Wally with a Brolly

Hello boys and girls. It's international football week, so we decided to ask the members of the Round Table a wide range of questions. Enjoy.

1- There are no Premier League clubs in the quarter-finals of the Champions League for the first time in 18 years. Is that due to a decline in the Premier League's quality? What are your views on it?

Westy: I don’t think we can deny that the EPL is nowhere near as good as it has been. Yes, you can argue that Chelsea won the Champions League last year, but they got very fortunate against both Barcelona and Bayern. Not to say that there’s no pride for winning through sheer guts, but the claim that they are ‘the best in Europe’ is just a tad ridiculous. Equally, Man Utd, despite Fergie’s claims, are in the worst shape they have been for a long time. About 5 years ago, players such as Valencia and Nani wouldn’t have had a look in, and whilst I love a ball-playing midfielder, Carrick is not good enough to win European titles.

Nani and Valencia: symbols of Utd's and Premier League teams' European decline.

Chaka Demus: I don't think it is due to a decline in quality in the Premier League overall but more specific problems at each club. Arsenal just aren't good enough. They have sold 4 or 5 really top drawer players in the past few years and have brought in distinctly average replacements. As much as they try to deny it, I can't help but think that the circus that is Chelsea football club has adversely affected their performances this year. As happy as I was for an English club to win it last year; let's face it - they didn't deserve it (sorry Cam). Man City have sh*t the bed all-round this year and just weren't at the races even in the early stages of the competition. The only team I think SHOULD have made it to the quarters was Utd. They were unlucky to come up against Real so early on and the referee's decision to send off Nani was atrocious. I don't care what Roy Keane thinks. It was laughable. And if they had had 11 men I think they would've won.

KD: I personally don't believe that the Premier League quality has necessarily reduced, just that the leagues on the continent have improved and the difference in quality between the top clubs in each league is now relatively small. The Bundesliga, for example, was nowhere near as competitive in Europe as it is now, and the top Italian clubs are finally all performing again, after a few years of struggle, especially following the match fixing nonsense! In my opinion Manchester United were robbed, but I do like Mourinho's Madrid. Chelsea, also should be doing better than Europa League strugglers with their squad.

The rise of the Bundesliga

Bappo: The Premier League is not as good as it's made out to be. Yes, it's probably the most entertaining (although the Bundesliga shows great football) and it definitely has got great players. But there is no tactical sense in the UK. Teams set out with a formation and then completely disregard it after a couple of minutes, apart from Stoke who stick to a rigid 4-4-2 and never cross the half way line. Spanish, German and Italian teams have much more tactical sense, and their managers are more astute. That's why you'll never see a foreign team go for a British manager. Especially when 'Arry Redknapp is considered a demi-god even though he knows nothing about tactics. Same for Wenger. Next time he wants to play a high line against Tottenham or any team with rapid wingers, I'll tear my hair off. So no surprise that the Premier League teams have finally been found out. Everyone else is getting better whilst the Premier League is getting complacent.

2- International football this week. If you had to choose your England starting XI today, who would be in it?

Westy: GK: Hart - still the best out there for me, even though he’s had his detractors. In any case, you just have to stick with your keeper.

DR: Micah Richards
DL: Cole
DC: Rio
DC: Phil Jones

Some bold calls here, but we need to blood the youngsters, and whilst Micah may be unpolished, he also has the pace and drive that nobody else shows. Jones may well end up as a midfielder, but for the moment, we are so lacking in decent centre-backs that he should get a look in.

Phil Jones: Westy's bold call.

MR: Milner
MC: Wilshere
MC: Gerrard
ML: Baines
AMC: Rooney
ST: Welbeck

Nobody will ever convince me that Rooney shouldn’t play for England - he is one of the few genuinely creative players that we have and links up well with Danny Welbeck. Baines at LM is something that a few people have suggested and I can’t see us losing at all, especially given that it would counteract our slightly weaker right side. I also actually quite like James Milner as he gives the others a bit more freedom.

Controversial to say the least!

