Wally with a Brolly

As the season draws to a close and football dominates our screens nearly every day of the week, we're going to try to make this a regular feature, with the hope of this carrying on to next season. Expect the undoubted bias and personal grudges which Bappo has always demonstrated, just like the rest of the team.

Sunday

Super Sunday. Or the usual orgy of football on Sky Sports. I had decided to Sky+ 'Goals on Sunday' even though I hadn't watched MOTD for obvious reasons (Hansen, Lawro and Shearer? A close second to the ITV trio in boredom and lazy nonsense). This was to save myself for the gluttony of football to be aired for the rest of the afternoon.

And I wasn't disappointed. Spurs-Man City was a delight, but also a microcosm of both teams' seasons. First half clearly displayed City's potential awesomeness and why they won the title last year. Tevez was full of running, Yaya was beasting everyone in midfield, Kompany was assured and the defence was solid. Tottenham, on the other hand, were unsure and losing confidence. Bale was struggling, and Adebayor was doing everything in his power to remind us of how absolutely useless he is once he's signed a new contract. It was a classic case of Spurs feeling sorry for themselves as the season comes to a close.

He can afford to smile now.

And then the second half started, and Spurs, turned into a 4-3-3 by the underrated tactical genius that is AVB, suddenly looked inspired and dangerous again. Dempsey, Bale and Holtby constantly changed their positions after being granted more freedom, and Spurs were in the ascendancy. Of course, it really helped that Bobby Mancini seems to have an unexplainable faith in Gareth Barry, surely the most immobile and one-dimensional central midfielder in the country (can't run, no right foot), and that Yaya Touré decided he couldn't be bothered anymore. Add to that Gaël Clichy's impersonation of Patrice Evra (the Premier League's laziest left-back when running back towards his goal) and it was a recipe for disaster for Man City.



City were torn apart by Spurs' enthusiastic running, and we once more got a glimpse of the exciting talent Tottenham have. AVB has changed many things at the club, but the biggest hurdle is the underdog mentality. When on fire like in the second half, Spurs are scary, and probably the best, most complete attacking side in the country. Change the mindset and you should have a title contender. For Bobby, it was another reminder of his own players letting him down. He's also been the architect of his own downfall this season: there was no explanation for signing Scott Sinclair in the summer, and his appearance was just comical. I'm not even sure he touched the ball. All in all though, a very pleasant game, and another sign that AVB is guiding Spurs in the right direction.

I then settled down to watch the Liverpool-Chelsea game, or the return of Rafa Benitez to Anfield. Yawn. If ever we saw that Rafa is an opportunistic potato, it was that game. Contracted to Chelsea, but open to offers from everyone. He milked that applause and it couldn't have been more obvious had he shown a 'Hire Me' sign to everyone. Desperate stuff.

'Which shirt am I holding up?'

Always good to see for me is John Terry on the bench. After his usual vomit-inducing declarations during the week ("There will be no frustrations publicly"), the man clearly pissed off Benitez who rightly reserved younger, more focused players for the tie. As to why Gary Cahill is still at the club, I'm constantly flabbergasted.

Rafa's only positive move at Chelsea.

Liverpool, on the other hand, clearly thought this was going to be an easy win. Otherwise, how would you explain the presence of Jordan Henderson AND Stewart Downing in the starting XI? I mean, Downing's been ok. But Henderson as the central attacking midfielder, when Coutinho is also starting? That's borderline criminal.

We were treated to the usual Liverpool: good on the ball (except for Henderson), relatively solid, but so dependent on Suarez for a spark it's not even funny anymore. People talk about the Messi dependence at Barcelona (which is only partly true), but Liverpool would be just above Stoke were it not for Luis Suarez. No joke.

The first half was, frankly, quite boring. Apart from Oscar's decent header, nothing really happened. Decent possession from both sides, but that was it really.

The second half was much better. The introduction of Sturridge obviously helped. Of course. What were you thinking Brendan, you football philosopher? And to sacrifice Coutinho instead of the hapless Henderson? Shocking. But at least Sturridge came on, scored and shifted the momentum.

It was then Suarez's game from then on. From handling the ball to give away a penalty to biting Ivanovic to finally scoring a 97th minute goal, it was all about Luis. In all fairness, the game probably deserved a draw.

Now let me get to Suarez's 'incident'. I didn't see it to start with, and even after seeing it, I can't say I totally cared. The most stupid part for me? Biting Ivanovic. Not the act of biting itself. Simply the targeting of Branislav. I'm sure Suarez forgot, but Ivanovic is a Serb. You simply don't mess with those guys. No kidding. They're tough. Suarez escaped a big one. And you know what I liked most about all this? Ivanovic not even uttering an 'Ow' and getting on with the game with absolute professionalism. Superb.

Woof

What DID annoy me though, was the the constant patronising and moralising which followed on the screen. Flanked by the useless Jamie Redknapp and the very good Souness, Ed Chamberlin clearly wasn't interested in talking about a game which had had great football-related incidents. I mean, a 97th minute goal? Exciting, right? No, not to Sky.

Jamie started straight away with the moralising, with his argument that Liverpool was seen as a reference in the world for its values, similar to Barcelona. Apart from laughing at the notion that Liverpool are seen as similar to Barcelona, I was shocked by the hypocrisy of it all.

The master of double standards and lazy punditry.

Don't get me wrong, Suarez's act was bad. Biting??!! What the hell? Souness put it perfectly by saying kids in prams bite at everything that come their way. Because that's what it is in the end. Biting. It didn't kill anyone. I'm pretty sure Haïdara would have preferred being bitten by Suarez than assaulted by McManaman. Just saying. A bite is not going to end your career. A bad, reckless challenge will.

Not only that, but I don't remember people being so vocal when Roy Keane ended Haaland's career. That was premeditated career murder. At least GBH. But here's Roy, still seen as one of the greatest (jokes) and a regular pundit. Despite having committed the most despicable act a footballer can ever do. Oh, and in related news, Joey Barton is still playing football. When he should be in prison.Just saying. The only difference between them and Suarez, apart from precedence, is that Suarez is not British/Irish. We don't have that proximity to him. Ergo, he's the devil incarnate. Shocking double standards.

Yeah, that's not worse than a bite. Roy's a legend, you know.

The moralising was an easy way out for both pundits. Especially as they're both ex-Liverpool players, just like Lawro and Hansen on the BBC. Seriously, what's up with that? Will we have unbiased opinions if they both represent the club?

A hypocritical ending to a great afternoon of football.

Monday

The Luis Suarez story keeps going on, along with the FA's sudden realisation that they'll have to ban him but that, whatever decision they take, they'll be heavily criticised for it. Never a win-win for the FA.

Meanwhile, football goes on, with the Man Utd-Aston Villa game. We all knew how that would end. No point in watching that game. Villa are relegation candidates, and they're going to Old Trafford. of course they're going to fold. Only 3 teams really go for the win at Old Trafford every year: Chelsea (because they can), Man City (because they should) and Spurs (because they're carefree). All other teams come in with a defeatist attitude. That includes Arsenal and Liverpool. I don't care what Fergie says about it. In fact, I don't care what Fergie says about anything.

So it wasn't a surprise to see Villa not even put up a fight. It also wasn't a surprise to see RVP grab all the glory and guide Utd to the win. Whilst I mentioned the Suarez dependence above, Man Utd wouldn't have been close to the title this year without RVP.

The reason Utd won the title.

Rooney? Please. And his stint in central midfield doesn't mean anything. he's not good enough to play there. Ferdinand? Who bailed Utd out at the start of the season when they were leaking goals left, right and centre (remember the 3-2 against Southampton? I do). Giggs? The fact he's still playing is an insult.

I know the numbers say otherwise, and that, somehow, Man Utd have roller-coasted their way to the title. But they have probably been the most functional side to do it since Mourinho's Chelsea. No inspiration due to the absence of wingers, no engine in midfield apart from Carrick (second to RVP in influence) and a shaky defence. I'm saying it through gritted teeth, but that's been one hell of an achievement by Fergie, who really is one of the best managers of all time, even if he's never revolutionised the game in ways Rinus Michels, Johann Cruyff or even Pep Guardiola have. But in terms of man-management, he's the best. After 'Arry Redknapp of course. Only joking. This title is as much down to Ferguson as it is down to RVP.

I seriously dislike Man Utd and Fergie, but I couldn't help but be impressed by their achievements this season. And then Evra got a plastic bloody arm out of nowhere and bit on it. And then Rio blurted out that 'Man Utd won it the right way, not on bloody goal difference.' And then I realised why I hated that club. Stay classy, Man Utd.

Stay classy Patrice.

Tuesday

Barcelona get taught a lesson, and football 'fans' rejoice at their demise. Idiots.

I've been dismayed by the constant 'Barcelona are boring' point of view. People who say that don't appreciate football for what it is, and certainly don't appreciate the level of perfection Barcelona have achieved over the years. I understand success breeds dislike (just ask Man Utd), but people should appreciate what Barcelona have brought to football in general.

Guardiola's revolution has brought to us a change in football philosophy across the world. Do you think teams like Blackpool, Swansea and Brendan Rodgers (surely a team on his own) would have adopted such pleasant types of football had they not seen Barcelona constantly winning that way? And isn't the Premier League, and football in general, better for it?

In 2004, AC Milan and Juve faced each other in the Champions League final, and managed to play out the most boring of games, settling it on penalties. Less than 10 years later, all four Champions League semi-finalists played vibrant, attacking and technical football, whilst teams like Malaga and Galatasaray proceeded to do the same. THAT's Barcelona's legacy. So please, some appreciation.

Having said that, I was delighted to see Bayern win that game. They've found the perfect balance between a core of homegrown players, both from the club's youth set-up (Alaba, Lahm, Schweini) and the Bundesliga (everyone else apart from Javi Martinez, Ribery and Robben). Sure, they pay a lot, but it's local. That's to be appreciated.

And it was a deserved success. Bayern pressed high, were strong in the tackle, and played the ball intelligently, mixing intricate play with direct football. Dante and Schweinsteiger in particular were the impressive underrated players in that game.

Dante: underrated. Great piece of scouting by Bayern.

People are surprised, but why? Bayern have been the most consistent team in the Champions League over the least couple of years. This was their 3rd semi-final in 4 years, with two of them ending in finals, including one they should have won, and certainly deserved to. So why were they always considered longer shots to the trophy than Man Utd (eliminated by the weakest group last year), Man City, Arsenal or Chelsea, who all combined to be quite dreadful. Yes, even Man Utd. It's biased and probably untrue, but I can say what I want.

