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Wednesday 5 September 2012
The Chris Browns of the Premier League: The Liverpool Preview
15:46 | 
Posted by
Bappo |
I remember a time, during my second year at university, when Chris Brown was on top of the world. No, I'm not talking about the journeyman striker last seen at Doncaster Rovers after memorable stints at Sunderland (9 goals in 66 games), Norwich (18 games/1 goal) and Preston (106 games/18 goals). No, I'm not talking about the modern-day Danny Dichio. I'm of course talking about the 'singer' Chris Brown. Yes, 'singer' because, if you've ever had the displeasure of listening to one of his 'songs' there's enough auto-tune in there to microwave a chicken to death. Too far, and totally irrelevant, and impossible? Probably, but you get my point.
But we're not here to discuss Chris Brown's 'musical' 'merits'. We're here to conlude my analogy.
Anyways, in 2008-2009, Chris Brown was on top of the world. He had released his successful breakthrough album in 2005 and his 2007 album had done really well as well. Not only was he selling out, but the man was going out with the hottest piece of candy on the planet at the time, namely Rihanna.
And then it all came crumbling down. I don't want to assume anything, but I'm guessing mixing drugs, alcohol and a high libido didn't go well for both Rihanna and 'CB', and he ended up punching her. Well, 'punching her' is being kind. The guy completely beat her up.
Of course, being a celebrity, he blatantly got away with it, but his return to the musical scene since then has been greeted with indifference. The guy is a nobody and he's drifted into irrelevance. Let's just hope it happens to Will.i.am next. But I digress.
If you don't see the comparison with Liverpool then I can't honestly believe I have to spell it out for you but here we go.
In 2008-2009 Liverpool should have won the Prem, as simple as that. With a superb spine of Reina, Carragher, Xabi Alonso, Mascherano, Gerrard and Torres, Liverpool were solid, fluid and heading somewhere. They had the ability to attract top players, a manager renowned on the international scene, and regularly performed well in the Champions' League. Liverpool had loads of promise.
And then it all went Pete Tong. We're talking about Potato Head's outrageous ego and power struggles, players and fans giving up on Roy Hodgson too early and the debacle that was Kenny Dalglish. I mean, they didn't kill anyone, but the club's support of one of football's most annoying and despicable characters in a racism row of all things was outrageous. At football level, that's as close as it gets to beating up a hottie.
And where are they now? Drifting into irrelevance, even more than Arsenal. Liverpool simply are not competitive anymore for the time being, whether it be in attracting top players or simply walking all over teams. They're the Chris Brown of the Premier League. They even managed to involve a court case to make the analogy even more appropriate. And, just like Chris Brown, the club still thinks it's entitled to greatness. Delusional to say the least.
So where do they go from here? Well, the only way is up, but it'll take time. Bringing Brendan Rodgers was a good appointment, but only giving him at least two years to learn from his mistakes and purge the team of mistakes from past regimes will ensure Liverpool are heading somewhere. Will he be given the time to do it? I truly hope so because Liverpool used to represent something.
His first steps have been both sensible and confounding. Sensible in the fact he brought Joe Allen and got rid of Andy Carroll. Confounding in the fact that he brought Fabio Borini (still young but overrated) and didn't get the help he deserved in bringing another striker.
More importantly for Rodgers, he will need players on his side. That's partly why Allen and Borini were brought to the club, but he's going to need the elephants to back him up. And those are Gerrard, Carragher (despite crossing the line into retirement in everything but name) and Suarez. These players need to help him and, in Gerrard's case especially, adapt their game.
Gerrard has a big role to play. For years he has delighted us with Hollywood passes, great goals and incredible leadership. Unfortunately, doing the first is detrimental to the new team and he's not capable of the second on a regular basis. This leaves leadership, and this is where Gerrard has to step up again. He gave up too soon and too publicly on Hodgson. He can't afford to do it to Rodgers.
It's going to be a difficult season, especially with players like Henderson still at the club. But if Liverpool do what they used to be renowned for (backing their manager and having an identity) then better times will come sooner rather than later.