Chaka Demus: GK - Foster (time for a break for Joe Hart - too many errors all-round this year)
RB - Glen Johnson (admittedly better attacking that defending but I don't see anyone to challenge his place at the moment)
CB - Michael Dawson
CB - Phil Jagielka (I think these 2 have performed consistently for their clubs this season)
(I would've chosen Rio but he has bailed because his back hurts - poor Rio) Sad face. Also, where has Joleon Lescott gone?
LB - Ashley Cole - still the best we have (sorry Leighton)
RM - THEO!
Attacking Mid - Leon Osman (a bit of a late starter but deservedly chosen by Roy for the upcoming games. A man of the people and distinctly underrated for a long time)
Attacking Mid - Fat Frank (200 goals for Chelsea - nuff' said)
Defensive Mid - Stevie G (sitting in front of the defense, spraying outrageous passes 50 yards, free-kick duty from wide areas, the occasional marauding run up the pitch - you know how he is!)
LM - James Milner. My word, doesn't he work hard, young man. I guess Ashley Young is the more obvious choice but I just can't stand the boy. I'd rather see a lesser-skilled player work hard and come off the pitch barely breathing than some nancy boy dive and whine and prance about).
Hopefully we'll see Wilfried Zaha out in this position sometime soon as well.
A - Danny "Wesley Snipes" Welbeck - has been excellent most of this season and always runs his socks off

Ready to tear that defence apart for England.

KD: GK: Joe Hart
RB: Kyle Walker
CB: Rio Ferdinand
CB: Michael Dawson
LB: Ashley Cole
CM: Michael Carrick
CM: Frank Lampard
RM: Theo Walcott
LM: Danny Welbeck
AM: Steven Gerrard
ST: Wayne Rooney

Bappo: GK: Joe Hart - even though he's not as good as people think (or he thinks)
RB: Glen Johnson - because he's better than anyone else England has at that position. He's of course better than Micah Richards. And he doesn't screw up for England.
CB: Steven Caulker - One of the best ball playing centre-backs England have, and he's still only 21. Give hi, a run. Rio is arrogant, can't play 2 games in 5 days and is not as good as he once was.
CB: Joleon Lescott - because he's still the best left-sided centre back England have. And he was a rock at Euro 2012.
LB: Ashley Cole or Leighton Baines, doesn't matter.
CM: Michael Carrick - because he's the only English midfielder clever enough to play for a team like Barcelona. He's a European type of player. You need that in international football. And he values possession like no one else in the coutnry.
CM: Tom Cleverley - because he plays with Carrick at United (important) and, even though he's not amazing, can still pass the ball around. He's also a very dynamic player.
RM: Aaron Lennon - because he's got great pace and is cleverer than people think. And he's better than Walcott
AM: Jack Wilshere - because he's already the best player England have.
LM: The Ox. I'd make him switch a lot with Lennon. Pace and strength down the wings.
ST: Daniel Sturridge - because I can't stand Rooney and Sturridge will improve.

Caulker: this time it's Bappo taking a chance.

Controversial, but let's finally give youth a chance, and let's stop picking players on reputation.

3- Have a look at the current squad. Who do you feel should never have been picked out of the guys Hodgson just chose this week?

Westy: Rio. The dialogue should have been there beforehand and it just looks embarrassing now. He is good enough, and Roy is right, but the FA have been left looking like mugs again... just like our namesake!

Chaka Demus: I don't really rate Chris Smalling at all to be honest. He generally looks completely lost all of the time. Gary Cahill has been very up and down this year and were it not for JT's retirement or Rio pulling out of the squad, I don't think he would be there either. Despite being impressive last year, I think the Ox needs to do more for Arsenal before he should really be picked for international duty.

KD: I personally couldn't believe that Roy managed to overlook Andy Carroll after such a prolific season.
In all seriousness though, I find Leon Osman such a curious addition to recent squads. I'm not saying he shouldn't be included, I quite like him as a player and he seems a fantastic professional, but where the hell did that one come from... Massive curve ball

Bappo and KD are calling for Carroll to come back.  #sarcastic #Ifeellikeadickforputtingahashtagbecausepeoplestillunderstandsarcasm.

Bappo: I'm flabbergasted that Scott Sinclair, Jack Rodwell and Andy Carroll haven't been picked. Roy really is a fool. On a serious note, Ashley Young should never be picked; he doesn't start for Man Utd, was completely found out at Euro 2012 and simply isn't good enough. Scott Parker is also VERY overrated; he just runs around sliding everywhere, and is clearly not good enough for international football. We all saw that at Euro 2012. Otherwise this was pretty much the best team Roy could put out.

4- Let's focus a bit on the Championship for once. Who would you like to see go up, and why?

Westy: Palace, to see Chaka Demus’ reaction and because I felt a bit gutted for them when they last went down. Also, I’d like to see Forest back, if only because we could put eight past them again!

Chaka Demus: CRYSTAL PALACE BECAUSE THEY'RE, LIKE, THE BEST TEAM, LIKE, EVER! OMG.

Seriously though, it's about time. Given that we sh*t the bed against Brighton on Sunday I think the play-offs are looming.

Hoping to see them again in the Premier League.