As for Messi, he clearly wasn't 100%, and he was suffocated by the Bayern pressing. Does that take away all of his accomplishments? People have short memories.

1- Man City - West Ham. We've gone through Arsenal last week, now name who you'd get rid of at Man City after a disappointing season, and who you think should arrive.

Chaka Demus: Given the enormity of their squad, this could be quite a long list; however, I am just going to name the players that I know and should leave. Defenders: Richards, Maicon, Toure, Lescott - whilst the middle 2 might not be the youngest anymore, they are still all too good to be second team players. Midfielders: Sinclair, Rodwell - serves these 2 muppets right for going to Man City that they have sat on the bench all year but it is now time for them to leave with their tales between their legs. Forwards: Dzeko - is a very handy striker when he wants to be and like the others I have named, shouldn't be sitting on the bench waiting for an injury/change of formation to have a run out.

Who do I think should arrive? Zlatan - I'd love to see the big fella in the Prem. I know it won't happen though. It depends on who leaves but I think maybe a centre back to keep Kompany company (wahey!) and also a striker - Falcao?

Appropriate that he posed in the changing rooms.

Cam: Out – Kolo Toure, Barry, Nasri, Maicon, Tevez, maybe Dzeko and Lescott because they don’t play enough.

In – Lewandowski or Falcao, Isco, Bale, Chiellini, De Rossi all possibilities

Panth: Flotsam and jetsam could be City's new nickname. Perhaps an ornate, once glorious, piece of furniture now redundant and a little ragged could be their mascot. With this in mind Nasri, Dzeko, Barry, Clichy, Kolo T and Maicon to start.

True competition for Tevez and Aguero, more midfielders and a goalie to bring the best out of Hart.

Did I mention get rid of Nasri. The man offends me. He has such incredible talent but spends most of the time looking pedestrian!

Football Tom: The single biggest reason behind Man City's disappointing season has been their poor transfer dealings over the summer. Bar Nastasic - an inspired piece of business, none of the players who have come in have made a large impact. City's initial focus should be ridding themselves of deadwood. Scott Sinclair had an excellent maiden Premier league season but should find another club - for his career's sake and for City's. Maicon is past it and should leave. City also play their best football when they have a technical, fast and flexible font four (Nasri, Silva, Tevez, Aguero). For this reason, I believe Dzeko, despite his obvious abilities, should move to a club more suited to his style of play.

In terms of signings, City should focus on strengthening in the middle of the park and on the wings. Barry is getting older and Rodwell, as of yet, is not developing into the player he promised to be 3 years ago. Diame or Etienne Capoue  could be good cheapish options..If Sheikh Mansour is willing to open the chequebook, then Wilshere, Vidal or Rossi could be worth a bid.

Offensive strengthening is also on the cards - Robben is apparently available following Bayern's purchase of Gotze and I feel he still has a couple of good seasons left in him. Cavani seems to have been on the verge of signing for City for the past 18 months and could bolster their attacking options if Dzeko was to leave. Either way, there is little doubt that City will need strengthening (properly) in the summer months.


2- Everton - Fulham. Leighton Baines has been sensational this season. Do you think he'll stay at Everton next season, or will he move? If he does move, where do you see him ending up?

Chaka Demus: He'd be great at Arsenal but will they displace Monreal? How many more seasons does Patrice Evra have in him? I think Baines would be dynamite at Man Utd. Having said that, I think he is proud to be an Everton player and if Moyes stays and is given a bit of money to raise the overally quality of the squad; I think Leighton will stay.

Cam: He has had a top season and I do think he’ll move on to a Champions League side. I know Man U are keen, City and Tottenham will also probably make an offer. I can’t see him going abroad, although he’s definitely good enough.

Panth: A disgrace he wasn't among the player of the year list. Who did Hazard have to pay to get in there. Extremely talented player and has had good games this year but too inconsistent to be in the top 5 players in the league. The man basically hibernated once it got cold.

I guess someone always has to lose out. But It's just a shame they can't choose more than a token gesture from outside the top 4 and that was always going to be Suarez (rightly so).

Hard to say where he will go. Tottenham perhaps, possibly United? I wouldn't say no he'd be an improvement on Evra and with a few more years in him

The man needs to stop taking fashion and grooming tips from Bradley Wiggins he can't pull it off. Silly mod.

Wiggo looks good. Leighton? Not so much

Football Tom: It's testament to Ashley Cole's quality - evident once more in the midweek Basel game - that Baines is yet to impose himself as a regular England international. He creates more chances than any other defender in the Premier League, and his understanding with Piennar down the left side of Everton's attack is a joy to behold.

I believe he'll still be at Everton next season - Leighton is a bit of a home bird and apparently suffers from home sickness. He just seems so settled at Everton it's hard to see him leaving.

If he can manage to venture beyond Merseyside however, United seem an obvious destination. Evra has had a mini revival this year, but one still feels that left back position is up for grabs, especially considering that Buttner is far from the finished article. I'll be surprised if Ferguson doesn't buy another left back this year, and that left back could be 'Bainesy'.

3- Wigan - Tottenham. Martinez vs AVB. Who would you rather take as your new manager, and why?

Chaka Demus: Very good question. I think it would depend on the team they were managing. A struggling/developing team - Martinez. A team with a higher standard of players - AVB. It's hard to judge Martinez on what he would be a capable of with a top-10 side.

Cam: I’m a big fan of Martinez. I have been for a while and the way in which he has got Wigan to the FA cup this season is incredible. Hopefully he keeps them up and then gets the bigger job he deserves.

A lot of love for both

Panth: I think AVB has to have the edge purely because of a broader experience working within top class clubs. Although I do have a soft spot for Martinez. In a world of ranting managers, questionable player actions he on the whole comports himself well. Right so shag AVB, marry Martinez and knock off Benitez...

Football Tom: Great question and two very, very good managers.
AVB and Martinez share several characteristics: both place an emphasis on possession football played on the ground and usually favour a high line and pressing defensive game (sometimes to their expense, as Villas Boas discovered at Chelsea).  Refreshingly, they also show very little bias or prejudice in their player selection: age, nationality or reputation don't come into the decision process. If you're good enough, you'll play for them.

It's a difficult one. AVB has a marginally superior CV, especially on the European scene. His exploits at Porto were breathtaking. By the time he left, they were genuinely one of the top sides in world football (admittedly having Falcao in your team helps). Martinez has done more in England as his achievements with Wigan should not be understated. Ultimately, my decision would be based on the club in question. If I was a mid table team looking to push on, i'd plump for Martinez. If I were a side outside of the BPL I'd opt for AVB.

4- Stoke - Norwich. If they both survive, which team will struggle the most next season?

Chaka Demus: Sadly, I think Norwich will struggle the most...

Cam: Stoke’s dip in form has been worrying. Pretty much since the turn of the year, their form has nosedived. They were never the best away from home, but Fortress Britannia is not what it used to be and I do worry for Tony Pulis’ men.

Tony's keeping the hat on because he's losing his hair

Panth: I fear for Stoke. It feels like they have been found out a little this year, while also a suffering a slump in performance level. Perhaps if Pulis brings in new blood it might give them fresh impetuous. Otherwise they are certainly my choice of the two.

Football Tom: Stoke. I think teams are starting to figure them out, and beyond their brand of hoofball they have little to offer. Their win against QPR has probably kept them up, but I foresee a difficult season ahead.

5- Southampton - West Brom. Shane Long is one of those strikers who does a lot but isn't prolific. What do you make of these players? Any other come to mind?

Chaka Demus: I would take a Shane Long over a Mario Balotelli any day. The main man would be Dirk Kuyt - "HE WORKS HARD, BUT HE'S RUBBISH!". Loud Jon at his very  best. I would also say James Milner.

Cam: True he works hard… Emile Heskey springs to mind? Although he is apparently tearing up the A league!!

Emile: a tough act to follow for Shane Long.

Panth: It really reflects the almost autistic view we have of strikers especially in this country. I think he's a good player who will probably always be slightly underrated outside the circles inhabited by football aficionados.

Football Tom: I remember the unprolific but selfless centre forward being incredibly en vogue in the early to mid noughties, but seems to have died out in more recent years as managers, unsurprisingly, seem to have collectively decided that they want goals from their attacking players. This has partly to do with changes in formation: 4-5-1 is less popular now than it was 5-8 years ago, and partly to do with an overall shift to more offensive football (except Stoke).

A couple of examples immediately spring to mind: Heskey was a willing runner at Liverpool and perfect foil for goalhanger Mickey Owen, who got all the plaudits. As a Fulham fan, I also remember Zamora having a couple of successful but unprolific seasons where he was excellent at bringing people into play, but less good at sticking the ball in the back of the net.

But as Bappo has mentioned, the unprolific striker could be making a comeback. Shane Long always performs impressively despite rarely scoring, and Danny Wellbeck - despite obvious technical qualities - scores much less than he should.

6- Newcastle - Liverpool. We're going to make it simple. Luis Suarez: should he stay or should he go?

Chaka Demus: I think it's time for Luis to pack his bags to be honest. The Evra thing was bad enough but biting another player is just inexcusable. If anyone else in any other walk of life were to do that in any public place, you'd be arrested. Given that he's now banned until September; I don't think we'll be seeing him in the Prem next season.

Cam: Let’s put his biting, diving, racism and all round despicable behaviour to the side. He is a top quality player and will probably join a Champions League side when the transfer window opens.



Panth: Stay. He's pure box office. I want my football to reflect both the good and bad. It's what makes the game so endlessly interesting. Who wants a sanitised sport. Every sport has its scandals but football is particularly good at it.

Furthermore we all need a hate figure to rally around and spark debate. Am I going to talk about the rise of the inverted pyramid as the new tactical touchstone or the emergence of high pressing defensive formations while having a pint? No. I'm gonna talk about Suarez acting like a dick. 

7- Reading - QPR. Both are going down. Which one would you take next year in the Championship if you could manage one or the other?

Chaka Demus: I would take Reading as they are a team and a club with some kind of integrity and determination. QPR are an embarrassment.

Cam: Good question. Maybe QPR because although they will lose a lot of players, they do have a good financial backing from Mr Fernandes who does seem to be in it for the long haul. Cue him and Harry to bail once they get relegated…

Fernandes: consistency in being a clown.

Panth: Reading seems a far better run football club so I'd go with them. I respect that. QPR may have a seemingly bottomless pit of money. But who would be surprised if the arse falls out from under them.

Tony Fernandes seems to have a penchant for developing failing sports teams. Anyone who watches F1 will know how he's guided successive teams to last in the championship. The man has consistency i'll give him that...just the wrong kind.