THE TRANSFER REVIEW
I know we haven't talked about players who have left their clubs in previous previews, and most notably in Arsenal's (partly due to writing it before RVP left) but I have to say I find Rodgers' purge of Dalglish flops refreshing and justified. It was clear that Bellamy, Kuyt, Maxi and Adam didn't have it in them and weren't top class players. Of course not all of them were Dalglish players, but they still played a big part for Kenny. As for Carroll, the guy is just not good enough with the ball at his feet. Yes, he's young and he's a great header of the ball. But, unless you plan on playing a la West Ham/Bolton/Stoke then his lack of movement, pace, touch and finishing ability will count against you. And he'd be considered crap if he wasn't English. Nothing shocking about letting go an overrated player who can only fit in one system. Oh, and the least said about Spearing and Aquilani the better we breathe.
JOE ALLEN
I for one am a big fan of this signing. If Allen was English he would walk straight into the national side. Yes, that's a bold statement, but little Joe represents everything young English players should aspire to be. OK, I'm maybe getting carried away a bit, but Allen has many Xavi-like attributes. Spotless technique? Check. Tactical awareness? Check. Keeping the team ticking? Check. Keeping the ball (something which even Gerrard is incapable of)? Check. Small in stature? Check. A superb partner for a newly fit Lucas.
Best case scenario: Jon Mjallby without the fat. Or Xabi Alonso without the long range passing.
Worst case scenario: Lucas
FABIO BORINI
So the man scores 9 goals in 24 goals for Roma and he's worth £11m? And that's after being let go by Chelsea's reserves? That's exactly what's wrong with the transfer market. As you can tell, I'm not such a huge fan of this signing. OK, he's been called up to the Italian team, but Pierluigi Casiraghi was a mainstay of late 90s Italy and he was sh**e at Chelsea. It's nothing against Borini who, I hope, will prove me wrong and is still young. But it's puzzling to say the least. And the early signs aren't good. Definitely one for the future, even if he's going to have to play a lot this season.
Best case scenario: a faster Dirk Kuyt with goals
Worst case scenario: a faster Dirk Kuyt without the goals.
NURI SAHIN
Nuri Sahin is a typical case of 'it's hard to refuse [Real?Barca/Man U/Man City/Juve/AC] but I should have]. After dominating the Bundesliga with Borussia Dortmund and playing the Jurgen Klopp way, Sahin was tempted by the bright lights of Real Madrid and playing under Mourinho. What followed was a year of injuries and lack of playing time due to Sami Khedira and Xabi Alonso being mainstays of that team. Nuri even fell behing Granero (now of QPR) and Lassana Diarra (now of Anzhi and dead to me) in the pecking order.
So what does Liverpool get in Sahin? They get a ball playing central midfielder in the Joe Allen mould, capable of creating chances and goals as well as ably protecting the back four. The only problem? He's on an expensive loan with no clause to buy him. So he's basically a one-year rental. He would have been a much better signing if he had joined permanently. He will however help institute the Rodgers way.
Best case scenario: Xabi Alonso
Worst case scenario: a smaller Bruno Cheyrou.
OUSSAMA ASSAIDI
Haa the Eredivisie. You have given us Robben, Kuyt, Kezman, Van Nistelrooy, Ron Vlaar (new favourite here), Afonso Alves. The main thing to learn? There's no middle ground once you pluck someone out from Holland. They're either good to very good or bad to absolutely incredibly awful. Assaidi? Maybe the first middle-gound player from Holland?
Capable of playing on both wings or as a striker, Oussama has had two good seasons for Heerenveen, with 19 goals in 58 games, also known as 1 in 3. Not great but not bad either. At £4.5m he's rather low-risk and he's playing in a position of need. And he's only 24 so not a bad signing from Rodgers. Let's just hope he's more Robben than Afonso Alves (FYI now banging the goals in at...Al-Rayyan. Bless you.)
