Wally with a Brolly

1- QPR - Stoke. Loic Remy and Andros Townsend have been very impressive since their arrival at QPR. But with the club likely to go down, where do you they will and should end up?

Chaka Demus: Loic Remy and Andros Townsend have been very impressive since their arrival at QPR. But with the club likely to go down, where do you they will and should end up?
I don't know that Loic Remy will stay in England to be honest. Could see him making a move back to La France. Andros Townsend - maybe Saints? I could see him working well with Pocheititttitinno.

KD: I think Remy deserves a move to an established, solid Premier League side (not Reading then...); I wouldn’t be surprised if he ended up at Spurs next season, and I think that would be a good move for them both. I can see Newcastle being interested but lacking the hard sell. Either way, he definitely won’t be in the Championship! As for Andros Townsend, I wonder whether Paolo would be keen to inject some creativity to his wide berths and perhaps move Adam Johnson inside (which is where I’m beginning to think he may be more suited). Otherwise, I could also see him interesting the new boys, Cardiff maybe?

Loic is carrying Andros piggy-back all the way to White Hart Lane.

Bappo: Both should go to Tottenham. Remy is exactly the kind of striker Spurs need. Whilst I love the 'Touch-Boom' approach Jermain Defoe has adopted throughout his career, and even though he leads the line well (no need to be a massive donkey to do that in modern football), Jermain has been injured and is on the wrong side of 30. As for Adebayor, he got his big fat contract, so why should he bother? He's an expensive afterthought right now. Remy would be perfect to revitalise the team, and Townsend should be kept as insurance when Bale and/or Lennon traditionally break down. I've got to say I've been really impressed by both. Don't count out Arsenal and/or Newcastle making a bid for Remy. They just love French players.

2- Sunderland - Everton. Paolo Di Canio was particularly active on the touchline on Sunday. Can you think of any other over-emotional managers, past and present?

Chaka Demus: Iain Dowie could be described as overly emotional and exuberant at times. Martin Jol is another - he should really calm down a bit; for his own sake and others'. I miss seeing Mick McCarthy and his horribly broken nose yelling and spitting for the sidelines in the Prem I must admit.

KD: Well, for starters, his run up to the touchline was stolen straight out of the book of the Special One’s special celebrations. Where’s the originality Paolo! Whilst I can’t admit to having kept strong tabs on his career since he left England, Temuri Ketsbaia – current Georgia national coach – was an absolute basket case when he played for Newcastle. Cue Bappo posting a video of touchline board kicking...





Bappo: I always thought Steve McClaren to be an unnecessarily agitated figure on the touchline. Special kudos for his innovative approach in bringing extra gear to the stage (brolly, cuppa). Great improv from a great manager. I've got to say I'm also always delighted by Mancini's antics. He can go from relaxed (great hair) to absolutely berserk. And any man who screams "F**c you" to nobody in particular is a winner in my book. By the way, Paolo is a clown. 74 fist pumps when scoring a second against Newcastle? No wonder people don't take him seriously. Just don't give me some of "I'm not being considered as a serious manager" crap. You act like a clown, feel the consequences.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDJmKytrzIQ

3- Swansea - Southampton. Which is a bigger miracle: Swansea or Southampton staying up? And which team will progress more in the future?

Chaka Demus: This year I will say Saints because they are newly promoted. What Swansea have achieved in a few years is remarkable but I think, given their superior fan base, Saints will/should develop to being the club they once were. They'll obviously need a season or two to stabilise themselves though. The fact that they won promotion consecutively from League One upwards shows what a force they are - and makes Adkins' sacking all the more ridiculous.

KD: Shamelessly deviating off topic immediately, what is interesting is knowing that both Welsh clubs will be in the Premier League next season for the first time! And by the way, Swansea are definitely better than Celtic, and Cardiff are definitely better than Rangers. Back on topic: Southampton is the biggest miracle for me. Swansea have been steadily and consistently improving and have been very intelligent with their managerial choices when forced to freshen things up. Having said that, I suppose the same can now be said for Southampton. I think both will continue to progress under the respective leadership and will both become established top 10 teams (yes, I’m well and truly perched on the fence)

Bappo: The bigger miracle is Swansea staying up. Southampton have always been a big club and have financial muscle behind them. Do you forget they spent £12m on Gaston Ramirez and too much money for Yoshida (any money is too much money)? Jay Rodriguez also cost £7m. By the way, I seriously hope they get know as the Rodriguez-Ramirez Duo. Nothing sounds better than a partnership between two Spanish plaumbers. Swansea, on the other hand, spent peanuts last year, and only spent this year what they gained from the Joe Allen transfer. Add that to the fact they brought in a foreign manager and play a specific expansive style, and Swansea comfortably escaping relegation is a miracle. However, their ceiling is pretty limited, whilst Southampton have a lot going for them. In theory, the Saints should stay in the Prem for a while if they continue like this. I'm more worried for Swansea. The honeymoon will be over at some point.