Football Tom:  Reading, without a shadow of a doubt. They know the Championship, the type of players and tactics needed to get promoted from it, and they budget sensibly. QPR are simply a shambles: no apparent strategy, a lack of leadership, and a collection of individuals rather than a team. Tony Fernandes may know how to run an airline, but so far he he has proved less than adept at running a football club.

8- Chelsea - Swansea. This fixture will be remembered this year mostly for the ball boy incident. Which other moments do you remember as being outrageously stupid this season (or in the past)?

Chaka Demus: The Darrent Bent beach ball goal still makes me laugh every time I see it. The Graham Poll 3 yellow cards. That Frenchman, Cantona, karate kicking a Palace fan all those years back. Those are 3 that come to mind...

"Next one and you're off"

Cam: Ball boy incident was a shambles. Also the beach ball against Liverpool last season. Overall this season will end up being remembered for racism, an inconsistent FA and biting.

Panth: How about that classic doubles match of Jens Lehmann and Didier Drogba VS gravity and shame. Who'd have thought the underdogs would have won that match up. Football and its reputation really struck a seam of shit that night.

Thankfully my faith in football was reaffirmed when photos of Lehmann and Drogba sharing a beer at Oktoberfest were published in 2011. Throw in the fact Drogba is kitted out in Lederhosen and you have one of the most glorious photo series since Hugh Hefner managed to convince Cindy Crawford posing for Playboy was a good career choice.

Wow.

Football Tom: Well, one very recent moment springs to mind… Suarez carnivorous assault on Ivanovic defied belief (seriously… who bites someone!?-) and is probably the single most shocking moment of the season so far. It'll be interesting to see what Wally thinks of the 10 game ban handed to Liverpool's star striker, and whether it will affect Suarez' decision in the summer.

Bar those two incidents however, I can't think of too many outrageous moments in the BPL this year. We've had a couple of good ones with Dortmund in the Champions League, but all in all it's been two admittedly outrageous moments rather than a cascade of incidents.

But if you're looking for outrageously stupid acts in football, you should really focus your attention on a different continent. Here are a couple of incidents from the past couple of years in South America
- An Brazilian goalkeeper linked with AC Milan is arrested for the murder of his lover
- A Colombain defender kicks the team mascot, a living owl and promptly sparks a mass brawl
- River Plate fans unveil the longest football flag in the world, over 7km in length

Que loco! Luis would feel right at home.

9- Arsenal - Man Utd. Once deadly rivals for the title, how big do you think the gap is between these two now?

Chaka Demus: Pretty vast. Men against boys. I'd like to see Arsenal win this weekend but I don't think they will. Looking forward to hearing RVP's welcome back to the Emirates!

Cam: The gap is big. Arsenal must try and bridge it with a few top signings this summer. Spend some cash Arsène and don’t even think about selling Wilshere to Man U!

"Please love me when I come back. Just because I won something shouldn't make you hate me..."

Panth: Champions!! I could mention the fact Giggs has won as many titles as Arsenal but that would confirm how annoying all Man Utd fans are (we definitely are). Regardless though united are streets ahead. Van Persie's move is symbolic of the two clubs current positions. Arsenal may narrow the gap next year but they certainly won't bridge it.

The moment on Sunday where arsenal clap united on to the pitch while forming a guard of honour will be a depressing sight for Arsenal once great challengers of ours. In all seriousness I do miss those halcyon days when United-Arsenal games were like watching two finely poised and highly skilled ballet dancers kicking the shit out of each other with dynamite tipped shoes. 

Football Tom:  Large but not insurmountable. I am starting to wonder whether I might be the eternal Arsenal optimist, but in my mind the north london club has all the foundations to succeed: a sustainable financial model (a la Dortmund/Bayern - very 'a la mode' at the moment), a great academy with a large catchment area, a large London and international fan base, regular Champions League participation… Current players at the club aren't quite world class and it's been ages since they've won a title, but with a couple of key signings (please, please buy a recognised goalkeeper Arsene) they could compete.

We have to acknowledge that a large psychological barrier now seems to engulf the gunners, but none of these are unconquerable - just look at Spain, once perennial underachievers and now the biggest force in world football. All it takes is one moment, one title, and Arsenal could get their mojo back. In Arsene I still trust, just.


10- Aston Villa - Sunderland. If both teams survive, which one do you see progressing the most next season?

Chaka Demus: Sunderland. Unless Villa spend, spend, spend over the summer!

Cam: Villa are a very young team but Paolo really seems to have revitalized and rejuvenated the Black Cats. I can see him bringing in some big signings and building a solid squad which will be aiming for the top half of the league next season.

Still a mixed reception for Paolo.

Panth: Aston Villa. Hopefully. I dislike everything Di Canio stands for and I think (hope) it will all implode at some point. He can galvanise over the short term and can ride high on the new manager bounce but I'm sceptical over the longer term.

This comment of course now means Sunderland will push for a Europa league place next year.

I like what Paul Lambert is doing with Villa. He has had a lot to contend with given the club was stripped of most of its assets in the last couple few years. Villa better hope Benteke stays or all their young players come through ad hoped otherwise it would be another tough year for them.

Football Tom: Villa's young team are obvious candidates , if only because their team is a lot younger, and therefore has larger potential to grow. For many of Lambert's players, this was their first senior season, never mind first season in the Premier League: it was bound to be a daunting experience. Sunderland's case is more complex, their squad is older and seemed jaded, especially under MON. Both teams will need to add to their squads in the summer, but add in very different ways. Villa need an injection of quality and experience; Sunderland an injection of energy and creativity.

Whilst all newspapers in the UK have a dedicated sports section with a heavy focus on football, there is no such thing in France. For there is the Bible of sport in the country of Voltaire. L'Equipe has become an institution over the years, and it has often played a huge role in European football. L'Equipe's editor in the 1950's, Gabriel Hanot, was instrumental in creating the Champions League as we know it, convincing UEFA of the need for a continental competition. You can clearly understand why L'Equipe is held in high regard.

From creating the Champions League to uncovering the goings-on of the despicable World Cup 2010 French squad: L'Equipe is an institution.

As a multi-lingual group of people form the team at Wally, we have always been following L'Equipe. And something definitely caught our eye a few months back. L'Equipe had created a partnership with a budding journalist who seemed to write with great love and knowledge about the lower leagues and Scotland, from a French fan's point of view. 

Whilst the quality of some of its writers has been in doubt lately, the L'Equipe stamp of approval is still a great compliment to its journalists.  Wally therefore decided to investigate and, through the magic of Facebook and Twitter, was able to contact the creator of the blog in question. Romain was not only instantly likeable and willing to help, but his point of view was very refreshing. Considering he writes not only for L'Equipe but also for CNN and other newspapers, it was impressive to find Romain so approachable and enthusiastic. We at Wally are very grateful and hope you enjoy reading about a different point of view.

(His blog is also a gem. If you speak French, you can discover it at Kickoff: Le vrai foot sauce british. We can't recommend it enough)

Hi Romain, tell us why you've been drawn to the lower leagues even though they're unknown in France.

Originally I fell in love with Scottish football. I know, it's quite strange for a Frenchman. But I used to go to Benidorm nearly every summer. There was a Rangers supporters’ bar there and I was really impressed by all these people dressed in Light Blues! Their passion simply amazed me. Since then, I've followed Scottish Football closely and, inevitably with it, English football. I discovered the Football League, the non-League (Football Manager was a big help!) and I loved it! I’m a not a guy who love the giants. I prefer the underdogs.

Somehow, where it all started for Romain.

Maybe you will be surprised by this, but the Championship is broadcasted in France. Of course, it’s still relatively anonymous, but it’s popular among the real football fans.

Best and worst places you've been to? And why?

Unfortunately, 've only seen 5 games in England and Scotland. It cost quite a lot of money to travel before I worked as a freelance journalist (I’m not rich but I can report from the UK now). Obviously, the best place was Selhurst Park. I went for Crystal Palace – Hull City (4-2). Kevin Phillips scored a hat-trick but the whole game and the atmosphere were just amazing. 

Selhurst Park: "Amazing"

What feelings do you get from the French players playing in the UK? Are they happier than if they'd stayed in France?

Every time I've interviewed French players, they've told me the same thing :”It’s another world!” Most of them love English football. Of course, the wages play a major role but they like the environment (fans, stadium, and ambiance). You have some players, like Gaël Givet or Alou Diarra, who dislike their experience because they didn’t play. They told some stupid things in French newspaper L’Equipe. They were simply looking for excuses for their own failure to succeed. It was embarrassing really, unlike the majority of French players I've talked to.

Alou Diarra: 6 months after joining, he left West Ham blaming everything from the weather and food to Sam Allardyce. Never blamed himself. Don't listen to him, says Romain. He's not an accurate representation of French footballers in England and Scotland.

What are French players' views on football in the lower leagues? Is it much tougher than in France?

They LOVE it! It’s much tougher, of course. In France, the National (D3) is not fully professional. A team like Paris FC attracts 300 persons per game. You imagine the difference with Brentford or Leyton Orient, it’s just crazy! Moreover, Guy Moussi (Nottingham) told me the level has improved in the last few years, especially tactically and technically, because of the arrival of foreign players and managers. A lot of club in the Championship, League One or League Two have changed their way of playing. Look at Barnet, they try to play Tiki-Taka! With the British fighting spirit it creates a fantastic level.

Barnet: teaching Iniesta and co a lesson or two.

What would you say about the level of professionalism in English and Scottish lower leagues? 

If you mean diet and lifestyle, the British football still lack of professionalism. Ask Luke Shaw for example ;)

What has shocked you the most in following lower leagues and English football in general?

The number of away fans. Last week, I read an article about Truro’s fans. They’re bottom in Conference South but they still support their team, home and away. A-m-a-z-i-n-g!

Truro fans deserve our respect, and not only for supporting a team called Truro and living in Truro. True fans.

What have you loved the most about following lower league football in the UK?
 
Every week, you have hilarious stories all around the UK. Just an example, do you know who did the recruitment for Portsmouth in the last months [things have changed very recently]? The physio! I love it! I mean, the guy was inviting different players to come to trial, was the Chief Scout, and then he'd come back to being the physio as well. Incredible!

If you had to name some French players in lower leagues who'll do well, who would they be? 

Anthony Andreu. He plays for Livingston, in the Scottish First Division. He is a cracking midfielder with an eye for a goal. And he’s a top guy. Joslain Mayebi (Cameroonian) is a fantastic goalkeeper. He plays for Wrexham but he can challenge in the Championship next year. I like Farid El Alagui from Brentford. He was terrific at Falkirk last year. He’s a goal poacher and a real threat in the air. Top guy too. He was injured this season but he’s back now.