Best case scenario: a faster, better version of Dirk Kuyt
Worst case scenario: Stewart Downing
SAMED YESIL
I've got nothing against the boy (still 18) but I'm getting tired of signings like Samed Yesil. Sure he's only 18 and he's already played in the Bundesliga (albeit only one game). But Premier League reserves are crammed with players like Yesil, somehow bought based on their potential. And at the detriment of young English players. At best he will 'do a Borini', leave Liverpool and play at a decent level for another club. Rant over. But needless to say, I don't care about this signing. If he was THAT good we would have heard about him by now.
Best case scenario: don't care
Worst case scenario: don't care
WALLY'S ADVICE
Give some players a chance
OK he had a diabolical season. He was so bad I can't even compare him to anyone THAT bad. That's how awful Downing was. But you're telling me he's going to be that bad again this season? Why, instead of talking about him as a left-back, doesn't Rodgers simply aspire to giving him confidence once again. I mean, he was overrated at Villa (just like Ashley Young) but he was still a very good versatile winger. So please give Downing a chance n consecutive games. If it doesn't work out Rodgers will be able to blame it on Dalglish. A win-win situation really, especially in a position where Liverpool lack good players.
Give confidence back to Joe Cole as well. I'm guessing he's refreshed and still has something in the tank.
And please give a chance to Shelvey (convincing against Man City), Kelly, Robinson, Flanagan, Coates and of course Sterling (which he already has). Not so much to Henderson. He is really that crap.
Hold senior players accountable
That means telling Gerrard, Suarez, Reina and Glenn Johnson when they've been crap, which has happened quite a lot over the last 18 months. And no need to talk about Carragher. Good influence in the dressing room, but washed up as a player.
Tell Suarez to shut up and stop acting up
Please do it Brendan. Pretty please?
Keep blaming Kenny, but in a nice way
Because the guy really did untold damage to the club and made your job that much harder.
THE LINE-UP
In our view
Reina
Kelly Skrtel Agger Jose Enrique/Robinson/Johnson
Lucas Allen
Gerrard
Downing Joe Cole/Sterling/Suarez
Suarez/Borini
How they probably will line up
Reina
Johnson Skrtel Agger Jose Enrique
Lucas Allen
Gerrard
Borini Sterling/Downing
Suarez
PREDICTIONS
It is going to be hard season for Liverpool. It's already started badly enough. But, considering how difficult it is to implement a different culture at a club, Liverpool will pick up eventually. This is a rebuilding season. A disappointing yet good 9th considering all the shenanigans.
 |
| No, not that Chris Brown. |
Anyways, in 2008-2009, Chris Brown was on top of the world. He had released his successful breakthrough album in 2005 and his 2007 album had done really well as well. Not only was he selling out, but the man was going out with the hottest piece of candy on the planet at the time, namely Rihanna.
 |
| Unfortunately, that Chris Brown. |
Of course, being a celebrity, he blatantly got away with it, but his return to the musical scene since then has been greeted with indifference. The guy is a nobody and he's drifted into irrelevance. Let's just hope it happens to Will.i.am next. But I digress.
In 2008-2009 Liverpool should have won the Prem, as simple as that. With a superb spine of Reina, Carragher, Xabi Alonso, Mascherano, Gerrard and Torres, Liverpool were solid, fluid and heading somewhere. They had the ability to attract top players, a manager renowned on the international scene, and regularly performed well in the Champions' League. Liverpool had loads of promise.
And then it all went Pete Tong. We're talking about Potato Head's outrageous ego and power struggles, players and fans giving up on Roy Hodgson too early and the debacle that was Kenny Dalglish. I mean, they didn't kill anyone, but the club's support of one of football's most annoying and despicable characters in a racism row of all things was outrageous. At football level, that's as close as it gets to beating up a hottie.
And where are they now? Drifting into irrelevance, even more than Arsenal. Liverpool simply are not competitive anymore for the time being, whether it be in attracting top players or simply walking all over teams. They're the Chris Brown of the Premier League. They even managed to involve a court case to make the analogy even more appropriate. And, just like Chris Brown, the club still thinks it's entitled to greatness. Delusional to say the least.
