Wally with a Brolly

Back when QPR made an approach for Neil Warnock in 2010, they were becoming the laughing-stock of the Championship. After all, they were meant to be the 'nouveaux riches' of the division. They were owned by a group of incredibly wealthy individuals (Ecclestone, Briatore and Mittal) who considered millions to be pocket money.

But the club was a figure of ridicule. It had quickly become obvious that none of these owners were genuinely interested in their new business venture, at least not to the point of the usual modern football club owners. Worst of all, they could not find agreement on any issue, or even bother to turn up for a game. Which, when you think of Mittal in particular, is quite justifiable by the way. But anyway.

They had given the decision-making authority to a certain Flavio Briatore. You remember him from his F1 days: he was the guy behind the winning machine that was Michael Schumacher, and after Fernando Alonso. He was also a comically stereotypical fat Italian who bedded supermodels and instigated the Nelson Piquet incident in F1, which led to our dear Flavio being being banned by the FIA (Fédération Internationale de l'Automobile). What better way to become a joke than being run by an Italian Mafia-like figure? QPR certainly knew how to do it.

"What does QPR stand for?"

And yet, when Neil Warnock, he of the many grudges but also impressive managerial accomplishments, moved to the club, he brought with it an element of respectability and accountability. Here was a no-nonsense, successful (at lower league level) football man who knew how to work on a shoestring budget.

Warnock didn't only bring success to QPR, he changed the club inside out. He combined the essential ingredients to make fans fall in love with their club again: a dash of creativity to go with handfuls of work and sweat. If you're a fan paying £40 for a Championship game and supporting a long-suffering club, you don't want prima donnas and instability. You want players who will make you get off your seat because you're anticipating something special. And you want the traditional 'water carriers' who will give their all for the club and don't need to kiss the badge because you know they love the club.

Warnock: turned the club around

Warnock understood that perfectly. He knew he needed to build a team unit rather than a collection of individuals. Gone were the Matteo Albertis and other previous signings, and in came Adel Taarabt, Shaun Derry and Clint Hill, amongst others. Many of these players were unheralded and moderate successes at the highest level. But they bought into Warnock's vision and motivation.

Of course Taarabt got all the headlines for his wonderful play and petulant behaviour, on which Warnock seemed to thrive. But perhaps as important were players like Bradley Orr, Paddy Kenny and Ale Faurlin. The young Argentinian was another example of Warnock's astute management: here was a player he had not brought to the club, but he recognised the midfielder's talent and nurtured it, even when his transfer potentially caused the club huge problems.

Faurlin and Taarabt: two examples of Warnock's magnificent man-management.

And so QPR raced ahead and never let go of their position at the top of the table. And Warnock, with his collection of underrated and overachieving players, completed a wonderful mission and brought QPR back to the Premier League.

And so the likeable, if slightly angry, Yorkshireman had finally brought respect back to QPR.

But Briatore and co weren't done with bringing ridicule. They clearly saw the club, which they hadn't really wanted in the first place, as a good business now that the Premier League was knocking at the door. QPR finally had potential; it no longer was a sleeping giant in an incredibly difficult league with no real financial incentives. It was now a London Premier League club, and people were willing to pay big bucks to get in on that act.

Warnock started trying to sign players with no money and no support available. The man was running everything at the club, shopping at Asda for players when even teams like Stoke were (at least) shopping at Tesco's, buying players like Wilson Palacios. Even Swansea, seemingly destined for the drop, paid £3.5m for Danny Graham. Warnock had no money whatsoever.

But he didn't complain, too happy at finally being able to run a club as he wanted, and delighted to be back in the Premier League, where he still felt resentment for the way his Sheffield United had been treated.

Warnock went about his business, looking for players with Premier League experience and something to prove. He was repeating what he had done the season before, but this time with Premier League players. He also understood the essence of his team, and knew that adding only a few players would keep the balance. His signings of Heidar Helguson and Danny Gabbidon were testament to his philosophy. Warnock had faith in his players, and thought that the dynamics of their promotion and their closeness from that experience would help them offset the difficult times of a relegation fight.

Mackie and Gabbidon: brought to the club by Warnock. And it was working.

But then Warnock lost his grip on the club. Tony Fernandes, founder of AirAsia, decided, after failing in a bid for West Ham, to buy QPR. Of course the man made sense; he was talking the talk of stability, even if he seemed to have a love for the cameras and headlines which was bordering on the obscene. With his takeover finalised only days before the end of the transfer deadline, he set about leaving the keys of the club to Warnock whilst giving him adequate support.

Warnock quickly continued along with his philosophy, bringing players such as Wright-Phillips and Anton Ferdinand to QPR, both of whom had a desire to prove they still belonged in the Premier League. Even the signing of Joey Barton went along with the thought process promoted by Warnock. He had built a team in his image.

And so the expected struggle for Premier League survival started. And QPR weren't doing too badly. January arrived and the club was still out of the relegation zone, hanging in there in 17th, even after a difficult run of results which had left Warnock seething.

But we could all see how this would pan out. Tony Fernandes had been struck with Abramovichitis. He had seen himself as The Decider. After rubbish talks of moving to a new stadium, of being chummy with QPR fans on Twitter (eugh) and of giving ridiculous interviews on Sky Sports News showing his loyalty to Warnock, he had decided he'd had enough. He was, after all, a businessman. He had built AirAsia from scratch you see. So he knew how to handle business. And sacking Warnock was a business decision you see. It made so much sense from a business point of view. Except, from a football point of view, it clearly didn't.