Anthony Andreu: Look out for him, says Romain.

Any players you have seen who have impressed you?
 
Eunan O’Kane, the Irish midfielder from Bournemouth. He has three lungs! He runs all game long and his passing is class. Jonathan Williams (Crystal Palace) is a wonderful midfielder too. I think he will play in the Premier League very soon. His energy and his maturity amaze me. In Scotland, Andrew Shinnie [who today agreed to play for Birmingham from next season] is really impressive. He’s Inverness' playmaker. He’s like an old fashioned midfielder. He’s not particularly quick but he creates space for his teammates. I love that kind of player.

Eunan O'Kane: The man with three lungs.

Which interview was the most interesting or memorable for you?
 
Sacha Opinel ! He has a fantastic personality. It was a long interview (three parts) but it’s a joy to read. Honestly, I spoke with top guys like Farid El Alagui or Maxime Blanchard (Plymouth). They were sincere with me and it’s very rare nowadays. One special moment was with Morgan Schneiderlin. I saw him for a friendly game in Switzerland, at Etoile-Carouge (Geneva). He gave me his phone number and I call him the next week. No answer. It was a Friday evening. Southampton played a friendly game against Wolves on the Saturday. Morgan was at the stadium (injury) and he called me. He apologized so many times, you can’t imagine. We spoke an hour and half, it was very funny. Last month, it was the same thing. He called me back because he was at a meeting. Even if he’s a Premier League player, he’s still human. I wish every player follow his example… Be human, not a robot!

Morgan Schneiderlin: A great guy. And, more importantly, not a robot.

Sacha Opinel Interview
Morgan Schneiderlin Interview

1- QPR - Stoke. Loic Remy and Andros Townsend have been very impressive since their arrival at QPR. But with the club likely to go down, where do you they will and should end up?

Chaka Demus: Loic Remy and Andros Townsend have been very impressive since their arrival at QPR. But with the club likely to go down, where do you they will and should end up?
I don't know that Loic Remy will stay in England to be honest. Could see him making a move back to La France. Andros Townsend - maybe Saints? I could see him working well with Pocheititttitinno.

KD: I think Remy deserves a move to an established, solid Premier League side (not Reading then...); I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up at Spurs next season, and I think that would be a good move for them both. I can see Newcastle being interested but lacking the hard sell. Either way, he definitely won’t be in the Championship! As for Andros Townsend, I wonder whether Paolo would be keen to inject some creativity to his wide berths and perhaps move Adam Johnson inside (which is where I’m beginning to think he may be more suited). Otherwise, I could also see him interesting the new boys, Cardiff maybe?

Loic is carrying Andros piggy-back all the way to White Hart Lane.

Bappo: Both should go to Tottenham. Remy is exactly the kind of striker Spurs need. Whilst I love the 'Touch-Boom' approach Jermain Defoe has adopted throughout his career, and even though he leads the line well (no need to be a massive donkey to do that in modern football), Jermain has been injured and is on the wrong side of 30. As for Adebayor, he got his big fat contract, so why should he bother? He's an expensive afterthought right now. Remy would be perfect to revitalise the team, and Townsend should be kept as insurance when Bale and/or Lennon traditionally break down. I've got to say I've been really impressed by both. Don't count out Arsenal and/or Newcastle making a bid for Remy. They just love French players.

2- Sunderland - Everton. Paolo Di Canio was particularly active on the touchline on Sunday. Can you think of any other over-emotional managers, past and present?

Chaka Demus: Iain Dowie could be described as overly emotional and exuberant at times. Martin Jol is another - he should really calm down a bit; for his own sake and others'. I miss seeing Mick McCarthy and his horribly broken nose yelling and spitting for the sidelines in the Prem I must admit.

KD: Well, for starters, his run up to the touchline was stolen straight out of the book of the Special One’s special celebrations. Where’s the originality Paolo! Whilst I can’t admit to having kept strong tabs on his career since he left England, Temuri Ketsbaia – current Georgia national coach – was an absolute basket case when he played for Newcastle. Cue Bappo posting a video of touchline board kicking...





Bappo: I always thought Steve McClaren to be an unnecessarily agitated figure on the touchline. Special kudos for his innovative approach in bringing extra gear to the stage (brolly, cuppa). Great improv from a great manager. I've got to say I'm also always delighted by Mancini's antics. He can go from relaxed (great hair) to absolutely berserk. And any man who screams "F**c you" to nobody in particular is a winner in my book. By the way, Paolo is a clown. 74 fist pumps when scoring a second against Newcastle? No wonder people don't take him seriously. Just don't give me some of "I'm not being considered as a serious manager" crap. You act like a clown, feel the consequences.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDJmKytrzIQ

3- Swansea - Southampton. Which is a bigger miracle: Swansea or Southampton staying up? And which team will progress more in the future?

Chaka Demus: This year I will say Saints because they are newly promoted. What Swansea have achieved in a few years is remarkable but I think, given their superior fan base, Saints will/should develop to being the club they once were. They'll obviously need a season or two to stabilise themselves though. The fact that they won promotion consecutively from League One upwards shows what a force they are - and makes Adkins' sacking all the more ridiculous.

KD: Shamelessly deviating off topic immediately, what is interesting is knowing that both Welsh clubs will be in the Premier League next season for the first time! And by the way, Swansea are definitely better than Celtic, and Cardiff are definitely better than Rangers. Back on topic: Southampton is the biggest miracle for me. Swansea have been steadily and consistently improving and have been very intelligent with their managerial choices when forced to freshen things up. Having said that, I suppose the same can now be said for Southampton. I think both will continue to progress under the respective leadership and will both become established top 10 teams (yes, I’m well and truly perched on the fence)

Bappo: The bigger miracle is Swansea staying up. Southampton have always been a big club and have financial muscle behind them. Do you forget they spent £12m on Gaston Ramirez and too much money for Yoshida (any money is too much money)? Jay Rodriguez also cost £7m. By the way, I seriously hope they get know as the Rodriguez-Ramirez Duo. Nothing sounds better than a partnership between two Spanish plaumbers. Swansea, on the other hand, spent peanuts last year, and only spent this year what they gained from the Joe Allen transfer. Add that to the fact they brought in a foreign manager and play a specific expansive style, and Swansea comfortably escaping relegation is a miracle. However, their ceiling is pretty limited, whilst Southampton have a lot going for them. In theory, the Saints should stay in the Prem for a while if they continue like this. I'm more worried for Swansea. The honeymoon will be over at some point.



                                                            3 cheers for Ramirez!

4- West Brom - Newcastle. When Romelo Lukaku returns to Chelsea at the end of the season, where should he stand in the striker hierarchy? And how impressed have you been with him this season?

Chaka Demus: Depends whether Fernando goes or not. Romelo will sadly be 2nd or 3rd behind Ba and Torres. Form and natural talent are less significant than price tag and weekly pay at Chelsea unfortunately.

KD: I have been very impressed. I think he should be considered the second choice. I’m sorry Fernando, it just hasn’t worked out for you. I want to believe that this recent (slight) upturn in form could continue, but I don’t.

Lukaku: hoping to come back to Chelsea to make Victor Moses look like his chubby little brother.

Bappo: Honestly, out of performances, he should come back as 1st or 2nd choice. Even though he's had a great start, I'm not sure Demba Ba is the striker to lead you to Champions' League glory. Lukaku, even though he's just the Belgian version of Andy Carroll at the moment (but already better), has the potential to become a very, very good striker. As for Torres, please get out. You annoy me now.

5- West Ham - Wigan. Arouna Kone, Di Santo or Andy Carroll: who would you take, regardless of the price?

Chaka Demus: I think I will say Kone as he is, in my opinion, the best all-round footballer.

KD: Ok, so after my relentless and merciless sarcasm of Andy Carroll this season, not many may believe me here. But, because my hands are tied by the options, in this case I would have to choose the big bumbling Liverpool legend. I do think Arouna Kone is excellent for Wigan but the truth of the matter is that both Kone and Di Santo are not only average Premier League strikers but, in my opinion, at their peak (Di Santo is young but I do not see him improving massively, personally). I still do feel that, whilst Carroll is generally pretty dire at the moment, there is potential there and, if anything else, he provides a decent foil for other potentially dangerous players.

In all honesty, a pretty good symbol for all three players mentioned in this question.

Bappo: A choice between a striker who's not the best at hitting the door (Kone), one with no striker's instinct (di Santo) and a donkey. I'm going to go for Kone. He's adaptable, runs his socks off, has clever movement, and his inability to take all his chances endears him to me. Di Santo should be playing in the Championship, and about 63% of his goals are deflected goals. He's not strong, not quick and can't shoot. A great striker. As for Carroll, we've been here before, but that man can only play for the Sam Allardyces and Tony Pulis of this world. Put it in the air and he's good. On the floor? He's got a worst touch than a majority of Championship centre-backs. Ian Evatt, take note and further your career by playing up front. You'll play for West Ham in no time.

6- Fulham - Arsenal. Who should Arsene invest in, and who should he get rid of, in order to mount a genuine title challenge next season?

Chaka Demus: Who he should get rid of: Fabianski, Mertesacker, Squillaci, Ramsey, Diaby, Arshavin, Gervinho. I am tempted to also say Giroud and Podolski - neither of whom have done at all well this year.

Who should he bring in? Cesc, Alex Song, RVP and, dare I say it, Samir Nasri, all need to be replaced still.

They really need: A genuine centre back - Chris Samba when he bails from QPR? I would love to see Chiellini in the Prem.

A top-class goalkeeper - Tim Krul, Michel Vorm, Al-Habsi, Mignolet, Begovic - plenty to choose from in the Premier League alone.

A replacement for RVP - a true goal scorer. Tempt Michael Owen out of retirement?! Lewandowski is a more serious option - but would he leave a team as good as Dortmund are now? Thierry Henry? Dennis Bergkamp!? ANYONE?! PLEASE.

KD: I love these questions. Get rid of, Sagna, Santos, Squillaci, Diaby, Park, Denilson, Chamakh, Arshavin, Gervinho, Bendtner.

To replace those? Some of: Ashley Williams, Fellaini, Gundogan, Sahin, Isco, Schurrle, Benteke, Lewandowski.

I enjoyed that.

'Wait. What? You're still at Arsenal?'