So where do they go from here? Well, the only way is up, but it'll take time. Bringing Brendan Rodgers was a good appointment, but only giving him at least two years to learn from his mistakes and purge the team of mistakes from past regimes will ensure Liverpool are heading somewhere. Will he be given the time to do it? I truly hope so because Liverpool used to represent something.
His first steps have been both sensible and confounding. Sensible in the fact he brought Joe Allen and got rid of Andy Carroll. Confounding in the fact that he brought Fabio Borini (still young but overrated) and didn't get the help he deserved in bringing another striker.
More importantly for Rodgers, he will need players on his side. That's partly why Allen and Borini were brought to the club, but he's going to need the elephants to back him up. And those are Gerrard, Carragher (despite crossing the line into retirement in everything but name) and Suarez. These players need to help him and, in Gerrard's case especially, adapt their game.
 |
| Stop trying the Hollywood pass Stevie! |
Gerrard has a big role to play. For years he has delighted us with Hollywood passes, great goals and incredible leadership. Unfortunately, doing the first is detrimental to the new team and he's not capable of the second on a regular basis. This leaves leadership, and this is where Gerrard has to step up again. He gave up too soon and too publicly on Hodgson. He can't afford to do it to Rodgers.
It's going to be a difficult season, especially with players like Henderson still at the club. But if Liverpool do what they used to be renowned for (backing their manager and having an identity) then better times will come sooner rather than later.
THE TRANSFER REVIEW
I know we haven't talked about players who have left their clubs in previous previews, and most notably in Arsenal's (partly due to writing it before RVP left) but I have to say I find Rodgers' purge of Dalglish flops refreshing and justified. It was clear that Bellamy, Kuyt, Maxi and Adam didn't have it in them and weren't top class players. Of course not all of them were Dalglish players, but they still played a big part for Kenny. As for Carroll, the guy is just not good enough with the ball at his feet. Yes, he's young and he's a great header of the ball. But, unless you plan on playing a la West Ham/Bolton/Stoke then his lack of movement, pace, touch and finishing ability will count against you. And he'd be considered crap if he wasn't English. Nothing shocking about letting go an overrated player who can only fit in one system. Oh, and the least said about Spearing and Aquilani the better we breathe.
JOE ALLEN
I for one am a big fan of this signing. If Allen was English he would walk straight into the national side. Yes, that's a bold statement, but little Joe represents everything young English players should aspire to be. OK, I'm maybe getting carried away a bit, but Allen has many Xavi-like attributes. Spotless technique? Check. Tactical awareness? Check. Keeping the team ticking? Check. Keeping the ball (something which even Gerrard is incapable of)? Check. Small in stature? Check. A superb partner for a newly fit Lucas.
 |
| Allen to Liverpool: good signing. |
Worst case scenario: Lucas
FABIO BORINI
So the man scores 9 goals in 24 goals for Roma and he's worth £11m? And that's after being let go by Chelsea's reserves? That's exactly what's wrong with the transfer market. As you can tell, I'm not such a huge fan of this signing. OK, he's been called up to the Italian team, but Pierluigi Casiraghi was a mainstay of late 90s Italy and he was sh**e at Chelsea. It's nothing against Borini who, I hope, will prove me wrong and is still young. But it's puzzling to say the least. And the early signs aren't good. Definitely one for the future, even if he's going to have to play a lot this season.
 |
| Fabiuigi Borinaghi |
Worst case scenario: a faster Dirk Kuyt without the goals.
NURI SAHIN
Nuri Sahin is a typical case of 'it's hard to refuse [Real?Barca/Man U/Man City/Juve/AC] but I should have]. After dominating the Bundesliga with Borussia Dortmund and playing the Jurgen Klopp way, Sahin was tempted by the bright lights of Real Madrid and playing under Mourinho. What followed was a year of injuries and lack of playing time due to Sami Khedira and Xabi Alonso being mainstays of that team. Nuri even fell behing Granero (now of QPR) and Lassana Diarra (now of Anzhi and dead to me) in the pecking order.