KD: Crystal Palace - I rate Zaha and would like to see him succeed this year (also, for Chaka). Brighton - I'd love to see Gus Poyet win another promotion because I like him as a man and manager and the Brighton 'gay' banter would be interesting!

Bappo: Crystal Palace and Charlton, for Chaka and Loz. And because they've got a bit of a history in the rem. Even though I'm no Leeds fan, it's time they got back up there. They really are too big to be down there. I know I'm only allowed 3, but I'd love to see a grudge Welsh derby in the Prem, and Cardiff, led by the likeable technical Whittingham, play good football.

5- Continuing with the lower leagues, who do you think have been the best ever transfers or players coming out of the Championship and below?

Westy: Tim Cahill and Phil Jagielka are the main ones that spring to mind, with Tim playing brilliantly in Millwall’s run to the 2004 FA Cup final and Phil being a rock for Sheffield United. Then again, for every one of them, there’s ten Billy Jones, the players who were supposed to be great and just weren’t... The Freddy Adus of the Championship, if you will.

"Who came up from the Championship?"

Chaka Demus: Ricky Lambert really is a monster of a man and has showed he is good enough for League One, The Championship and then the Premier League is consecutive seasons. Am I right in thinking he is the highest scoring Englishman in the league at the moment? Or is that Frankie "Super Goals" Lampard?

KD: Rickie Lambert has done very well for himself, and Southampton. Victor Moses has continued to develop and mature impressively and earned himself, in my opinion, a deserved move to Chelsea. I have been pleased with the progress that Shane Long has made since leaving Reading. Chris Smalling is obviously at Utd and had probably the most unbelievably rapid rise.

Beast.

Bappo: Any player Everton pluck out from the lower leagues. Even Jermain Beckford. That was obviously a joke. Tim Cahill and Phil Jagielka come to mind. And Chris Smalling, if only because he only got to Fulham by arranging his own trial!

6- The 6 Nations have just finished: what things would you take from Rugby?

Westy: The conduct of its players and fans. Simple enough!

Chaka Demus: Being able to hear the players' discussions with the referees. It would have resolved the Clattenburg debacle instantly and would stop players crowding the ref and generally being verbally abusive.

Instant replays/goal-line technology is an obvious one.

I know she's Welsh but I think Katherine Jenkins should sing the national anthem at as many football games as possible. Also, I would like for the female talent that goes to rugby games to go to football games rather than the 20-stone, pie-eating, balding, toothless monsters that you see the majority of the time.

Chaka isn't jealous of the sport, but he's jealous of Rugby's perks.

Lee Cattermole and the Stoke defence would probably like to be able to use full-on rugby tackles I would imagine.

Line-outs rather than normal throw-ins would be awesome.

Always passing the ball sideways or backwards - would be very popular with Joe Allen.

KD: Players get absolutely mash up and just getting back up, shaking hands, dripping with blood, and carrying on. The Tuilagi fracas rings bells! The sportsmanship and respect for the referee and each other.

Bappo: The ability to hear what the refs and players say to each other. And goal line technology. Simple as.

7- Back to the Premier League, and it's crunch time at the bottom. Which relegation battle do you remember most fondly?

Westy: That one from 2004 where there were 4 teams and 3 would go down. At some point that afternoon, every one of those clubs had been in the relegation zone, but a Kieran Richardson-inspired West Brom (never thought we’d say that... and never have again) clawed their way back from the brink.

West Brom's Great Escape. Or the last time Kieran Richardson was relevant. Or the only time playing Geoff Horsfield actually mattered.

Chaka Demus: I think it would be from our first year of Uni (2006/7 season). I don't even remember who was involved but I remember the final day being a very dramatic one!

KD: Hopefully this year's: Reading FC appeared down and out. Manager sacked and no one offering a glimmer of hope, Reading battled back from 4-0 down to win 7-4, a hat trick from Kebe and Le Fondre and a last minute Federici header keeps Reading up, at the cost of Aston Villa, on the last day of the season!!! Unbelievable Jeff!

Bappo: Fulham's Great Escape. A Danny Murphy header in the last game of the season saves the Whites after a Diomansy Kamara-inspired fight back had helped beat Man City in the penultimate game. You just don't write that kind of stuff. Not only was it great because my Fulham saved themselves, but I'm pretty sure no-one really wanted to see them go down. The same can't be said about Stoke (when it happens) or QPR this season.

Murphy rises above Distin to save Fulham. Unbelievable Jeff!

8- If you had to name the 3 best performing English players in the premier League this season, who would they be?

