Wally with a Brolly

'Nobody puts Mancini in the corner'

THE TRANSFER REVIEW

Man City's ins and outs is like reading a 'Who's Who' of failures. Out of the club are Adebayor, Bridge (he still plays football!), Owen Hargreaves, Adam Johnson, Stuart Taylor, Vladimir Weiss, Nigel de Jong, Stefan Savic, Dedryck Boyata and Roque Santa Cruz. Only De Jong can be considered a success at Man City. A few of these players could have gone on to become very valuable players at the club if patience was a virtue at the Etihad. Yes I'm thinking of you Adam Johnson. No, not you Stefan Savic. The rest are a mixed bunch of flops and overpaid average players. So let's consider who's come in.

JACK RODWELL

Let's consider the ipad. Let's be honest: who needs an ipad? They're expensive, and all they do is basically combine an ipod with a laptop. But it looks nice and snazzy. So people buy it. People who have laptops and ipods buy ipads. They also buy iphones, but that's another issue. You don't need an ipad when you have all those things, but it's some sort of statement to have one. And this is where Steve Jobs was a genius (a commercial, money-grabbing, black turtle-neck-wearing-jumper-scumbag-genius). And this is where we're all suckers. because we buy ipads and iphones when we don't need them.

Jack Rodwell is Man City's ipad. Overrated and not needed at that club (you had de Jong for goodness sake!). But it's a statement to buy a player who is supposedly the Rio Ferdinand of the future despite never playing centre-back. It's a statement to buy a player you're not going to play much, just to say you can. I sort of understand it somehow, especially when you consider ipads and the fact we're talking about football. After all, why did Man Utd buy Phil Jones when they had Chris Smalling heading there? Clubs do it all the time. 

However, if you're Rodwell, seeing Adam Johnson head out as you're signing your contract should be a warning sign. You might have a burgeoning reputation but that doesn't mean you're going to play. You think Adam Johnson thought in 2010 that he'd be playing for Sunderland in 2012? Where is Rodwell going to be in 2014?

This might be a Sunderland banner but it could read 'This is what Man City does to you'. Adam Johnson: what Rodwell should have considered.

Best case scenario: A cross between Gareth Barry and Yaya Touré
Worst case scenario: Stefan Savic and de Jong's lovechild.

JAVI GARCIA

It was actually pretty reassuring to see Javi Garcia come to Man City for a disproportionate amount of money (£16m!). It meant that Man City didn't get Javi Martinez of Bilbao. It also meant that they weren't willing to stump up the cash as they used to. Maybe the Financial Fair Play rules are causing concern. And that's good.
Anyway, back to Javi Garcia. What Man City got is a solid holding midfielder, which sounds ridiculous considering they let go of de Jong and bought Rodwell already. But Javi Garcia has pedigree which Rodwell doesn't have: a solid few years learning the ropes and eventually playing over 20 games for Real Madrid, Champions' League experience with Benfica and even a cap with Spain. I've got to say that's pretty solid.
But will Javi Garcia play? He's facing enormous competitiveness at his position and has never played in the Prem. It's going to be interesting.

An uncertain role to play

Best case scenario: the lovechild of Gareth Barry and de Jong
Worst case scenario: David Pizarro

MAICON

It's always good to buy a marauding right-back with no defensive skills, especially when you already have one at the club (hello Micah Richards!). Let's make it clear: Maicon was a beast. Now he's just porky. And he still can't defend. I'm sure Roberto will enjoy working with him whilst Maicon and David Platt will finish off the pies. That's not because David Platt is fat, it's because he speaks Italian and it's a nice way of bonding with Maicon whilst introducing him to local cuisine.
Anyway, it's baffling for ManCity to have actually acquired Maicon. After all, he is 32 now, coming on big wages and has never played in the Prem. And where is the sense in all this considering Man City already have Richards and Zabaleta (very underrated, solid defensively and good going forward)? Unless Roberto plans on playing Micah at centre-back. And that would be even more baffling.