Bappo: There's too much to go through. It's pretty obvious who Arsenal should get rid of: Squillaci, Diaby, Santos, Denilson, Chamakh, Gervinho and Bendtner are amongst the top of the list. Personally, I'd also shop Walcott around. If you can get £20m, why not? He's not that great. Give a chance to Podoslki (even though I'm not convinced) and Giroud, who's been the target of some seriously undeserved criticism EVER since joining. "He's no RVP". Yeah, we knew that. Not many players are as good as the flying Dutchman. But 11 goals in 32 games in a debut season where he's probably started half of those games is pretty positive. He's also got quite a few assists. I'd also give an ultimatum to Gibbs, Koscielny, Vermaelen and Ramsey: get your act together or you're out. Stop living on potential. Please also make Per Mertseacker your 4th choice centre-back.


As for potential signings, I'd go for Lucas Digne of Lille for left-back, a very exciting prospect with European and U-21 experience for France. Please also make at least a bid for Yohan Cabaye and Michel Vorm/Simon Mignolet (get rid of your current keepers). Give the Ox a long run in the team and sign a centre-back (Hummels?) whilst adding a winger (Griezmann of Sociedad would do). Basically, freshen up the place. DO it quick Arsene.

7- Norwich - Reading. Alex McCarthy has been impressive when called upon this season in goa for Reading. Which other players from this season's relegation candidates and last year's promoted clubs have impressed you?

Chaka Demus: I quite like it when Jason Roberts is on MOTD - shame his prowess on the pitch isn't of quite such a high standard (sorry, KD). Adam Lallana, Jay Rodriguez and warhorse Rickie Lambert from Southampton. QPR - Julio Cesar and just for a laugh Clint Hill - unnecessary challenges all over the shop but the man is a warrior. Villa - really only Benteke. It's an obvious one but no-one else stands out.

Jokes.

KD: Alex McCarthy, what a legend! Did you see that performance against Liverpool? Kept out the most prolific Premier League striker, over and over again. I don’t doubt that I’m about to write the same as all the other lads, but my picks from the relegation candidates are: Weimann, Benteke, Julio Cesar, Remy, Le Fondre, James McCarthy, Diame, Jarvis, Lallana, Jay Rodriguez

Bappo: I'm still surprised at Granero's lack of games for QPR. I know this is not answering the question, but he's a very technical player and he used to actually PLAY for Real Madrid goddamn it! Anyway, people who have impressed me are Lallana, McCarthy, Julio Cesar, Loic Remy, Andros Townsend, Benteke, Weimann and Nathan Baker. You know which one is the odd one out.


8- Tottenham - Man City. If Tottenham were to finish 5th, how much of a disappointment would that be? And do you see them ever mounting a title challenge?

Chaka Demus: Given where they were a month or so ago, challenging for 3rd and even 2nd, I think finishing 5th would be a massive disappointment. I thought this year that Spurs might avoid their characteristic end of season slump but with Bale and Lennon out the wheels have really come off.

I think they could mount a title challenge with a little more money and especially a couple of strikers. Their midfield has been outstanding this year. Jermain started well but he has had injury worries and Manu is, as ever, just a bit of a muppet. They need a reliable goal scorer (or two).

KD: I think it may be disappointing for their fans and players, but I don’t think it would necessarily be a disappointment. I think they will struggle to mount a title challenge over the next 2-3 seasons but, given stability and steady improvement of the squad,  can see them challenging in a few seasons time. I just think they are up against teams with a lot of spending power and truly world class players in every position.

Adebayor's default position after earning himself a new contract.

Bappo: I don't think finishing 5th would be such a huge disappointment. Spurs have played well, are on the right path and have a very good young manager in AVB. You heard me, AVB is class. No jokes. People forget Spurs lost Modric in the summer, and any team would suffer from that.

Tottenham are in a real good place and have the potential to push on for a title challenge. They have the ebst goalkeeper in the Prem in Lloris, have a burgeoning centre-back partnership in Vertonghen and Caulker, a great central midfield duo in Dembele and Sandro, and great complementary players who are all approaching their peak. Holtby, Walker and Townsend (when he comes back) are all exciting players in their early 20s. Their only weakness is that they need a dynamic striker. But they'll find that, although I'm slightly worried about their continued pursuit of Leandro Damiao. I think Loic Remy at a bargain price this summer will do nicely, thank you very much. Tottenham have more in them for a title challenge that Arsenal or Liverpool have at the moment. Maybe in 2014, but it'll come if they can hold on to AVB and their young players.


9- Liverpool - Chelsea. The return of Rafa to Liverpool. What do you make of his legacy at the club?

Chaka Demus: He will ever be known as the manager that won Liverpool the Champion's League in 2005 but I was sceptical at the time as to whether that was really his team. Maybe that is a little harsh. Perhaps he just built on the very solid groundwork that Houllier had laid.

In any case, he made Fernando Torres the player he used to be and developed Stevie G into one of the finest midfielders in the world.

Given the disastrous tenures of Messieurs Hodgson and Dalglish, Rafa's reign is also the last time when Liverpool really enjoyed any kind of success. I think Rodgers will achieve this with the group of players they now have but I imagine Liverpool fans look upon Benitez as the last man to bring them glory. 

Torres: a great example of Benitez's success at Anfield.

KD: What can you say; the guy won the Champions League, of course he’s a legend. McDermott and Coppell are both legends to me and all they did was win us the privilege of playing teams like Liverpool. I think he is rightly thought of fondly by many Liverpool fans and, whilst he may not be the most interesting or enjoyable manager to watch/listen to, I do think he had a good tenure there. In fact, ‘there’ is where it finished for Rafa. His stint at Inter was truly disastrous and he has never really settled anywhere since.

Bappo: A quick disclaimer before I go on. Rafa Benitez is a pompous douche bag. Really unlikeable. Just thought I'd point that out so you can understand that I'll be objective from now on.

Riera and Keane: expensive flops.

In all seriousness, Rafa's time at Liverpool was sort of mixed. He took over a truly awful team after Gerard Houllier had made 'signings' such as Salif Diao, El-Hadji Diouf and Bruno Cheyrou. Liverpool were heading nowhere. And yet he managed to win the Champions League with that rag-tag bunch of hopeless players. I mean, Djimi Traore played in the Champions League final! Goodness me.

Rafa also brought in great players. Xabi Alonso and Torres being the obvious ones, but players like Mascherano, Luis Garcia, Dirk Kuyt (don't laugh), Agger, Johnson and Reina all came to Liverpool. They also finally challenged for a title, and made it to another Champions League final. Not too shabby. Pretty positive indeed.

Now for the part which will make you wince. As great as some of his transfers were, Rafa also let Owen go when he was still at his peak, tried to sell Xabi Alonso (he eventually did) to get Gareth Barry of all people and spent big on players like Riera, Dossena, Morientes and Babel.Let's not talk about the less expensive Josemis, Kromkamps and Pellegrinos of this world. When he finally left, he left the club in a state of collapse, with Liverpool simply riding on the genius of Torres and Gerrard, with no other plan. He never gave Hodgson a chance.


Perhaps more importantly, Benitez wasn't the tactician he claimed to be, and wasn't brave enough. His tactics were simply to get the ball to Gerrard and Torres and be solid at the back, nothing else. But his biggest crime was in not winning that title. When Liverpool finished second, they were clearly the best team in the land, spanking Man Utd 4-1 at Old Trafford in a memorable game which still makes Nemanja Vidic wake up covered in sweat at night. But his conservative approach to games against minor teams, which Liverpool ended up drawing too many times, was his downfall. Overall, a mixed bag really.

10- Man Utd - Aston Villa. Man Utd have the title in hand. In your view, who have been the 3 key players for them this season?

Chaka Demus: RVP, Carrick, Rio.

KD: Absolutely no question: Ferdinand, Carrick, Van Persie. A strong core of consistency. By the way, I didn’t quite know where to add this in, but I just wanted to say: Yaya Toure is just an outrageously good footballer. Thanks

Carrick and Van Persie: artisans of Man Utd's success this season. All the guys at Wally agree.

Bappo:I'd like to use this question to point out that Carrick is finally being recognised. I know people don't like the Busquets type of player in the UK, but that's what Carrick is. Really. Clever defensively (you don't need to slide tackle all the time to be a good defender. Scott Parker, take note), a great user and valuer of the ball and possession, Carrick would be recognised as a great midfielder everywhere else. And his nomination for PFA Players' Player of the Year is no coincidence. The players know his value. It was about time he got recognised. Too long overdue.

As you can guess, he's been a pretty important stabilising part of this Man Utd side. Of course, RVP has been great, and there's not much to add to that really.

As for the third key player, I know people love Rio, but I'll disagree. He was meant to be marshalling the side in Vidic's absence, and he didn't really do a great job. In my book, if you nominate Rio, then you have to nominate Jonny Evans. And nobody wants that.

So I'll go for David Da Hair as my third choice. He's been class, and he's only 22. The criticism aimed at him has been despicable, especially considering he's been the Prem's second best keeper after Lloris this season. That's right, he's been much better than Joe Hart. Wake up, people: De Gea is slowly taking the right steps towards greatness.

We continue our series on the best and worst pundits in the business. Of course, it's quite obvious that this list is undoubtedly complied through hugely personal bias. Except sometimes, where we're all in agreement. An obvious case is the case of Monsieur Cocky, also known as Garth Crooks.

Smugness personified.

The world of punditry is filled with ex-players. After all, the argument goes that you can only truly understand the game if you've been involved in it. Football is a game of emotions, and it's true that people who have been through it might be able to relay in a more effective manner what goes on through a player's head. For example, it would be interesting to hear Zidane's take on any head butt happening in the world of football. He's been there, he's seen the red mist (more than once). Perhaps he'd be great at explaining in detail what a player thinks about in a moment like that. Of course, I'm pretty sure that there's no semblance of intelligence going down when players go berserk. You just lose it. But it'd still be interesting to hear it from an ex player. This does not, however, explain or justify our continued exposure to the football cancer that is Roy Keane. Absolutely not. More on him later.

"So Zinedine, what were you thinking at this exact moment?"

As we all relate to football on an emotional level, players do as well, certainly more than we think (especially when 'loyalty' is questioned). So a translation of emotional events on the football pitch by old pros is of course welcome.

But this has generated another myth, which is absolutely prevalent in the world of punditry: the tactical knowledge.

For anyone can understand football on a tactical level. Football can be like chess, and the best managers in the business react or pre-emptively act to ensure their teams have the upper hand. However, in order to understand the tactical matters and evolutions in a game, there is absolutely no need to have been an old pro. A thorough understanding of strategy and football will do. Despite what I often say about them, there are scores of journalists (writing for proper papers) who understand perfectly the shifts in momentum in a game and offer insightful tactical analysis. Some old players do not. Need I direct you to the list of the 10 worst managers I did a while back? I remember people like Alan Shearer, Tony Adams and Paul Ince making their way onto the list. Great players they were. Tactical geniuses they definitely aren't.