Westy: Leighton Baines has been superb and industrious as ever, even with his silly Wiggo imitation haircut. There aren’t many others I’ve been that impressed by, to be honest, hence my slightly bizarre pick for the England team! Rooney has been average at best, Cole has been sloppy and Gerrard hasn’t had it all his own way either. I’d have gone for Raheem after a sterling breakthrough (see what I did there...?), but he’s burnt out a bit. Not hugely impressed by our lot to be honest.

Chaka Demus: Frank Lampard. Aaron Lennon. Michael Carrick.

KD: Michael Carrick - quiet and effective engine at the heart of most of Man Utd's creativity this season. His best year yet.
Jermain Defoe : had a good season spearheading spurs' attack and acting as a foil for Gareth Bale
Theo Walcott: the boys had a cracking season in my opinion, considering Arsenal's many faults and failures. It's easy to forget he is still young.

Bappo: Leighton Baines - a truly incredible season. Everton's best defender and best attacking player. Superb.
Michael Carrick- so grossly underestimated it beggars belief. He's Man Utd's Sergio Busquets and he's been Fergie's most used player in the last couple of season. Doesn't that say anything?
Aaron Lennon - we always forget he's the best English winger.

Some man love for Leighton.

9- Gary Neville is now an appreciated pundit and assistant to Roy Hodgson. Even though he was always a bit of a c**t. Which other players have improved their reputation since leaving the game, either as pundits or managers? And which haven't?

Westy: G.Nev was always going to be a good pundit, but that goalgasm elevated his commentary to a whole new level. That being said, the Monday Night Football gadgets do look a bit ridiculous! Clarence Seedorf tops the punditry ranks for me after an excellent stint at the Euros, whilst Roy Keane is right at the bottom. Forcing out a stupid, biased opinion =/= Honest punditry. And honestly, his condemnation of the Nani tackle was just laughable. Alf-Inge Haaland, anyone?

Roy Keane default mode: exasperation and nonsense.

Chaka Demus: Robbie Savage. What a man. Majestic hair and stubble combo. Ridiculous clothing. Good pundit.
Michael Owen - SO BORING
Les Ferdinand - SO BORING
Jason Roberts - obviously still playing but a wonderfully eloquent man. The same goes for Vincent Kompany the few times I have seen him.
Stan Collymore - need I explain?

KD: Robbie Savage is an absolutely bell end. He was an idiot on the pitch and, almost inconceivably, an even bigger pleb off of it. He talks rubbish, looks ridiculous and just generally does my nut.



Bappo: I heard Clarke Carlisle commentating not long ago, and he wasn't half bad. Very eloquent. His stint on Countdown must have helped. I hate listening to all the BBC and ITV pundits. Robbie Savage is a clown, Lee Dixon and Gareth Southgate are idiots and Roy Keane is in a world of his own. And don't get me started on Michael Owen. Jason Roberts strikes me as someone who talks a lot of sense, but he'll be phased out so Alan Shearer still has his weekly spot. Finally, Ian Wright. That is all. Thanks all you TV channels.

10- An England game on TV, that means ITV. What do you think of their pundits and commentators?

Westy: Atrocious. From Clive Tyldesley’s love-in with his own voice, Andy Townsend’s complete inability to understand anything tactical, David Pleat’s confusion as to what the players’ names are, Gordon Strachan’s being Gordon Strachan, all the way through to Adrian Chiles’ random rants that nobody understands, they are just abysmal. Bring back Jim Rosenthal!

Come back!

Chaka Demus: It hurts just to think about it. I'd rather not say any more. The fact that Adrian Chiles HOSTS the bloody program says it all. If you look closely, watch for the red mist descending in Roy Keane's eyes whenever Chiles speaks. Terrifying.

KD: I've got to be honest, commentators have never really annoyed me that much. I couldn't highlight a specific commentator for a specific channel that irritates me. Maybe it's just because I'm too engrossed in the match, I don't know? The only lad that I have noticed getting on my nerves over the past few years is Graham Le Saux.

KD is not a fan of the man on the left. Don't know about the arrogant one on the right.

Bappo: Atrocious, simply atrocious. Andy Tonwsend has forgotten everything about the sport he played for years, and makes Alan Shearer sound insightful. Clive Tyldesley is always waiting for a quotable moment and gets more excited than Jonathan Pearce. Finally, I never need 3 pundits, let alone people like Dixon, Keane and Southgate, who can't agree or disagree on anything because they've got nothing to say and they're scared by Keano. As for Chiles, he's the expired cherry on that crappy cake ITV dishes out every time. The whole thing looks and sounds so amateurish.