So what does Liverpool get in Sahin? They get a ball playing central midfielder in the Joe Allen mould, capable of creating chances and goals as well as ably protecting the back four. The only problem? He's on an expensive loan with no clause to buy him. So he's basically a one-year rental. He would have been a much better signing if he had joined permanently. He will however help institute the Rodgers way.
 |
| Sahin: expensive rental. |
Worst case scenario: a smaller Bruno Cheyrou.
OUSSAMA ASSAIDI
Haa the Eredivisie. You have given us Robben, Kuyt, Kezman, Van Nistelrooy, Ron Vlaar (new favourite here), Afonso Alves. The main thing to learn? There's no middle ground once you pluck someone out from Holland. They're either good to very good or bad to absolutely incredibly awful. Assaidi? Maybe the first middle-gound player from Holland?
Capable of playing on both wings or as a striker, Oussama has had two good seasons for Heerenveen, with 19 goals in 58 games, also known as 1 in 3. Not great but not bad either. At £4.5m he's rather low-risk and he's playing in a position of need. And he's only 24 so not a bad signing from Rodgers. Let's just hope he's more Robben than Afonso Alves (FYI now banging the goals in at...Al-Rayyan. Bless you.)
 |
| Alves also came from Heerenveen (Liverpool fans collectively shiver) |
Worst case scenario: Stewart Downing
SAMED YESIL
I've got nothing against the boy (still 18) but I'm getting tired of signings like Samed Yesil. Sure he's only 18 and he's already played in the Bundesliga (albeit only one game). But Premier League reserves are crammed with players like Yesil, somehow bought based on their potential. And at the detriment of young English players. At best he will 'do a Borini', leave Liverpool and play at a decent level for another club. Rant over. But needless to say, I don't care about this signing. If he was THAT good we would have heard about him by now.
 |
| I typed 'random' in Google because that's what I think Samed Yesil is. Unfortunately, that's what came up. |
Worst case scenario: don't care
WALLY'S ADVICE
Give some players a chance
OK he had a diabolical season. He was so bad I can't even compare him to anyone THAT bad. That's how awful Downing was. But you're telling me he's going to be that bad again this season? Why, instead of talking about him as a left-back, doesn't Rodgers simply aspire to giving him confidence once again. I mean, he was overrated at Villa (just like Ashley Young) but he was still a very good versatile winger. So please give Downing a chance n consecutive games. If it doesn't work out Rodgers will be able to blame it on Dalglish. A win-win situation really, especially in a position where Liverpool lack good players.
Give confidence back to Joe Cole as well. I'm guessing he's refreshed and still has something in the tank.
And please give a chance to Shelvey (convincing against Man City), Kelly, Robinson, Flanagan, Coates and of course Sterling (which he already has). Not so much to Henderson. He is really that crap.
Hold senior players accountable
That means telling Gerrard, Suarez, Reina and Glenn Johnson when they've been crap, which has happened quite a lot over the last 18 months. And no need to talk about Carragher. Good influence in the dressing room, but washed up as a player.
Tell Suarez to shut up and stop acting up
Please do it Brendan. Pretty please?
 |
| Make him stop that. |
Keep blaming Kenny, but in a nice way
Because the guy really did untold damage to the club and made your job that much harder.
THE LINE-UP
In our view
Reina
Kelly Skrtel Agger Jose Enrique/Robinson/Johnson
Lucas Allen
Gerrard
Downing Joe Cole/Sterling/Suarez
Suarez/Borini
How they probably will line up
Reina
Johnson Skrtel Agger Jose Enrique
Lucas Allen
Gerrard
Borini Sterling/Downing
Suarez
PREDICTIONS
It is going to be hard season for Liverpool. It's already started badly enough. But, considering how difficult it is to implement a different culture at a club, Liverpool will pick up eventually. This is a rebuilding season. A disappointing yet good 9th considering all the shenanigans.
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