'Please God, help me find a club where I don't have to play and can earn crazy amount of money'

Best case scenario: a more explosive Zabaleta
Worst case scenario: Man City's Winston Bogarde

SCOTT SINCLAIR

Sometimes players are ungrateful. Actually, instead of 'sometimes', I should have written 'often'. And if there's one ungrateful player out there, it's Scott Sinclair. Let's rewind back to 2010. After about 74 loan spells at lower league clubs (yes I include Wigan as a lower league club. Not much better than Blackpool), nobody wanted Scott Sinclair. The guy was 21 but was washed up; he'd never proven anything to anyone at a decent level. Rejected by everyone, he found his way to Swansea, an up and coming club willing to take a chance on him. It was a match made in heaven; Sinclair found a role which suited him in a team which played a style of football any footballer would like to play. An impressive debut season in the Prem followed with 8 goals and several convincing performances. Scott Sinclair had managed to claw his way back. And then he forgot who he owed for his rise, refusing to sign a new contract with the only club which put faith in him. He preferred going to Man City instead, not heeding the numerous warning signs over the years for English wingers going there. A sad tale and I for one will not cheer Scott Sinclair on the rare occasions he gets to play.

I couldn't put a picture of Adam Johnson twice, so here's Shaun Wright-Phillips to hammer home my point.

Best case scenario: Adam Johnson
Worst case scenario: Shaun Wright-Phillips (second time round)

MATIJA NASTASIC

Wow. That one came out of nowhere. My  reaction was 'Oh I won't get to see Stefan Savic again', followed by 'Who the hell is Matija Nastasic?', followed by '£12m!'. This sums up pretty much all I've got to say about this transfer. 26 games in Serie A for one of the worst Fiorentina teams of the last few years, and the guy is worth £10 (£12m + Stefan Savic)! Looks like Italian owners are tough negotiators. Nastasic for £12m and Borini for £11m. Talk about maximizing average talent.
So what do we know about Matija Nastasic? He's Serbian, so he's got to be tough. He's still only 19, so he's got age on his side. And he's not Stefan Savic.
Is it too much to ask for a Savic for £12m and Nastasic transfer in a year's time?

He's gone and I'm sad.

Best case scenario: Nemanja Vidic
Worst case scenario: Stefan Savic

RICHARD WRIGHT

Oh wow. Richard Wright is still a professional football player? I thought he was shooting some sort of pseudo-fictional s**t TV series in Essex. What is there to say about Richard Wright. He's been to goalkeepers what Francis Jeffers has been to strikers: an absolute unconditional flop. That's a nice way of saying he's incredibly crap. By the by, Jeffers is currently training with Tranmere after being released by Motherwell and Newcastle Jets (of Australia) in consecutive seasons. The only difference? A good agent for Richard.
It does bother me that the 3rd keeper spot is not given to someone from the youth team. After all, Man City have about 63 players under; I'm sure one of them is a slightly promising young goalkeeper. even if he's not remotely promising he'll still be better than Richard Wright.

Richard Wright trying to save a penalty for England. Yes, this actually happened.

Best case scenario: Stuart Taylor
Worst case scenario: Richard Wright


WALLY'S ADVICE
Keep your players happy
That is so freakingly obvious I feel bad even typing it up. With so many players and so many egos at his disposal, Roberto is going to have a lot of work on his hands. That should never mean, however, that Kolo Touré gets to start ahead of Lescott or Kompany.

Don't start with the 3-5-2
OK, it's worked out well for you in a few games. But you won the league playing 4-2-3-1, so keep that formation as it works wonders.

Who's going to play on the wings?
Nasri isn't a winger, Adam Johnson is gone and Milner is Milner. So, apart from Scott Sinclair, who's going to play on the wings? Or does that mean we're heading towards a system with no wingers?


THE LINE-UP

In our view

                                                                    Hart

Zabaleta                                   Kompany                           Lescott                                    Clichy

                                                Touré Yaya                        Javi Garcia/Barry/Rodwell

Silva                                                            Aguero                                                           Nasri

                                                                    Tevez/Dzeko


How they probably will line up

                                                                      Hart

Zabaleta                                    Kompany                             Lescott                                   Kolarov/Clichy

                                                 Touré Yaya                          Barry

Silva                                                           Aguero                                                            Nasri

                                                                    Tevez    


PREDICTIONS

Man City are still the best team with the best squad. For that reason alone they should finish 1st and it probably shouldn't even be a contest. It will be tight, they will be pushed, but they should win.