                                                            3 cheers for Ramirez!

4- West Brom - Newcastle. When Romelo Lukaku returns to Chelsea at the end of the season, where should he stand in the striker hierarchy? And how impressed have you been with him this season?

Chaka Demus: Depends whether Fernando goes or not. Romelo will sadly be 2nd or 3rd behind Ba and Torres. Form and natural talent are less significant than price tag and weekly pay at Chelsea unfortunately.

KD: I have been very impressed. I think he should be considered the second choice. I’m sorry Fernando, it just hasn’t worked out for you. I want to believe that this recent (slight) upturn in form could continue, but I don’t.

Lukaku: hoping to come back to Chelsea to make Victor Moses look like his chubby little brother.

Bappo: Honestly, out of performances, he should come back as 1st or 2nd choice. Even though he's had a great start, I'm not sure Demba Ba is the striker to lead you to Champions' League glory. Lukaku, even though he's just the Belgian version of Andy Carroll at the moment (but already better), has the potential to become a very, very good striker. As for Torres, please get out. You annoy me now.

5- West Ham - Wigan. Arouna Kone, Di Santo or Andy Carroll: who would you take, regardless of the price?

Chaka Demus: I think I will say Kone as he is, in my opinion, the best all-round footballer.

KD: Ok, so after my relentless and merciless sarcasm of Andy Carroll this season, not many may believe me here. But, because my hands are tied by the options, in this case I would have to choose the big bumbling Liverpool legend. I do think Arouna Kone is excellent for Wigan but the truth of the matter is that both Kone and Di Santo are not only average Premier League strikers but, in my opinion, at their peak (Di Santo is young but I do not see him improving massively, personally). I still do feel that, whilst Carroll is generally pretty dire at the moment, there is potential there and, if anything else, he provides a decent foil for other potentially dangerous players.

In all honesty, a pretty good symbol for all three players mentioned in this question.

Bappo: A choice between a striker who's not the best at hitting the door (Kone), one with no striker's instinct (di Santo) and a donkey. I'm going to go for Kone. He's adaptable, runs his socks off, has clever movement, and his inability to take all his chances endears him to me. Di Santo should be playing in the Championship, and about 63% of his goals are deflected goals. He's not strong, not quick and can't shoot. A great striker. As for Carroll, we've been here before, but that man can only play for the Sam Allardyces and Tony Pulis of this world. Put it in the air and he's good. On the floor? He's got a worst touch than a majority of Championship centre-backs. Ian Evatt, take note and further your career by playing up front. You'll play for West Ham in no time.

6- Fulham - Arsenal. Who should Arsene invest in, and who should he get rid of, in order to mount a genuine title challenge next season?

Chaka Demus: Who he should get rid of: Fabianski, Mertesacker, Squillaci, Ramsey, Diaby, Arshavin, Gervinho. I am tempted to also say Giroud and Podolski - neither of whom have done at all well this year.

Who should he bring in? Cesc, Alex Song, RVP and, dare I say it, Samir Nasri, all need to be replaced still.

They really need: A genuine centre back - Chris Samba when he bails from QPR? I would love to see Chiellini in the Prem.

A top-class goalkeeper - Tim Krul, Michel Vorm, Al-Habsi, Mignolet, Begovic - plenty to choose from in the Premier League alone.

A replacement for RVP - a true goal scorer. Tempt Michael Owen out of retirement?! Lewandowski is a more serious option - but would he leave a team as good as Dortmund are now? Thierry Henry? Dennis Bergkamp!? ANYONE?! PLEASE.

KD: I love these questions. Get rid of, Sagna, Santos, Squillaci, Diaby, Park, Denilson, Chamakh, Arshavin, Gervinho, Bendtner.

To replace those? Some of: Ashley Williams, Fellaini, Gundogan, Sahin, Isco, Schurrle, Benteke, Lewandowski.

I enjoyed that.

'Wait. What? You're still at Arsenal?'