This point of view is what led me to consider Garth Crooks.

Garth, you see, was actually a very good pro. He was a good goalscorer for Spurs in the 80s, and faced the horrendous racist abuse from the terraces with dignity and a certain level of cockiness. He was also a great defender of footballers' rights, becoming the first black chairman of the PFA. You can't underestimate that really. For his efforts in fighting racism and services to football, Garth was awarded an OBE in 1999. Apparently (thank you Wikipedia) this was handed to him not only for services to football, but more precisely for punditry.

Garth back in his prime. When he let his football do the talking. Good times.

Now it wouldn't be the first time, and it certainly won't be the last, that the Queen gets it wrong in handing out knighthoods (he's not there yet) and awards. I mean, Jamie Oliver is an MBE. So give me a break. But the fact it was received in part for his performance as a pundit defies belief.

For Garth is an insufferable pundit. Whilst all commentators possess superbly high levels of high-confidence (when will we get an uncertain pundit? Now that would be fun) - just ask Andy Gray - Garth obviously believes in the idea that he knows best due to his past as a pro footballer. With an inimitable 'style' of shouting down everyone in his path and puffing his chest like a Mark Wahlberg-mentioned peacock, Garth does his best to intimidate his colleagues and any person present more knowledgeable than him. I'm not saying Garth is bad guy (he obviously isn't) but his smugness and his inability to listen clearly alienates anyone who watches 'Final Score'. It obviously doesn't help that Garth has to do with dour Steve Claridge as his pal on the horribly boring panel.



It has become unfortunately common to see Garth explain an undoubtedly dodgy 'opinion' and backing it up with pure arrogance. Not only has Garth's analysis been characterised with smugness, but it is also an archetype of lazy punditry. Something which will always stick with me is his statement that Roy Hodgson 'should have a look at James Morrison of West Brom.' No Garth, he shouldn't: James is a full Scottish international with over 20 caps. Seriously pal, do your homework!

It is sad that Crooks is a case in point of the arrogant pundit. But his smugness and laziness undoubtedly make him one of the worst pundits on telly. It unfortunately overshadows his quite considerable past achievements. Perversely, this is probably what frustrates me the most. From all-around good guy and groundbreaker to a joke; it is a sad path Garth Crooks has tread.

1 - Reading - Liverpool. Liverpool have had a reasonably good second half to the season. Where do you see them finishing next year?

Westy: I can actually see them getting 5th next season and ousting Arsenal, who just seem to be getting worse. Like him or not, Liverpool's answer to David Brent seems to know what he's after in terms of overall strategy and personnel. The best thing Liverpool's owners and board can do is place their trust in Rodgers and actually recognise that he knows what playing staff he needs. For my money, they need to get a decent centre back (if not two!) this summer, whilst bringing in another centre mid to ease the load on Lucas, who is often most noticed when he isn't playing.

Chaka Demus: I think top 5 certainly. However, they absolutely have to strengthen this summer. They have had a very solid second half to the season but without Stevie G and Suarez they go to pieces.

Coutinho and Lucas: important pieces to the Liverpool puzzle. Better than Carroll and co anyway.

KD: I like Brendan Rodgers and I think with a couple of cheeky squad additions in the same vain as Sturridge and Coutinho (and not Downing, Henderson and Carroll), they will be finishing in the top 6. The bigger question is ‘who will be displaced?’ – I have a feeling Moyes’ time at Everton is approaching an end and see them struggling to maintain their form of recent campaigns without him.

Football Tom: Liverpool have indeed been pretty impressive over the second half of the season. Their passing philosophy is starting to bear fruit, Lucas has returned (a personal favourite of man - fab player and infinitely superior to Joe Allen) and their transfer dealings over January have brought extra offensive threat. Coutinho in particular looks an excellent signing full of flair, purposeful running and intricate combination play. His understanding with Suarez bodes well for the future.

Rodgers has had his detractors: his business management speak is undoubtedly irritating and and the facts remain that this season has brought little tangible rewards but I do feel they've made good, if not great, progress since Dalglish's disappointing stint at the helm. Instilling a new playing philosophy always requires time and the squad he inherited hardly suited possession play: passing it out from the back with Skrtel and Carragher is bound to be difficult.

Realistically, I think Liverpool will be challenging for a Champions League place next year. This depends on two factors. The first is keeping Suarez, the only Liverpool player who can claim to be amongst the top 10 worldwide. The second is signing a top class centre half to partner Danny Agger: Carragher is too old and Skrtel isn't good enough for a side with Champions League aspirations. Otherwise I think the rest of the side is strong. Reina hasn't had the best of seasons but is a proven goalkeeper, Enrique and Johnson are underrated full backs that provide threat from the flanks, a central midfield pairing of Lucas and Gerrard is impressive, and Suarez is probably the best striker in the League. Challenging for the title will definitely be beyond the Reds, but fans, manager and board should be disappointed if they don't seriously challenge for a top 4 berth in 2013-2014.

Liverpool have to hang on to the gun-toting Suarez. "The best striker in the League", according to Football Tom. Hard to debate that.

2- Southampton - West Ham. Mauricio Pochettino has quietly turned things around and helped Southampton be close to safety. What do you think of his style of management? With hindsight, a shrewd appointment?
 
Westy: From the very first game he took charge in, it was interesting to see how much more threatening Southampton looked. They've gone for the continental approach of pressing very high up the pitch and it seems to be working, with some excellent results - particularly over the top sides. Time will tell whether he's a good long-term appointment, and it is still very harsh on Adkins, but it's worked for their board so far.

Chaka Demus: With hindsight, yes, I think it was a shrewd appointment. A relative unknown. Young manager. If he had failed, it wouldn't have created as much of an uproar as if a 'big name' had come in. He seems to have weathered the storm after the initial mutiny of the players after Adkins' departure and has them playing very attractive football. Fair play amigo!

KD: Clearly, it is difficult to criticise Pochettino’s appointment on pure footballing grounds as Southampton now seem to be appear to be playing very dynamic, structured football with one hell of a goal threat. Having said that, Adkins didn’t do a bad job and I feel Pochettino has only built on the fantastic foundations laid by Big Nige’ and his team. I am still not fully sold on Pochettino though; he has a translator for every interview. Can a manager truly get all his ideas across effectively if he cannot speak the language fluently? I suppose the answer in this case so far is ‘yes’; after all, everybody can speak the language of football *cringe*

Pochettino's translator: the Premier League's new star. Pochettino: Who cares?

Football Tom: A shrewd appointment? Absolutely. A couple of weeks ago, when discussing relegation candidates, I mentioned how Southampton's new high tempo, high energy football (especially their defensive pressing) would get them out of trouble. It's done more than that. The Saints have been impressive in the majority of games under Pochettino, and haven't always got the results their performances deserved. In the past couple of weeks, they've combined performances and points in impressive fashion. Even more than his style of play, the feature that has most impressed me about Saints' new manager is the manner in which he has united his players despite his complete lack of English language skills (his Spanish translator is getting loads of face time on MOTD). Not to say that the squad lacked harmony under Adkins, but they somehow seem more determined, more assertive since the Argentine's arrival. It helps that he is managing a young side without big egos that have really embraced his philosophy. Southampton are one of my favourite sides to watch in the Premier League: Pochettino, but also Adkins, both deserve credit for their successful first season in the BPL.

3- Everton - QPR. They are probably down, but what what have you made of Harry's tenure and signings at QPR? Would he have kept them up straight from the start?
 
 Westy: Much as I dislike him, I think he would have kept them up. His major signings in Samba and Rémy have made a huge difference (then again, for an outlay of £18m and £180,000 per week, you would hope so!) and he just gets players fired up. QPR were very lucky last season, and Hughes remains an unproven manager in my eyes. Sure, he did okay with City, but it's hardly the toughest task in football. I wonder how many days into June before Harry/Samba/Rémy say they're off though...

Chaka Demus: If Redknapp had been in charge from the start of the season, I don't think they would be in the position they are now. I think a number of those primadonnas who thought themselves a bit good under Hughes will have had a good b*llocking and been taking down a peg or 5 by the 'Atchet. He has made some good signings but the Samba one still just baffles me... Am I alone in this?

KD: Without doubt QPR would not be in their current predicament if Harry had been there from the start. I know Bappo isn’t Redknapp’s biggest fan but, for me, he is one of the best man managers in the Premier League (even if he is a bit unsteady tactically). As for his signings, Loic Remy is undoubtedly talented and could play for most top flight clubs, but it does make me shudder every time Harry asks an owner to get their cheque book out, and each time they willingly and enthusiastically pay monster sums and outrageous wages despite a precarious league position. It happened at Pompey and Fernandes has followed suit at QPR. Dangerous.


 
Football Tom: Wally hasn't always been friendly to old 'Arry but he's certainly done a better job than old Sparky, who's time in charge of QPR was quite frankly a complete disaster. Mohamed Al Fayed, whose club Hughes departed because of "lack of ambition"  must be bathing in Schadenfreude as his Fulham side complete another comfortable season in the Premier League. However, outperforming Hughes, who averaged a quite pathetic 0.35 points per game, isn't exactly a shining achievement.

'Arry's signings have been a mixed bag. Remy has been impressive and scored some wonderful goals. His side footed finish against Wigan was a joy to behold, but it's his fitness rather than his quality that has previously been in doubt during spells at Nice and Marseille. If he can stay injury free he could be a 15 goal a season striker. The loan deal for Townsend can also be considered a success, as the young winger has been bright and inventive, and more importantly seems like he actually cares about helping Rangers avoid relegation (more so than some of QPR's permanent players, which is pretty worrying). However Redknapp's biggest gamble, the high fees and wages paid to bring Samba back to England, hasn't paid off as the Congo international has failed to stabilise the back four.

Remy and Townsend: definite successes proving Redknapp's know-how in the transfer market.

It's difficult to say whether Harry would have kept QPR up had he began the season in charge. For one, his summer signings would have been rather different, and although his coaching and tactical methods are famously 'hands-off', I feel his man management skills would have done enough to keep them up. But that question is slightly beyond the point: Redknapp has built his reputation on picking up teams midway though the season and dramatically improving their fortunes, and claimed he would reproduce his magic touch with the Hoops. This hasn't happened : QPR are still 7 points away from safety, one more than they were when Hughes departed. To me, the most disappointing -if not entirely unpredictable - feature of his spell in charge are his attempts to distance himself from any potential failure come the end of the season. This was done in discrete and subtle ways: referring to QPR as 'they' rather than 'we' or deliberately telling the press how overpaid his players were. This has become a bit of a trend with Redknapp: any success is thanks to the magic touch of Harry Houdini; any failure is due to external circumstances completely beyond his control.