(inside voice) "Deary me I'm going to get the sack soon aren't I?"

Fernandes was seeing bigger and better. Forget the fact that Warnock knew better than anyone that settling in the Premier League is a gradual evolution, and that the club had been in a perilous state before. Forget the fact that his players were playing for their manager and for their club with great passion. Tony had had enough, he owned the club, and that was that. Tony had stars in his eyes and wanted better.

So he went for Mark Hughes. He was the perfect manager for the QPR Fernandes envisioned. Here was an overrated manager who had never revolutionised a club wherever he'd been and had never really achieved anything in charge of a Premier League. And don't tell me his time at Blackburn was an incredible success. Sam Allardyce did as well there. And don't get me started on Hughesy's shambolic time at Man City. People criticise Mancini but he's been the Guardiola to Hughes's Steve Kean at Man City. Seriously. More importantly, he was a pushover, an easy prey to Fernandes's megalomania.

QPR were starting to become a laughing stock again, from the owner mentioning unachievable objectives to the manager stating that he had come to QPR for 'the project' which he seemingly couldn't find at Fulham before that. Hughes had swapped a stable club where the owner backs his managers to one where a schoolboy was his new boss and had just sacked his predecessor, a man who had done more for the club than anyone in the last 20 years, because QPR were 17th. If that doesn't sound fishy to you, then I don't know what does.

"I'm here for the long-term project." Of course you are Mark. Except there was a better one in the neighbourhood already. You know, the one you left for this laughable situation. And how's the job search going?

And yet QPR survived despite an incredibly tough run-in. But once again, none of the players Hughes had brought to the club accomplished anything (I'm looking at you Zamora). Only the Jamie Mackies and Shaun Derrys produced any semblance of pride in their performances and helped lift QPR out of relegation.

But at least QPR were still in the Premier League. Mark Hughes was talking long term, Fernandes was talking about learning from his mistakes. It all seemed to make sense again, and ridicule should have disappeared. But it only got worse.

In the summer of 2012, QPR embarked on a transfer policy which lacked any direction and any coherence. Hughes and Fernandes bought left, right and centre. Everyone was welcome. From Hughes favourites (Andy Johnson) to overrated, old Premier League players (Park, Rob Green, José Bosingwa), QPR bought and didn't look at their product. They even added expensive imports (Granero and Julio Cesar). The goalkeeper situation was emblematic of the stupidity of QPR's transfer policy, after Hughes bought Julio Cesar only weeks after bringing Green to the club. Kudos on how to destroy your players' confidence. That's no way to create team unity Mark. Just saying.

Mackie surrounded by opportunists: QPR's sad story.

Each player's status was up in the air. But Fernandes was satiated. He had his 'big names' (haha) and thought the club finally had a Premier League look about it. Sorry Tony, your club was becoming a joke.

It was all too predictable after that. Players who had never played together could not put 3 passes together, the summer signings were actually crap (we all knew that before they signed) and Hughes, that manager of no tactical creativity whatsoever, couldn't find a solution. We kept being told that QPR were going to put it together and that they 'needed time'. That's relegation talk for 'we're screwed' by the way.

Once again, the only players giving a damn and performing were the Warnock signings. Clint Hill and Shaun Derry, them again, were giving their heart and soul for their club and running their socks off. Adel Taarabt was the only creative spark, albeit intermittently. Jamie Mackie led the line. Only Julio Cesar performed well out of the new players.

And we all knew where that was heading. Even Hughes knew it. His time was up. Fernandes didn't want to assume responsibility for the mess he had helped create. And so he sacked his manager. It was all a classic tale.

And once again Fernandes and QPR went in search of respectability. And he thought he found it in 'Arry Redknapp. But that didn't strike anyone as showing QPR was an established Premier League club. Quite the opposite actually. Redknapp only took over at relegation-threatened clubs. Even Tottenham had been in danger when he took over at White Hart Lane. And it was clear to everyone that Redknapp was comppletely detached from the fate of the club. It was obvious from the start that this was a win-win for Jamie's dad. If QPR go down, it's Hughes's fault. If they stay up he's a magician.


But the self-publicising Fernandes was delighted; he had an established manager (another one) at the helm. And he was forced to back him up.

And so forget about the fact QPR are down there because of squad instability, and that no contract has any relegation clause (apparently). Forget the fact that Redknapp will only add to that, buying Remy for a reported £8m and £80,000 a week, and tabling ridiculous bids for Samba and old boy Crouchy (again, great tactical acumen!).

"I'm staying until June, I'm taking the money in and then I'm getting the hell out of here."

It's a sad state of affairs now at QPR. Shambolic management at all levels has left the club in dire straits.

For I remember a team which gambled heavily to ensure Premier League survival, led by a crazy chairman. They did survive, then they went down, and now they've only recently come back to the fore thanks to a brilliant cup run. Problem is, they're in League Two now, they can't pay their debts and the survival of the club itself was at stake before that miraculous cup run. I give you Bradford.

Remember what players (and contarcts) like Carbone did to Bradford?

QPR are the new Bradford. They've become a joke. They're heading nowhere, surrounded by a majority of people who hold no loyalty to the club. And yet only Tony blindly (wilfully?) goes on, leaving his daydream and playing with his toy. But, unlike a 5 year-old, when the toy will break (because it will), he'll have to assume responsibility. One can only hope so, for QPR's sake. A club is in real danger. Premier League survival is not really the issue, long-term survival is.