Bappo: There's too much to go through. It's pretty obvious who Arsenal should get rid of: Squillaci, Diaby, Santos, Denilson, Chamakh, Gervinho and Bendtner are amongst the top of the list. Personally, I'd also shop Walcott around. If you can get £20m, why not? He's not that great. Give a chance to Podoslki (even though I'm not convinced) and Giroud, who's been the target of some seriously undeserved criticism EVER since joining. "He's no RVP". Yeah, we knew that. Not many players are as good as the flying Dutchman. But 11 goals in 32 games in a debut season where he's probably started half of those games is pretty positive. He's also got quite a few assists. I'd also give an ultimatum to Gibbs, Koscielny, Vermaelen and Ramsey: get your act together or you're out. Stop living on potential. Please also make Per Mertseacker your 4th choice centre-back.


As for potential signings, I'd go for Lucas Digne of Lille for left-back, a very exciting prospect with European and U-21 experience for France. Please also make at least a bid for Yohan Cabaye and Michel Vorm/Simon Mignolet (get rid of your current keepers). Give the Ox a long run in the team and sign a centre-back (Hummels?) whilst adding a winger (Griezmann of Sociedad would do). Basically, freshen up the place. DO it quick Arsene.

7- Norwich - Reading. Alex McCarthy has been impressive when called upon this season in goa for Reading. Which other players from this season's relegation candidates and last year's promoted clubs have impressed you?

Chaka Demus: I quite like it when Jason Roberts is on MOTD - shame his prowess on the pitch isn't of quite such a high standard (sorry, KD). Adam Lallana, Jay Rodriguez and warhorse Rickie Lambert from Southampton. QPR - Julio Cesar and just for a laugh Clint Hill - unnecessary challenges all over the shop but the man is a warrior. Villa - really only Benteke. It's an obvious one but no-one else stands out.

Jokes.

KD: Alex McCarthy, what a legend! Did you see that performance against Liverpool? Kept out the most prolific Premier League striker, over and over again. I don’t doubt that I’m about to write the same as all the other lads, but my picks from the relegation candidates are: Weimann, Benteke, Julio Cesar, Remy, Le Fondre, James McCarthy, Diame, Jarvis, Lallana, Jay Rodriguez

Bappo: I'm still surprised at Granero's lack of games for QPR. I know this is not answering the question, but he's a very technical player and he used to actually PLAY for Real Madrid goddamn it! Anyway, people who have impressed me are Lallana, McCarthy, Julio Cesar, Loic Remy, Andros Townsend, Benteke, Weimann and Nathan Baker. You know which one is the odd one out.


8- Tottenham - Man City. If Tottenham were to finish 5th, how much of a disappointment would that be? And do you see them ever mounting a title challenge?

Chaka Demus: Given where they were a month or so ago, challenging for 3rd and even 2nd, I think finishing 5th would be a massive disappointment. I thought this year that Spurs might avoid their characteristic end of season slump but with Bale and Lennon out the wheels have really come off.

I think they could mount a title challenge with a little more money and especially a couple of strikers. Their midfield has been outstanding this year. Jermain started well but he has had injury worries and Manu is, as ever, just a bit of a muppet. They need a reliable goal scorer (or two).

KD: I think it may be disappointing for their fans and players, but I don’t think it would necessarily be a disappointment. I think they will struggle to mount a title challenge over the next 2-3 seasons but, given stability and steady improvement of the squad,  can see them challenging in a few seasons time. I just think they are up against teams with a lot of spending power and truly world class players in every position.

Adebayor's default position after earning himself a new contract.

Bappo: I don't think finishing 5th would be such a huge disappointment. Spurs have played well, are on the right path and have a very good young manager in AVB. You heard me, AVB is class. No jokes. People forget Spurs lost Modric in the summer, and any team would suffer from that.

Tottenham are in a real good place and have the potential to push on for a title challenge. They have the ebst goalkeeper in the Prem in Lloris, have a burgeoning centre-back partnership in Vertonghen and Caulker, a great central midfield duo in Dembele and Sandro, and great complementary players who are all approaching their peak. Holtby, Walker and Townsend (when he comes back) are all exciting players in their early 20s. Their only weakness is that they need a dynamic striker. But they'll find that, although I'm slightly worried about their continued pursuit of Leandro Damiao. I think Loic Remy at a bargain price this summer will do nicely, thank you very much. Tottenham have more in them for a title challenge that Arsenal or Liverpool have at the moment. Maybe in 2014, but it'll come if they can hold on to AVB and their young players.


9- Liverpool - Chelsea. The return of Rafa to Liverpool. What do you make of his legacy at the club?

Chaka Demus: He will ever be known as the manager that won Liverpool the Champion's League in 2005 but I was sceptical at the time as to whether that was really his team. Maybe that is a little harsh. Perhaps he just built on the very solid groundwork that Houllier had laid.