The greatest managers of modern times (Ferguson, Mourinho, Guardiola, Klopp) shift blame, criticism and media attention away from their players and onto themselves. Throughout his time at Loftus Road, Redknapp has been intent on doing the exact opposite to preserve his reputation. This, more than their inevitable relegation, has been the most disappointing aspect of QPR's campaign.

4- Aston Villa - Fulham. Fulham are the epitome of an underrated team despite impressive achievements with their low budget. What have you made of Martin Jol?
 
Westy: He's been quietly effective, much as he was at Spurs. Jol tends to buy and develop players very well and generally makes Fulham pretty tricky to beat. The struggle will be to keep this up, as there's only so many times you can sell players of Dembelé's calibre and hope to improve. Here's hoping that Fayed gives him the opportunity to make his own 'Steve Marlet' transfer, just hopefully with better success...

Chaka Demus: Firstly, I would like to say that Martin Jol terrifies me. How is his voice so low?! Does he live in a cave in Mordor?! Questions that need answers. I like the fact that he keeps himself to himself and just gets on with things. Simple but effective football. Also, anyone that plays Philippe Senderos as a starting centre back must have nuts the size of a pumpkin

One ring to rule them. And in the darkness, bind them.

KD: Martin Jol is one of the most dour managers to have graced the Premier League (emphatically out-done by Avram Grant, though, may I add). I can only imagine his personality and management style is one of level-headedness and calm. Perhaps this inspires the players to try to play football without the fear of criticism from the manager. I don’t know, but it seems to work. Indeed Bappo, you are right, Fulham are under-rated. As are, in my opinion, Wigan. I really like the support and adoration Dave Whelan has for Roberto Martinez and hasn’t joined the manager-merry-go-round culture. I feel Wigan are batting well above their weight at the moment and probably belong somewhere near midtable Championship. Keep it up Robby and DW
 
Football Tom: As a Fulham fan, I feel positively about Martin Jol's time at the club and optimistic about the future. He was the best man for the job when appointed two years ago and is still the best man to take the club forward for the foreseeable future. I am particularly impressed by the way he is overseeing three key challenges facing the Whites:  the first, a change of playing style to a more continental and attacking system, the second, the loss of several key players from the Hughes/Hodgson era and the third, an ageing squad in need of rejuvenation.

Since replacing Hughes, Jol has slowly moved away from the rigid 4-4-2, which brought the Whites European success under Hodgson, to a more continental and flexible 4-2-3-1. The focus has slowly shifted away from soaking up pressure to trying to dictate matches. I certainly feel Fulham are now more dangerous and likely to pick up away wins than they have been in the past. Attempting to alter a club's playing style can be famously difficult, even for distinguished managers - just ask AVB about his high line at Chelsea, or Tony Pulis about his failed attempts to inject Stoke with a semblance of technique- but the transition at Fulham has been fairly seamless.

Jol has also dealt well with the loss of several key players from the Hodgson/Hughes era. Murphy, Zamora, Dempsey and most disappointingly Dembele (a wonderful, wonderful player) have all recently left the Cottage for higher salaries (Zamora), longer contracts (Murphy) and the chance of Champions League football (Dembele and Dempsey) . Lesser managers might have bulked and sulked at the departure of their most dangerous players but Jol reacted well, filling these gaps with short term signings and  a less direct, more intricate style of play.

Finally, Jol has also made the biggest effort of recent years to inject Fulham's ageing squad with youthful players fresh from the club's ever-improving academy. Kerim Frei had a breakthrough season last year, and Kacaliniclic started this season on fire. They are both bright prospects for the future and if Fulham can unearth some additional gems to complement their ageing stars then the future looks bright.

Senderos demonstrates his tackling 'expertise'. Why Martin? Why?

Martin Jol's time at Fulham hasn't been completely faultless. His insistence on playing Senderos rather than the criminally underrated Hughes baffled many Fulham fans, and there's no doubt that the change in system has made the teams less defensively sound than in previous years. But overall he's proved to be yet another astute appointment by Chairman Mo (lets just forget the Sanchez debacle -most of his choices have been spot on). Besides, if it wasn't for Jol, Dimitar Berbatov's delicate, artistic touches would be gracing Florence or Turin rather than the Premier League. For that alone, the bearish Dutchman deserves a round of applause.

5- Arsenal - Norwich. Even if Arsenal finish in the top 4, would you keep Arsene at the club?
 
Westy: I think you have to trust in him, but he needs to hear a few home truths, namely:
1) Buy some players who are proven. Signing two Gervinhos rather than 1 Cazorla just doesn't cut it...
2) Be harsher on your team and admit when you got it wrong - it's hard to respect a manager who doesn't blame anyone for anything.
3) GET A DECENT CENTRE BACK!

Chaka Demus: I think it is time for a change for Arsenal. Martin O'Neill recently went from being 'In a relationship' to 'Single' on Facebook - worth a poke? I think so.

KD: I have been harshly critical of Arsene Wenger at the moment and, recently, I have had a slight change of heart. I think if he can pick up a couple of players in the summer, they could be a relatively strong force next year. Having said that, I don’t see them challenging for the title because they are up against some absolute behemoths of owners who are willing to splash hundreds of millions of pounds (which doesn’t even make a dent, by the way) each window. I say, keep Wenger; after all, he is a legend, and one of my favourite Frenchmen (you know who tops this list)

Football Tom: Big question, and one that's been weighing on Arsenal fans' minds for a while now. First of all, despite talk in the media and elsewhere, I think Arsene will still be at the club next season. He has a good relationship with his board, and I'd personally like to see him leave with a trophy and a final hurrah. Arsenal would be nowhere without him, and one shouldn't underestimate how much he has brought to the club and the Premier League.

Good managerial succession at a football club is based on coherence and a long term strategy (take note Chelsea....). In recent years, Swansea have proved adept at making changes to suit the club's philosophy, and have made progress with every new manager. Martinez established them as a ball playing side, Rodgers took them up to the Prem and Laudrup won them their first trophy, all following the 'Barca-lite' mould. Similarly, Arsenal's new coaching must fit the club's passing philosophy and emphasis on player development.

One name immediately springs to mind. Juergen Klopp has taken Dortmund from sleeping giant to one of the most exciting young sides in the world, with a real shot at champions league glory. His leadership qualities, the quality of his football, and the faith he places in young, hungry players fits the Arsenal mould. However, one could rightly question why the manager of one of the top 4 sides in Europe would want to join a team that isn't in the top 4 in England.

Remi Garde: remember the name. Wenger's successor?

There are other more realistic options available on the continent. Remi Garde has done excellent work with a depleted Lyon squad, and is still challenging moneybags PSG for the Ligue 1 title. He also knows the north London club inside out having been there both as player and as coach. There will be shouts of 'who?', but Arsenal could do a lot worse. Another name touted by the media is David Moyles. I m not so sure he would work: the core of his teams has always been British, and I think he'd struggle to fit in with the culture at Arsenal. Manuel Pellegrini has also done fantastic work at Malaga and rebuilt his reputation after the Real Madrid years. His thinking man's approach (Pelligrini has an engineering degree) matches le Prof's (Wenger has an Economics degree) and would fit in nicely at the Emirates. Finally, my personal 'choix du coeur' would be all round nut case Manuel Bielsa. You might remember the Chilean's young Bilbao side ripping United to shreds last year in a breathless display of high intensity, fearless offensive football. This year hasn't t gone so well for the crazy Chilean, who is renown for bust ups with his top players, but the bemused faces of Gervinho, Theo et al as they receive a bollocking in highly accented Spanglish would be a joy to behold. Sign him up Uzmanov!

6- Newcastle - Sunderland. What have you made of the O'Neill sacking and Di Canio appointment? And do you think the crazy Italian will succeed?
 
Westy: Sunderland have hit rock-bottom and as much as I think you need to trust the manager, with the new TV deal coming in next year, you can't really blame the chairman for pulling the plug. He's given Martin a lot of money: Graham, Fletcher, Johnson etc. and thinking back over the season, I'm actually surprised that they aren't deeper in trouble. As for Di Canio, he should certainly bring the 'honeymoon effect' in that he'll spark an immediate reaction from the players. It's a big leap though from Swindon to Sunderland, and it'll be interesting to see how tactically astute he really is.

Chaka Demus: Hilarious! What a character. Much like the sacking of McDermott and hiring of Adkins, I just don't understand why this has happened with so few games left. Other than spreading Mussolini-esque propaganda what is he going to be able to do with that group of players?! Needless to say I am looking forward to his post-match interviews.

Watch what you do with that right arm Paolo!

KD: Forget crazy Italian, the sacking of O’Neill was crazy and embarrassing. I don’t know quite how much I should write here for fear of becoming too outraged and vocal (I don’t want any complaints against the Brolly!). I do think Di Canio will do better than the likes of Ince at Blackburn and I’m sure they will probably stay up this year, but I can see Newcastle outperforming them next season, which I wouldn’t have said if Martin O’Neill was still in his post (p.s. I also love Yohan Cabaye – but he is still isn’t top of the list)
 
Football Tom: More so than the sacking, I was taken aback by how difficult O'Neill found his spell in charge of Sunderland. MON was once the next England/United manager, destined for great things, but his enthusiasm seems to have deserted him at Sunderland. I still rate him highly as a manager though and hope to see him back in the Prem shortly. The Di Canio scandal has been huge, with coverage spanning both front pages and back pages of the national press. Many of us football folk were aware of Di Canio's controversial political views, but few of us would have predicted this. After all, he's been playing in England for ages: did people not care about his political views when he was a player?

The whole controversy began when Milliband resigned as Sunderland's exec chairman. Whilst I do not doubt that Labour's ex-next leader was deeply offended by Di Canio's stated views, I also feel this was an opportune moment for him to cut all ties with the UK - he had only a week previously declared that he was leaving the UK to take up a position in New York. Had Milliband not resigned, I doubt the furore surrounding the Italian's appointment would have reached current heights.

7- Stoke - Man Utd. Stoke are on a downwards spiral at the moment. Has Tony Pulis taken them as far as he can?
 
