player (that means either left-back or left-midfielder), Bryan has Champions' League experience with FC Copenhagen and has just been named 2012 Danish Cup Player of the Year. At £5m he might be a bit of a gamble, but that's not been value for a young player with legitimate upside and versatility. What's more, he should be able to settle in nice and slowly by backing up Pienaar and Baines. Probably a transfer for the post-Baines future (sorry Everton fans, it will happen!)
Best case scenario: can I say Paulo Wanchope? OK that's too far-fetched. Probably a young Middlesbrough Stewart Downing (when he played both LB and LM)
Worst case scenario: Lars Jacobsen
MATTHEW KENNEDY
Once again Moyes has tapped into the Scottish market, this time snapping up a 17 year-old winger with Premier League experience (14 games). Don't expect fireworks but a few seasons on loan, or simply developing in the youth and reserve teams, will help the young man. Another clever low risk/high-reward signing from the Everton manager. Too early to tell what he'll become.
WALLY'S ADVICE
Keep doing what you're doing
Honestly, what better advice am I going to give to one of the Premier League's best managers?
Maybe give youth a chance
One of the criticisms which perhaps can be aimed at Moyes is that, despite a great youth system, he has been quite slow sometimes to give a chance to his young players. But, with Ross Barkley, Magaye Gueye, Seamus Coleman and Shane Duffy raring to go, it could be a good thing to test them this season.
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| Ross Barkley: tipped for big things. |
THE LINE-UP
In our view
Howard
Hibbert Jagielka Distin Baines
Neville Fellaini
Coleman Osman Pienaar
Jelavic
How they probably will line up
Howard
Hibbert Jagielka Distin Baines
Neville Osman
Naismith Fellaini Pienaar
Jelavic
PREDICTIONS
Partly due to the lack of serious competition, and partly due to their stability, Everton will finish an impressive 5th, with maybe a decent cup run to go with it.
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