In any case, he made Fernando Torres the player he used to be and developed Stevie G into one of the finest midfielders in the world.

Given the disastrous tenures of Messieurs Hodgson and Dalglish, Rafa's reign is also the last time when Liverpool really enjoyed any kind of success. I think Rodgers will achieve this with the group of players they now have but I imagine Liverpool fans look upon Benitez as the last man to bring them glory. 

Torres: a great example of Benitez's success at Anfield.

KD: What can you say; the guy won the Champions League, of course he’s a legend. McDermott and Coppell are both legends to me and all they did was win us the privilege of playing teams like Liverpool. I think he is rightly thought of fondly by many Liverpool fans and, whilst he may not be the most interesting or enjoyable manager to watch/listen to, I do think he had a good tenure there. In fact, ‘there’ is where it finished for Rafa. His stint at Inter was truly disastrous and he has never really settled anywhere since.

Bappo: A quick disclaimer before I go on. Rafa Benitez is a pompous douche bag. Really unlikeable. Just thought I'd point that out so you can understand that I'll be objective from now on.

Riera and Keane: expensive flops.

In all seriousness, Rafa's time at Liverpool was sort of mixed. He took over a truly awful team after Gerard Houllier had made 'signings' such as Salif Diao, El-Hadji Diouf and Bruno Cheyrou. Liverpool were heading nowhere. And yet he managed to win the Champions League with that rag-tag bunch of hopeless players. I mean, Djimi Traore played in the Champions League final! Goodness me.

Rafa also brought in great players. Xabi Alonso and Torres being the obvious ones, but players like Mascherano, Luis Garcia, Dirk Kuyt (don't laugh), Agger, Johnson and Reina all came to Liverpool. They also finally challenged for a title, and made it to another Champions League final. Not too shabby. Pretty positive indeed.

Now for the part which will make you wince. As great as some of his transfers were, Rafa also let Owen go when he was still at his peak, tried to sell Xabi Alonso (he eventually did) to get Gareth Barry of all people and spent big on players like Riera, Dossena, Morientes and Babel.Let's not talk about the less expensive Josemis, Kromkamps and Pellegrinos of this world. When he finally left, he left the club in a state of collapse, with Liverpool simply riding on the genius of Torres and Gerrard, with no other plan. He never gave Hodgson a chance.


Perhaps more importantly, Benitez wasn't the tactician he claimed to be, and wasn't brave enough. His tactics were simply to get the ball to Gerrard and Torres and be solid at the back, nothing else. But his biggest crime was in not winning that title. When Liverpool finished second, they were clearly the best team in the land, spanking Man Utd 4-1 at Old Trafford in a memorable game which still makes Nemanja Vidic wake up covered in sweat at night. But his conservative approach to games against minor teams, which Liverpool ended up drawing too many times, was his downfall. Overall, a mixed bag really.

10- Man Utd - Aston Villa. Man Utd have the title in hand. In your view, who have been the 3 key players for them this season?

Chaka Demus: RVP, Carrick, Rio.

KD: Absolutely no question: Ferdinand, Carrick, Van Persie. A strong core of consistency. By the way, I didn’t quite know where to add this in, but I just wanted to say: Yaya Toure is just an outrageously good footballer. Thanks

Carrick and Van Persie: artisans of Man Utd's success this season. All the guys at Wally agree.

Bappo:I'd like to use this question to point out that Carrick is finally being recognised. I know people don't like the Busquets type of player in the UK, but that's what Carrick is. Really. Clever defensively (you don't need to slide tackle all the time to be a good defender. Scott Parker, take note), a great user and valuer of the ball and possession, Carrick would be recognised as a great midfielder everywhere else. And his nomination for PFA Players' Player of the Year is no coincidence. The players know his value. It was about time he got recognised. Too long overdue.

As you can guess, he's been a pretty important stabilising part of this Man Utd side. Of course, RVP has been great, and there's not much to add to that really.

As for the third key player, I know people love Rio, but I'll disagree. He was meant to be marshalling the side in Vidic's absence, and he didn't really do a great job. In my book, if you nominate Rio, then you have to nominate Jonny Evans. And nobody wants that.

So I'll go for David Da Hair as my third choice. He's been class, and he's only 22. The criticism aimed at him has been despicable, especially considering he's been the Prem's second best keeper after Lloris this season. That's right, he's been much better than Joe Hart. Wake up, people: De Gea is slowly taking the right steps towards greatness.