Westy: Yes. Teams in the Premiership have sussed Stoke out at the moment and the Britannia has lost that fear factor that used to result in Arsenal practically giving them 3 points before kickoff. You have to say that the major disappointment has been their midfielders, as you would expect more from Adam and Nzonzi than they have given. Equally, their wingers, a source of so much creativity in Pulis' rigid system, have been poor, with Kightly providing nowhere near the number of assists that Pennant used to. I think they'll stay lower midtable (12th-14th) for the next season or so, but could struggle after that.

Pennant: Stoke's Superman, and strangely missed. Never thought I'd type that!

Chaka Demus: With the style of football they play and with the players they have, I don't think there is any more to be done. And let's face it; their best player is about to hang up his boots. They need more money - maybe they can increase their production of pottery.

KD: In short, yes. They have been found out – it’s about bloody time by the way – and I feel they need a fresh approach and, therefore, a new man. Martin O’Neill for Stoke? I would. Having said that, this would mean I am condoning another management change. I suppose, at the end of the day, ad football fans we always feel we know what’s best and we always want a bit of controversy. It’s in our blood.
 
Football Tom: Stoke are an interesting case study: Pulis' incredibly direct style of play has brought them success, but has also left them trapped . Any attempts to inject technique into the team have failed miserably - Tuncay or Owen are good cases in point - and means that the Welshman just sticks to his template: 'forceful' defenders, scrappy midfielders, wingers who hug the touchline, and physical centre forwards. This model has worked well for them, but I do believe there is a limit to what it can achieve. It's a system that can gain promotion from the Championship and keep you up, but it won't win you trophies. Valencia's comfortable dismissal of them in the Europa League last year silenced claims that Barcelona would struggle on a rainy night at the Britannia (seriously, who first mooted that ridiculous argument?)
To a certain extent, Stoke and Pulis are victims of their own success. Having taken direct football as far as it cash go, they are now struggling to push on to the next level. Problematically, this physical approach is so imbedded into the club that it's hard to see any manager coming in and changing the culture. Stoke will live or die the Pulis way.

8- Arsenal - Everton. Nikica Jelavic has struggled this year after being on fire last season. Which version of Jelavic is a fluke, and which one is the real one?
 
Westy: Somewhere in the middle. You'd rather do it that way round though, unlike poor Diego Forlan who was sold just as he started to play well for Man Utd! Strikers need confidence though and it can be tricky when things aren't falling for you, but hopefully he'll get back to his best. He has a number of very good players around him and if Moyes can get him firing then they should easily secure a European place for next season. Deservedly so too.

Chaka Demus: Hard to say really. He really was outstanding last year and his significant drought this year has only been covered up by the fact that his team mates have all raised their game. I would like to say that last year was his true self and he is just having a bit of a Fernando this season. Let's hope things pick up for him as he is a very supportive team player.

Jelavic: "having a Fernando". Don't know who that insults the most.

 
KD: The fluke is the bad one!!! What’s happened Nikica?! I still feel he has enough to succeed at Everton and in the Prem. As for Kevin Mirallas, he got absolutely rinsed by Moyes in the press did he not? That was enough to destroy the confidence of any player, let alone a European ;-) I hope Big Kev takes it the right way, but I can see him being the new Van Der Meyde if not!
 
Football Tom: The curse of the Everton forward strikes again. For as long as I can remember, the Toffees have been waiting for a 20 goal a season striker, the final missing part of the puzzle that would nudge them into the top 4. The Chosen one. The Messiah.

Many strikers have tried to fill this void, many have failed (Beattie…), but it seemed like Moyes had finally, finally found his special one. Jelavic was on absolute fire last season scoring 11 goals in 16 games, and seemed well placed to become the first Everton player to score over 20 league goals in a season since Gary Lineker in 1986 (I told you they've been waiting forever). But alas it wasn't to be. The croatian has been out of sorts this season, eclipsed by prolific 'goal machine' Anichebe (joke - Victor averages a goal every seven games).

Jelavic is your archetypal poacher: getting on the end of things, bundling in the rebound, scoring off his arse etc.. The problem with these right place - right time strikers is that once they stop being in the right place at the right time, they become rather useless. See Owen at Stoke, Bent at Villa, or Van Nistelrooy at Malaga for further examples . And so it has been for Jelavic: he has less goals this year than the much maligned Torres and I'm afraid that his time in the sun has ran out.

And so Moyes' quest for the mythical goalscorer goes on, and like a mad, Scottish Miss Havisham, he is destined to wait forever until his face is wrinkled with age and he becomes bitter and twisted and looks to destroy the dreams of young aspiring centre forwards throughout the land. One day your prince will come David, one day…

A very elegantly dressed David Moyes.

9- West Ham - Man Utd. West Ham have quietly managed to stay up without sweating. Which players would you take from that team? And what do you make of their proposed move to the Olympic Stadium?
 
 Westy: The biggest coup West Ham pulled off was attracting Big Sam to the Championship. Not so much for getting out of that division, but for keeping them in the Premiership when they got there. What he has done should be admired in that he started building a squad for the Premiership last season so that they didn't require too many new personnel to survive (take note QPR). As for players, I've been impressed by Nolan and Diamé out of their current crop whilst Collins has also been very good at centre back. They just need a bit of flair now to improve further.

Chaka Demus: Players that I would take: Juicy in goal - terrific all rounder. Winston Reid - really has impressed me this year. James Collins - just because he is a monster and doesn't mess around. Diame, Taylor and Jarvis from midfield. The forwards are another matter - Andy Carroll on a good day and Carlton Cole on a very good day. I think it's great the Olympic Stadium will be put to good use. Football is the only sport that will fill it week by week.

Diame: bringing all the Wally pundits together.

KD: Who would I take? Good question. Obviously, if Andy Carroll was a Hammers player he’d be my first pick but Liverpool are the fortunate owners of this talisman’s contract! Otherwise I read the other day that Matt Jarvis had the best completed crosses ratio in the league and Diame isn’t a bad player. I think the move to the stadium can only be good for the club, especially as they aren’t footing the bill. Lucky buggers!
 
Football Tom: - Winston Reid: great name, and an impressive first season in the Premier League. The New Zealand international is a imposing physical presence and a threat from set pieces. An underrated centre half with a bright future ahead.
- Momo Diame: he hasn't been the same since his return from injury, but when the Senegal international is on form, he's an absolute ram in the middle of the bark, both offensively and defensively. If rumours of a cheap buy out clause are true, then top 6 clubs could be sniffing around in the summer
- Mark Noble: an established premier league midfielder who is loved by his Hammers fans for his combative nature. He can also play a bit, and is an Englishman who an actually take penalties, heaven forbid!

With regards to the move to the Olympic stadium, this was a no brainer for West Ham. I can't help feel they've got a real bargain there, with the vast majority of funding picked up by the government. A rational business decision, but one that will impact negatively on the atmosphere of West Ham's home fixtures.

10- Man City - Wigan. Roberto Mancini: should he stay or should he go?

 Westy: Monday's victory over Man Utd showed that he can get it right on a match-by-match basis, but this season has proved that he can't come close to Ferguson from a man-management point of view. Their performance in Europe was pitiful, and the excuses that have followed even more so. Worst was Mancini's comment that City haven't won the title because their ideal signings turned them down. Honestly, it's like Chris Hughton deciding to bemoan the fact that Norwich are struggling to avoid relegation because they couldn't sign Messi, Robben and Cavani. It's not like Roberto hasn't spent money this summer - and look how wisely he used that. Rodwell, Garcia and Sinclair have hardly proved inspired signings for the £50m outlay (double what United spent on Van Persie)...

Rant over.

Chaka Demus: I think he'll stay. In fact I think it's ridiculous people are calling for his head. His club will finish second in one of the best league's in the world and is with a very good shout of winning the FA Cup. Most clubs, and managers for that matter, would call that a very good season.

Bobby Mancini: can we at least agree he's got glorious hair?

  
KD: Mancini should stay, without doubt. I cant even believe his future is being questioned and it is very depressing that his position is in doubt. I am certain they will be challenging extremely competitively on all fronts next season and Mancini’s job so far has, in my opinion, been nothing short of impressive. I hope he stays, I also like him as a character. Falcao for City!


Football Tom: After the breathtaking finish to last year's title race, this season has undoubtedly proved disappointing for City fans, who would have expected a more robust defence of their title and especially a less dismal showing in the Champions League. It's now been two successive years in which City have been abjectly eliminated at the group stages, and for a chairman with aspirations of European glory, it might be this, rather than their domestic performance, which constitutes the final straw.

Mancini's dealings in the transfer market were ill advised and he started the season with a weaker squad than he finished with last year. The 3-5-2 experiment has also failed and the Italian has seemed jaded and increasingly irritated in press conferences. City's Emirati owners have been patient and supportive with their Italian manager, but I can't help feel his position is more precarious than Wenger's, discussed in one of the questions above. I can't see Mancini staying if he fails to lift the FA cup in May.

11- Fulham - Chelsea. How damaged do you think Rafa Benitez's reputation has been? And how highly do you rate him?
 
 Westy: I actually think he's coming out of this Chelsea debacle rather well. Think back to when he was appointed and the outrage that ensued. He's done extremely well to keep his head and turn Chelsea around since then. They have a decent chance of winning the FA Cup if they can get past Man City and he's kept them in Europe whilst pushing them into a solid 3rd place. His signing of Demba Ba has looked more and more like an excellent piece of business, and Torres is slowly getting there. I think my feelings on Rafa are quite easily summed up by this one contradictory statement: He's a good manager, but I wouldn't want him anywhere near my club. Figure that one out!

Chaka Demus: If anything, I think his reputation has improved. That's my opinion anyway. To have put up with as much sh*t as he has and just shrugged it off is highly commendable. I don't know what will happen at the end of this year or where he will go next but few managers have thick enough skin to be able to handle what he has over the past few months.

Mr Potato Head: might be a douche bag, but he's displayed great resilience.

KD: Rafa Benitez’s reputation in my eyes has actually improved since he joined Chelsea. I had previously thought he was a major douche bag – mainly due to his Fergie rant and over-criticism of other clubs during his Liverpool spell (hence the Chelsea fan hatred!) I think he has handled himself admirably in the face of severe criticism and, whislt Chelsea’s season hasn’t been a major success, I do not feel that is Rafa’s fault as any club will struggle with constant change (unless that club is managed by Jose Mourinho – what a man).

Football Tom: His passage at Inter was a massive flop, and it's been about 4 years since he's had a decent season, but he undoubtedly has know-how when it comes to cup competitions. It would be pretty hilarious to see him pick up the only two trophies that were realistically available to him when he joined Chelsea, if only to see the conflicted reaction of confused Chelsea fans.